How to convience my man who loves me but uncertain of marriage?

Question

Hi

I’m in arelation since 5 years with a man .. since college days now, after graduation I really donno wats happening so asking u for guidance. My man proposed me after a year of knowing me even, after we went out for a year ….he proposed me that he wants to marry me only after knowing me complety .but now hez very confused coz its career & his mom told him not to get this girls proposal home ur friends & just be that .( only after graduation this happened at his place).

. I have been many times to his home when his parents are there,hez very loving ,caring& possessive also .. but now aftr graduation hez willing to go to America for higher studies & I’m not stopping him also being his support.

I’m getting lot of offers & I can’t make my parents wait & want to involve my parents in this relationship. But hez very hesitant hez not willing for any kind of approach .. I asked him if he needs time, is tat v are not financially stable to get married ? n al he just said that I myself donno that wen I’ll be back from America incase my visa comes with so many uncertainty in me what can I tel u .

What should I do he tells me he loves me & wen v decide to break up he patches up . should I wait for him? Should I tell my parents? We are of 2 different religions also. Many times his friends told him to drop me as its not possible to marry her. But he stood next to me he never heard anybody..how should I ask him bout marriage ?which I have asked many times after graduation especially ..

I cannot go with any other guy as I can’t hurt him I dearly love him..

Please guide me .. I just need him to decided when to get married ?we both are 22 nowhe has got a job .. but I’m still in verge of getting one.

Answer 1

Okay - No lie your text was confusing. But I figured it out!!!  =) I was thinking after wards I write messed up sometime too...lol But aye check it. Honestly, I dont think he has plans on marrying you. I think he's using his mother as an excuse not to marry you. He is more so concern with his studies abroad and perhaps another broad once he comes to america. Its different here and he will perhaps be tempted. I'm sure he will start off - trying to actually just concentrate on education.  He's a very young man and more than likely he will deviate from your planned relationship. I think what you should do is go on with your own college education, because you will need something to fall back on, also - just bring it up to him about the point of him being away and how if he meet someone else how will he respond to them. I don't think you should be a stool pigeon sitting idely by waiting for him to return. because he's not a movie sequal- he may stay after finding suitable work. Then you have to review your relationship - can you see you guys together forever?? If you can -  ask yourself can he see you together forever. When you are so young - its mainly puppy love. He's mother will also be in his ear, concern with his career. As mothers do - So just take time to love you and find something that you love to do- Also you could pray about it, I'm sure god will give you an answer.

Answer 2

You know, if it is meant to be it will be. But right now it sounds like it is not the right time and if you love him enough, your interest will not be sparked by other men in other words, you will not be interested in other men, no matter how long you have to wait, but then I am not telling you to wait forever either. You need to sit down and leave the families out of it and make sure you are both willing to wait and you both want the same thing in the end, But it sounds to me that it will not hurt either of you to wait and explore and live a little before making a commitment that will effect the rest of your life and his.

Answer 3

you are too young; you haven't learned that you can't make anyone do anything and even if you could why would you want to??????  You can't convince him that he loves you; only he can decide that; what you can decide is whether you are willing to spend your precious time on this Earth waiting for him to decide what your life will be .... if he doesn't love you - you move on and live your life