How to court a girl in the Philippines?

Question

Hey.....I am a boy (not a girl) and I am in love with a girl in the Philippines that I have known for about 14 months. (she is in love with me too, she has told me) But, when I asked (just recently) if she could be my girlfriend, she said "How can i be your girlfriend if you have not even courted me?" and I said "Well, how can I court you if you are in the Philippines?" she replied "You need to find a way, but I will not tell you how to do it. Ask another filipina how to do it, then you can court me and be my girlfriend"

So, my question is, how can i court her, despite the fact that she lives in the Philippines?

Any answers will be appreciated. Thank you.

Answer 1

Well it depends on how you want it. If you really likes her alot, you can go ahead.. but if not really likes her that much, do not proceed.

well prior to my present girlfriend, i have a filipino girlfriend before. I courted her to her home. I was with her staying together in my home country and I know we are truely in love but we are together but not in the Philippines. She went back her country but then i flew to be with her and have to court her parents and herself ya. I successfully courted her parents but in the end when I'm leaving for my flight back she said we cannot be together. I was so puzzled. Why she was with me in here but she went back already she says we cannot be together. Some how she was true to me when she was here but she is not true to me after she went back.

Well heartbroken i was but its ok i got like her alot that time.

It depends on how you see it, whether you think the time and effort is worth it. Based on my own experience, its not worth it. If a girl really likes you, she will teach you how to get accepted. Filipinos are very easy going people I think. I do not face any difficulties in winning over the hearts of my present girlfriend's parents/ grandparents and relatives also partly due to her help. Courting is not that necessary. I only courted my girlfriend here without going to the Philippines.

Good Luck!  

Answer 2

simply come over and see her. if you cant, call her and ask her if you can court her. ask her,'pwede ba kitang ligawan?'. trust me it works.

Answer 3

She's talking about you going to her house to meet her parents and other family.  You better not hold hands, kiss, or even sit next to her.  They have to grill you like a POW and ascertain how much wealth you have and your potential for future income.  She and her family are looking to be showered with gifts and cash payments to properly determine your level of interest in this girl.  I know how odd this sounds but, if you could give them a pig or a goat or some other edible livestock, you would be in like flint.  This is no joke.  She can't tell you how to do this because its like "palimos po" so someone else has to tell you what to do.

Answer 4

Call her up and sing sweet songs that will totally melt her heart!

Answer 5

Since you are a boy and not a man, Do you have any money?

Answer 6

She's playing games.You need to go find a new love. A real woman knows what she wants and she won't waste time playing games. At the same time if she lets you go then it means she was never really interested except probably with messing with your emotions. I tell you this because your already an adult. All that other stuff is high school innocence.  

Answer 7

thats very old fashioned. no one i know in manila does that anymore

Answer 8

If you are an American, its all that corny stuff your grandparents talk about.  When a Filipina says "you need to court me" thats code speak for "you need to prove yourself worthy of me".   What you should do when you hear those words is....... run like h**l the other way.   Why? you might ask.  Because once you bite that hook, you never get loose.  You'll never pull it off.  At 20 they will chew you up and spit you out.  Find yourself a local girl.

Answer 9

lol,

write her love letters and poems and send her presents. You have to be oldfashioned an romantic.

And at your age, you ought not to talk about love.

Answer 10

You have a problem my friend and I will explain it best I can:

You can't court this girl...and there in lies the problem.  Let me explain.  First, she is referring to courtship that leads to marriage.  In the PI the concept of girl friend and boyfriend only exist as a prelude to marriage and do so after intentions.  In theory you have already courted her.  What you haven't done is proposed intentions.  "Intentions" or a "proposal for intentions" is when you ask her to be your steady girl.  You did that but you didn't do it properly.  Think of how a woman in the USA would want a man to propose marriage, now propose intetions to her announcing your desire for her to be your steady girl (use that word not girl friend).  Explain what and why you want her to be your steady girl, how you make her feel and your intentions as to what your hopes are.  I mean that you want her to be your steady girl because you care about her (why and how much) and want to one day perhaps have a life with her as your wife.  Once you propose intentions, there is no marriage proposal, no fiancee until a date is set.  Before you propose intentions you should meet her, and you should meet her Mom if not parents, and of course, her siblings.  Proposing intentions is sort of like asking a girl to go steady, but in the PI this is very special event and the most important event before marriage.  It is more important that proposal for marriage.  

You can propose intetions to her after she lets you meet her family (at least the Mom and siblings) once or twice is fine.  She is aware you are there on a tight schedule and will facilitate the speed and timing issue as best she can.  Once you propose she has to accept, and you can ask her to give you her answer quickly, even giving her a couple days to sort things out because time is precious and your stay is limited so that you can give your relationship the most quality time you can.

Now here's the problem, a good girl would only marry a good boy, and a good boy would only marry a good girl.  So how can a good man like yourself want to marry a woman he met on the internet?  That's the problem.  How can you talk about love without knowing her?  SO you have to convince her that you believe she is a wonderful woman, and you have to ensure she shows you her best qualities.  

For example, if you meet a girl in a bar, and ask her to be your girl friend she can't respect you because you're asking a "Bar gir" to be your gf, so you must have problem or look down on her.  You would have to meet her in church or somewhere nice to do that.  

So the answer to your question is you can't court her, and she can't be your gf.  You can go there as her fried, and court her there and show a genuine realationship (no s*x, touching, holding hands, until after you propose and she accepts intentions).  

For now call her frequently, be her friend, and be nice to her. DOn't send her money and be sure once you propose to her (if you do) that you set rules regarding the wedding, marriage,and expenses including sending money home.  Be clear and specific so she can decide if she is only after you for money or marriage.

Answer 11

What?! Hey, do I have to get insulted in reading these answers? I am a Filipina and I don't think it's really like that.

Basically, you have to determine where she (the girl) really is at. If she's in the Metro or in the province.  The place is one factor in thinking how you should court her. Like for me, from the Metro, courting means telling how you feel face to face (yes, you have to meet her) going long distance implied that you're only trying to make a pass at her-- that you're not serious. Or you might want to call her directly in the phone. Ways that you can be in touch with each other with a whip of being personal. Meeting the girl first is the first in courting.

Then, she will be the one who will introduce you to her parents. How do this happen? She will hint going to her house-- either its because its her mom's birthday or its christmas or something like that. If no hint came, you should initiate the desire to meet her parents. Meeting the parents signifies that you are serious in your relationship or at least to her. This is the stage also where the parents can judge if you are a good man whom they can entrust their 'princess'. Bringing flowers and gifts is okay but need not be expensive. Like cakes or fruits. Forget the "GOAT" or any other cattles-- that only happens in the movies and in the old days (only few provinces adhere to this nowadays--mostly remote ones). In fact, they might even laugh at you silently for bringing these animals because in the city, its not very practical, not to mention all the dirt and f***s this will eventually bring (yeww!)

After meeting with her parents, and if you think they approve of you, you can start the courting proper. Like calling her, texting messages... going to the movies if she like or helping out with her family during occasions.

Ask for the status of your relationship. We girls are embarrassed to ask this directly you know.  Asking simple questions like "Are you my girl now?" Or "Does this mean I'm your boyfriend now?" are a good choice of words.

s*x is a taboo during courting. My friend (girl) who is going out with his boyfriend told me during one of our chitchats that s*x happened after two to four years of their relationship.  I even knew some who have never done it before marriage. Virginity is one of the factors inculcated in Filipinas since they were young. Especially in the provinces so its like saying almost all those in the provinces are virgins before they get married. Having a child out of wedlock outcasts not only the girl but her family from society. Not to mention the child will be branded a b*****d forever. Its really like disgracing the family and no one Filipino family wants that.

So there. The benefit of having a Filipina wife is that she can really take care of the household.  Household chores are part of the child's life  from scrubbing floors to cooking to taking care of the kids.

If you are ready for this type of life, go ahead and court her. If not and you just want to pass the time, spare the poor girl and look for someone else. Marriage here is very imporant. That's why we don't have a divorce.

Answer 12

She's basically telling you to fly over there to meet her.. This is a typical courting in the Philippines in addition to love songs, poems, dates.. Just beware, it might be a lure to you to marry her.. It probably doesn't matter if you really love her but just make sure that she really loves you.. It's all a game..