How to deal with 4yr old whining in public?

Question

my 4 yr old boy has been doing this whining thing in public, it is hard to ignore him in public, and its quite embaressing..

he only whines when he wants something obliviuosly..i do not buy him something everytime we go somewhere...so i dont know why he has started this..

also, i have started a reward chart for him for 3 chores and he gets a sticker..this works well, he has to wash his hands, pick up toys and make bed...

Answer 1

basically, im a mother of almost a four yr old. Im going thru the SAME THING! and all the answers ive read is true, if he starts to whine tell him to stop nicely that you are running erands to pick stuff up that you and the famaily NEED! if that doesnt work take him out of the store and go home. if you are with ur husband (if there is a MR.) or family member or friend, and he starts, tell them if its ok with them to take him out of the store and do what you have to do. if your alone, then go home and wait till your husband comes home then go out, or ask your husband to go run those errands.

Its tought BELIEVE ME IT IS. most of the time im slways with my son while my husband works and he starts, so i take him home and wait till i can go to the store by my self.

Answer 2

I'm just going to say this...and I will get all of the thumbs down. America is becoming weak, weak minded, scared, soft in a matter of speaking. I would imagine you got spanked as a child, I did as well, and so on. It straightened you out though did it not? Parents are scared to discipline their children because they might get in trouble...If you raise a child in fear you are going to get horrible results in the end. I will say this much, not only does it make a child think about what he is about to do, but it also instills that there are consequences for your actions. Children NEED this lesson, and standing in the corner will not suffice. I hate to say it...but it is O so true. Report me, give me the thumbs down...do whatever you hippie, make love, politically correct people may do. Somebody in America needs to voice their opinion without fear...I will do that! Stop being afraid! Start being real!

Answer 3

I raised 3 kids, and helped with 8 grandkids.  I told them: if you whine or carry on, I will take yoiu out of the store.

Once they got that, I introduced: If you are good while I shop, I will let you pick out a toy.  But if you whine at all until we get ther, I will just take you home.

They hate it.  But they do GET IT.

Answer 4

the chart, you can make them magnets and tell him that if he doesnt behave you'll take one off, but if he does behave you give him to. You could also try saying that if he whines you'll take one toy away for a week

Answer 5

My four year old went through that whining phase for a while. Once she started, no matter where we were, I immediately removed her from the store/party/restaurant/etc. If she kept it up she would get a swat on her backside and be taken home. Her phase didn't last very long for which I am grateful.

Note, not all parents advocate spanking, and a surprising number do not want to have to accomodate their or diminish their own enjoyment of activities when their child is whining and being a bother to others. So, I guess there is no right or wrong way.

I do strongly believe that if your child's whining or temper tantrum is impeding on someone else's enjoyment of an activity, you should remove your child. Ignoring the situation only flames up everyone around you.

Answer 6

my sister has a 4 year old boy and everytime that he wants something she just ignors him or she will act like she will buy it but she won't

Answer 7

Start whining first.

Answer 8

Typical 4 year old i think. Mine does the same thing. but he has chores he does and he knows he get  .50 cents a day if he gets them done and then on the 20th of each month he gets to go out with his dad and  buy his own toy. When he starts whining we just say remeber how much you want this and on the 20th if you have enough you can get it. He typicaly remebers it too.

Answer 9

just tell him this next time you take him/her to the store tell him you will give him a sticker if he doesn't whine

Answer 10

He's just testing you.  All kids do it.  Be firm and consistent.  If you let in once, he'll remember it.  Another thing is if his behavior in public becomes intolerable, remove him from public.  Find a "time-out" place somewhere where you will just have to take the time to wait him out.  Don't negotiate.  You're the parent, you're the boss.  Don't let him hold you hostage to his behavior in public.

This may seem "old school" but it really is simple.  It just takes discipline.  And I'm not talking about the kid, I'm talking about YOU!  Too many parents lack the personal discipline to enforce common sense rules, and give in to quick easy-outs, like buying the toy or the candy.

Kids need rules, and they need the rules enforced.  But I'm not some sort of martinet.  You don't need to set "boot camp" rules.  But acceptable behavior in public is not too much of a rule to set.  As kids get older and smarter the rules need become fewer and less stringent, and kids will learn to understand there are times when it's "okay to break the rules."  But this is beyond the concept of 4-year-olds.

Good luck!

Answer 11

It's hard to stop whining in public without looking like the bad guy; I actually had a grandma scold me once for firmly telling my son to be quiet!

If your son starts whining and begging for a candy in the store, tell him "No" firmly at first, and tell him why.  If he continues, I've found that getting down to his level, looking him in the eye and telling him he has one last chance works well.  If he still whines, leave the store.  I know it's hard, but ask the cashier to watch your groceries or etc and then just leave.

Answer 12

my lil sis was adopted and had a lot of issues and there were times when she was like 10 that she would yell and scream at my mom in the middle of the mall and my mom (she is amazing by the way) would have to nearly drag her out. that being said... i think you can handle a 4 year old.

yes it can be embarrassing but that really isn't that important and DO NOT let your child know that he can control you because of this, i would recommend telling him that his behavior is inappropriate and take him outside for a time out, most people will understand. definitely dont try to appease him just so you dont get embarrassed, it will just make things worse. and if he gets too bad, give up on your shopping trip and take him home