How to convince wife about daycare?

Question

How do I convince my wife to send our newborn to daycare and not have one of our neighbors watch our son? I don't feel comfortable about our neighbor watching him. She is a teacher who just had a kid, and now she wants to stay home and do daycare. But I just don't feel comfortable sending my son there, she has never done this, she would be by herself, she would always put her kid first, and also they have a dog. What can I do to convince my wife this is a bad idea? She seems intent on this to save money for a new home. I don't care about the money, just our sons well being. Help!

Answer 1

Well, I dont think you realize how little one on one attention he will get in daycare either.  I have worked in daycare and I think parents really do not realize the things that go on behind closed doors.  A lot are under-staffed, the teachers make diddly-squat for money, and one person may be in a room taking care of up to five newborns.  So check out facilities well.  I run a home daycare myself, and I love other peoples children as if they were my own.  There are a lot of good home daycares.  You have to find one that you are comfortable with...maybe one with a webcam!  But I agree with you that the neighbor with a newborn and a dog is not the answer either.  If you do decide to go with a regular daycare check it out really well, there are some that are a lot better than others.  Go several different times, show up unannounced and see what is going on there.  Kids are such precious things.....don't just send him anywhere!  

Answer 2

here is what I would do:

check out both places, see how they both treat your son.

on one hand the neighbor might be better because she does not have as many children to tend to & on the other hand a day care might be better because if the teacher calls out sick there is always another

their to watch your child

I grew up going to both & liked the sitter better, the sitters that I had always treated me the same way that they treated their own children

check out both & go with who you feel would be the best , good luck

Answer 3

I think you need to talk to her about AGREEING on a person to care for your child. If you’re not comfortable with the neighbor, SPEAK UP! I really feel strongly that it takes BOTH parents to agree upon things regarding the baby. It helps a man feel included and well, it’s his child too. Could you look for other in-home daycares? Legit ones? Licensed? Or check out other daycare facilities?

I have to be honest with you when I say that with a newborn, you cannot put a price on who watches them. And yes, times are tough, money is tight, but this is something YOU shouldn’t budge on.

I had to go back to work when my son was 3 months old. I found a great nanny that was staying home with her kids, looking for extra money. She watched our son for 6 months and then she moved away. But it was great for all of us while it lasted. Then I sent my son to an in-home daycare which he loved. It was convenient because he was small and it was affordable and the daycare had only 4 kids. It worked well for us! Now my son is almost 2 and he’s in a daycare facility. He LOVES it. Sometimes he even cries when it’s time to go home.

Trust your instincts and talk to your wife and ask her to compromise with you. Best of luck!!

Answer 4

I think your wife is right to send him to a neighbors!

A teacher is an educated person, she can figure out how to change a diaper! And having her own child at the same time will keep her engaged in the children. I do not believe she will play favorites. Also this child could be your child's best friend, since they are neighbors!

I was hired as a nanny with very little experience, but I'm an educated person and I picked it up. Daycare providers are only required to be 19 years old and have a GED... a teacher is a perfect daycare provider! I don't know where else you are considering sending your child, but I can't think of anywhere better besides hiring a very good nanny or one of you staying home yourselves!

I might be a bit biased though, I am also hoping to take in 2 children when I have a child myself. I will have 2 years nannying experience a one year old and 3 year old, but I've seen what kind of nanny's and daycare providers are out there... I'm shocked you aren't excited about a neighbor who is a teacher watching your child! lol.

Answer 5

You also need to realize what goes on in day cares! Just talk to her about it and tell her how you feel...tell her why you don't want the baby over there and then let her tell you how she feels.  

Answer 6

Well if you don't feel comfortable because of her lack of daycare experience, I can understand that, but you should also try to understand where your wife is coming from.  It is very very difficult to trust your child to someone you barely know, as you do when you put them in daycare.  the thought of leaving your son with a neighbor that she knows is probably much more comfortable for her.  I can see how you would be concerned about her not having help with the children, have you explained this to your wife in a direct way like that? As for her putting her kid first, you may be right, but in a daycare setting, things really are not any different since there are usually several other children to look after, and newborns do not always get the care that they deserve.  Just trying to give you some of what I think would probably be her perspective.  If you just don't feel comfortable, explain that to your wife calmly, and hopefully she will respect that.  Ask her if she would be willing to humor you and visit a few daycares that you have in mind and interview the providers.  Maybe that would make her more open to the idea.  Good luck.

Answer 7

i know putting my three children (ages 8,3,2) since each of them were 15 months was the best thing every for them. Social interaction. they need to be around children of their age, to bond, inter-ACT, my children were happier. they would  home with tons to say, faces of joy. plus it gave me a break. also they are licensed place with licensed teacher by the state, less chances of something going wrong and your child being hurt. warning thou in the first few months of child care, your child will get a cold, being exposed to new germs, and doctor would tell you this but it builds your childs immune system to protect them when they grow up, don't shelter your child, it will cause interal and external problems in the long run.