How to deal with a 'glass half-empty' partner...please help?

Question

I have been with my partner for 7 years and all that time he has driven me insane with his negative attitude. Nothing is ever good enough, he rarely has anything good to say about anyone and he is always expecting the worst to happen.

None of this would worry me except that he is a 'talk to think' sort of person and constantly verbalises his every thought.

I am a happy, positive person who tries to always look for solutions rather than problems, but this has got me stumped. How do I deal with his negativity and having to listen to him winge and whine all the time??

Any advise from professional psychologists would also be appreciated...

Thanks

Answer 1

Sorry, only an unprofessional psychologist here. The problem is that you can't change people, any attempts at doing so will only cause resentment. Reasonable people can be reasoned with, but unreasonable people will shut down, become hostile, and start to hate you. If he's not an introspective kind of person who is constantly striving to improve himself, I can't imagine him having any interest in changing because of your opinion of him. He'll probably just say, I am what I am, and that's what I'm saying too. Your only options are to deal with it, not take it personally, not let it get your down, or if you can't deal with it, then it has become abuse, and you should get out now before you build up your own store of resentment and guilt and start to find you're entering a depression of your own.

Answer 2

Other than the common 'communication' solution, I'm not sure what else you can do other than maybe end the relationship.  However, if you still have love and commitment in the relationship, I would recommend couples counseling.  But if you've been open and honest with him about how you feel concerning his negativity, have tried many options and you feel you can not deal with it anymore, the best solution I can think of is to break things off.  You can never change a person, only inspire them with your own life.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Opposites attract, it's a natural fact. If you are tired of him after all this time, you need to get evaluated by a counselor if you want to stay with him. Anybody that has problems with another person is looking at something they don't like about their own self within that person.The problem is that you can't accept him as he is anymore. Perhaps you've outgrown each other. Ever heard of the seven year itch? Look inside...is it worth staying with someone that drives you crazy?