How to cope with my kids with my ex-husband and new wife?

Question

I am a mom of two. I have been separated for over two years. My ex-husband is remarried. I need suggestions on how to cope with him and his new wife trying to control everything. Things such as me going to a doctor appointment and then her having to come in the room. Telling my kids to call her mom and her kids their sisters. Every time I do something with the kids there is always a negative comment made. When my kids don't want to be there, I try to encourage them to spend time with their father. I try to stay positive and this is the thanks I get. My kids are my life and it hurts. HELP!

Answer 1

Don't let them walk over you. Be the Mom, you're the Mom. No, your children have a mother, they don't call her Mom, tell the new wife. Assert your authority every chance you get or they will walk all over you.

Answer 2

i know, hon. i have the same situation for about 8 years now! and it KILLS me to send my daughter to her father's house because of this.

i must say, when we were going through divorce/court dates, etc. and i discovered that my ex was having her call her step-mother, "mom", i was outraged! told my lawyer and she had the judge put it in our agreement that they could not do that. the judge will actually do that (because it is so obviously wrong and hurtful to the child) making it contempt of court if they try that again.

other than that, i'm sorry there is not much you can do. EXCEPT to continue to love and protect your kids exactly like you are doing. they WILL figure it out some day. keeping them first in your mind, no matter what the others do is the best way to cope that i know of.

Answer 3

Wow, I cant imagine!! I would tell your ex and his wife that its insanely inappropriate for them to tell the kids to call her mom! They HAVE a mom already! Try your hardest not to back hand her, thats what I would want to do if someone was telling my daughter to call them mom! YEA RIGHT, OVER MY DEAD BODY!! Its hard when an exes souse/girlfriend cant be mature and and resorts to negative comments. Dont stoop to their level, though! Good Luck, stay strong, stand your ground no matter what!

Answer 4

I think that ur kids should show respect but not call her mom no one can take ur place ...its hard to deal with but always be the lady that u r and every thing will work out .........hopeful every thing is cool over there with the dad since the kids dont really want to go maybe its the throught of the women ........just always   talk and listen to ur kids ..hope every thing work out

Answer 5

You are NOT wrong for not wanting them to call her mom...the bi*ch is crazy!!!  You need to have a talk with her and put her in her place and fast!  You don't have to be ugly about it or even nasty but enough is enough and you can always tell her that your kids will call her mom when her kids start calling you mom since she feels the need to force your kids to say her kids are their sisters....she ain't right!!!

Answer 6

Could you be my double? na, that's not possible! My ex's wife use to bud into situations bout kids too. Making the plans, you name it, she did it, right down to having the kids call her mom. I stopped allowing her put herself and involving herself in things she had no place in. Basically, cut of the communication, Soulfully dealing with my ex. If she calls, text (  do not call, or txt her back). Call ur ex as HIM do you need something ? Ur wife called? Certainly, she will not like this, and in time the budding in comes to a halt, "did for me".F.Y.I. You being the parent of the children, you can discuss with the Dr. you do not want her in the room. You have that right. She has no legalagl rights that allow her to do that. If it helps, have your Dr. explain to her that medical involvements are private, and he prefers not to breach the right of privacy. Or, Just simply tell, her, she can no longer be at the appointment. BLUNTLY, no more, no less . Do not expect ur ex to fight this battle, Im certain he won't. He is in her corner, remember? That is his wife. Of course not that u didn't know that. It's a metaphor, to help u see it from there side of the fence. My kids call her mom too. Like u it hurt, but in time u will see like I did, it's just a label, and your kids know who there real mother is, and their is no comparisonson, and natrully love u more. My kids can't stand her either.

Answer 7

Well, if they don't want to be there then I wouldn't have them stay.  It's up to their father to then change the 'environment' to allow your children to feel comfortable.