How to deal with a 14 yr old who won't go to school assembly?

Question

Don't get me wrong, she will go to school but she does everything possible to get out of assembly. She also will pull every trick in the book to get out of the yearly carol concert. Her end of year assembly is coming up and she is begging me to let her take the day of school, obviously I said no! I keep asking why she won't go and she just shrugs and says she doesn't like them (boring). Is this really the reason? I can't keep arguing with her and some mornings she is reduced to tears.

Ideas?!

Answer 1

Cut off the electricity to her bedroom and don't let her go out, that should sort it!

Answer 2

assemblys are boring, its lessons u need to worry about.

or if you are worried

give her a good african beating*

....quenda!!

*a twig from your local tree will do just fine

Answer 3

Sometimes we have to do things that we don't like to do.  An assembly may be boring, but it's part of the school year.

So what if she finds it boring?   Let her sit there and tune out if she wants to.  It's a scheduled school event, so she needs to do it.  

Tell her she's going.  And NO, she won't be sick that day.  She needs to learn to do things she doesn't like, too.

Answer 4

when i was at school our assembly was total rubbish

and soo boring our teachers would go round us all to make sure we were dressed smartly and they would say a prayer every day i used to skip it all the time didnt do me any harm

i mean why should i pray if i didnt want to

Answer 5

Nahh, i see where she is coming from. i can't stand assembly's but that is no reason to want to skip them.

Don't get me wrong they're horrible! But you just have to tell her...it is all part of school. yeah they may be boring...but isn't all of school boring too?

well, whatever her reason, she should listen to you and if you say she is going to assembly...then she is going to assembly.

Answer 6

They are usually pointless and boring, but that's no excuse. Be the parent. Tell her she's going and that's final. If she refuses, then ground her.

Answer 7

Thoses concerts and end of the year assemblies are horrible,  for the love of god dont send her.

Answer 8

school assembly are a joke....seriously....i had to go to them in 9th, 10th, and 11th grade b/c my parents couldnt call me out...but I couldnt wait til 12th grade to ditch them....they are pointless...its just the school's attempt to honor the overachievers and try to get everyone in "school spirit"...

I used to listen to my CD player during them when I was in high school...

Answer 9

Sometime they have you do performances for the entire school. (that's what our school does) They are completely humiliating! I try to get out of them too. And maybe all of her friends are getting out of school that day too and she feels like she has to. If she's crying about it, just let her skip. It's just one day and she probably has a real reason to not go. She would be so grateful if you didn't make her go!

Answer 10

Well... I agree with her and I agree with you too.

I agree with her: assemblies are boring. Very boring. Heck, I'm a teacher and often times I find them boring. (when I can I try to make them more interesting.)

I agree with you: it is part of school. Not only that, but this is an important lesson in having to do things with a smile that you do not enjoy, a very important lesson for when she has a boring meeting at work, or a boring dinner at the boss's house. I would explain to her that boring is part of life and that you feel she should go and put on a happy face-- it is boring, but it is part of school and is only a hour or so! It's not the end of the world.

Talk to her patiently and logically and explain your side-- that she will have to do boring things all her life (for her kids, her spouse, her friends, her work) and weaseling out of them is not a lesson you want her to learn.

Answer 11

why make her go? You sound like a control freak with no empathy for her child at all.You argue with your kid too ..and you think she is the problem ..go figure

Answer 12

When I was at school I though they were totaly pointless so I can see her point, if it was me I wouldnt make a big deal of it

Answer 13

i would have a chat with the head, or teacher that does assembly.

do the kids have to sit on the floor? maybe someone has seen her underwear while sitting on the floor?

Answer 14

They are pointless and boring. And they can really kill your back.

Answer 15

14 year olds can be very weird! I know, I've been one! I wonder whether she is worried about what she or someone else will do in an assembly? When I was a teenager I hated going out for meals with my family because if I ever heard anyone cough I was terrified they were going to be sick! (Looking back I think this stemmed from my dad vomiting quite a bit when I was a kid and me worrying he was going to die!) And when I was even younger I hated school dinner times becuase someone was once almost sick near me. It took my mum months of different packed lunches before she could get me to eat anything at school! Lol, I admit I was a bit strange! Try to find out if anything has ever happened during an assembly, like someone being ill. She might not even recognise that this is where her phobia has come from. I've also known people to be scared of going into assemblies because they worried they would have a panic attack, or need to go out and wouldn't be able to get out. Maybe talk to the school about allowing her to sit at the end of a row, or near a door, so that if she does feel herself panicking she can leave easily. Often, knowing you can get out means you don't have to. Also, when a child in my mum's class was scared of assemblies she used to give her 'tablets' before them, and these worked a treat. All they were were glucose tablets, but the child thought they would relieve her anxiety and so they did. Your child is a bit older than that girl was, but that kind of thing might work. To me, from what you have described it does sound more than her thinking they are boring, because surely if that was all she wouldn't get herself so upset over them. I think there is another issue, and you will have to try to get to the bottom of things. Good luck with it all.

Answer 16

If it's that bad it's time to contact the school. Let her know what you're going to do and maybe she'll share her concerns with you. You'll be in a better position to decide what to do once you have a better idea of what's going on.

Answer 17

I felt the same way 30 years ago, and still hate these kinds of assemblies. I'd have to side with her, whatever the reasons.

Answer 18

I dont blame em!

I have one aswelll, It's so boring!!

But difference is i get black maid by my head of house

She tells me if i dont go den im gonna have a school detention Which means detention 3:15 till 4:00

And i have prom next year and if u are bad have any detentions and so on YOU CANT GO!!!