How to deal with a autistic childs behaviors?

Question

My son was diagnosed with autism in april. but since he was 18 months old he has had very bad behaviors, if there is something that is out of the norm he will get very upset. often hurting himself and anything else that is in the path, i have hard time dealing with this seeing that I am a single mother, he is a very strong boy and has already broken my nose and i have many scars from where he has scratched and bit me. is there any help out there? i love him so much and just want the best for him and he is in behavioral speech and occupational therapy and is soon to be going into head start but I need to know if there is a special way to deal with him, I am in tears almost every day someone please help

Answer 1

Applied Behavior Analysis... You need to first find out why he is engaging in the problem behavior. This is the idea behind the science that has been very effective in treating problem behaviors. These behaviors are typical for students with autism... Don't just "ignore" the behavior. This is only effective if the behavior is maintained by access to social attention... which, from what you are saying does not sound like the case. It could be, but you really need to find out the cause.

If you can do it on your own, take data (ABC data) to determine behavioral function. You really need to find out why he is doing it. IF you say it is because things are out of order, that would be a tangible function... maybe rooted in OCD (I don't know).

But, the idea is to use the function to implement treatment. If you found out that the function to his behavior is access to tangible items, ignoring his problem behavior will not be effective... but, instead you could  teach him to request items or that things be in order appropriately. At the same time, you would have to increase his access to items during times when he is not engaging in those unwanted behaviors. Some people also use charts or PECS in order to facilitate the learning of the reward system.

Answer 2

Go to www.DailyStrength.org

There is an Autism/Autism Spectrum Community where you can ask all your questions & get lots of support & good answers from other parents in the same situation & others who have already raised their children. It's free & available 24/7!!

Also, contact your regional center (in the US) or its equivalent & you can get respite care sometimes & other needed services.

Answer 3

This is a very difficult situation. There are two issues at work here, possibly more. Your son is trying to communicate with you and unfortunately, his communication style is abusive. The other issue is that he may be getting a lot of attention when he becomes abusive.

The more he can communicate, the better he will behave. Ask your speech therapist for ways he can communicate with you at home. Check out "Verbal Behavior" on the 'Net to start a program of communication.

Make sure when your son is being violent, that you show no emotion, whether on your face or in your voice. In fact, the less you talk during these times, the better. Don't try to soothe him. You may be reinforcing the behavior. Also, if you choose to use this method, use it every time. Be consistent! It may take awhile for the behavior to change.

You may want to do a safe restraint if he is hurting you. You can find out about safe restraint by looking up Crisis Prevention Intervention on the 'Net or by taking a class. call your school district to see if they have any offerings.

If you choose to restrain him, say nothing! When he is calm, hug him and praise him and then go about your business as though nothing has happened. We are trying to avoid giving attention to the violent behavior. When you hug and try to soothe him, that is exactly what you are doing. Be sure to hug and give him attention when he is behaving.

The other thing you can try is to distract him using a highly preferred item. Unfortunately, with this you run the risk of rewarding the behavior, but if it works, it might be worth the risk.

To better understand your son, consider reading Temple Grandin's books: Thinking in Pictures and Animals in Translation. You will gain valuable insight into what your child is going through.

A final option is to find a behavior analyst in your area to help with changing this very complicated behavior. If you go to the BACB website, you can search for one in your area.

Finally, a previous answer mentioned structure. That is valuable advice.

Answer 4

Temple Grandon is a woman who has a PhD and is autistic.  Read her book.  She can supply you with a lot of info on what helped her.  It is good insight.

Answer 5

There are many books, but having a son diagnosed the same way I can only say that structure, structure, structure. If it is planned and a 'routine' he seems to do much better.  I've also noticed that having consequences which are treated very matter of fact like is also helpful. He knows what consequences are and he does accept them as long as we are consistent.  I'm sure you've already heard this so let me offer you my prayers and god bless.  We love our sons and have to remain as strong for them as we can.

Answer 6

sorry about that, thats very sad.  :(

Answer 7

This is a difficult question even for a counselor in the mental health field who has worked with autistic children.  I would advise you to get in touch with your local county mental health association for starters.  They offer support groups and can advise you on how to get hooked up with resources in your area.  It is also difficult to get everything you need from reading a book - you need to receive some training from a professional who can model appropriate behavior modification techniques for you.  It really requires a team effort to get the best results and you will need an evaluation from good psychologist as part of your team.  Family members who have frequent contact can also be helpful if they learn how to be part of the team:  consistency and discipline are crucial.  Good luck and God bless.

Answer 8

Lots of people have given u really good advice ad places to get info.  I work with autistic children and the one thing they need is routine and structure.  They almost need a structured timentable to follow-in that they always know what they are doing now and what they will be doing.  A speech therapist is needed to introduce u to things such as picture exchange communication (PECS) as everything needs to be very visual-it is easier to communicate that way.

Also u might find it useful to get a sand timer-u can get ones form 1min to 10 min ones.  Use these as part of a time out session from when he is misbehaving.  He will sit and watch the timer until it finishes-as i said everything is very visual for them.

also make sure everything is calm as noise can set them off as can bright lights etc.  u ideally need a calm and serene environ.  

People have mentioned about the gluten free diet-i have worked with some children on it and it has not worked.

Answer 9

How old is He? It sounds like you need to get a hold of his pediatrician and get referred to a child psychiatrist or psychologist. Perhaps if he is having these violent outburst then you need to give him an alterntive for hurting himself or you. You do need to keep him on a strict schedule and do not deviate from it, because that may be what gets him so angry. Can your son talk? Mine is non-verbal and 15, but he is very laid back for an autistic child. I can't imagine what you're going through because I am married even though my husband works all the time. I have advanced MS and must take care of both my kids. Get in touch with the local mental health association and see if they have respite care for autistic kids. I know you could use a break. If you ever want to chat just e-mail me I am here most of the day. He might improve some when he starts head start because they will get him on a routine.

God Bless

Answer 10

OMG! Please don't get Jenny McCarthy's book, there are so many more books out there with much more accurate information. Would you rather read a book from a playboy model about autism or from someone who actually knows what they are talking about?  I know she has a son that is on the autism spectrum, but she has some misleading information.

Most Autistic childern like schedules..they are very set in their ways..they do not like changes to a routine and can become frustrated very easily and act out.  If you haven't I would educate yourself as much as you can about autism itself, therapies, treatments, etc. The more you know about autism and such the more you can help your son.

Check for a local Center for Autism and Related Diseases (CARD). If you put your child into their database and attend an orientation, they provide wonderful services at no charge. They have classes ranging from feeding issues, potty training, behavior basics, IEP's & IDEA, puberty, etc. They will also come out to your house and work with you or any family member, babysitter, etc. that is involved with your child on behavior techniques, etc. If you go to the link below and check for offices, don't be discouraged if you don't see one in your local area. They have nothing listed there for Florida but yet there are about 8 - 9 different CARD centers throughout the state at  different universities.

You may want to join a support group online like at cafe mom for example, or even offline like a local Autism Society chapter. Online support groups can be a great place for support and to get ideas from parents. The Autism Society can be a great place for local resources, a great place for support, and a great place to get ideas from parents. They often hold events for the whole family, even for siblings that are not autistic.

If he's eating solid foods, you may want to also look into the gluten free/dairy (casein) free diet (gfcfdiet). In some cases with autistic childern eliminating those from their diet can improve the characteristics of autism, such as in their behavior.  Special care must be taken when checking ingredients lists as gluten may come in forms such as vegetable proteins and starch, modified food starch (when derived from wheat instead of maize), malt flavoring, and glucose syrup. Many foods will contain gluten, but not be indicated on the ingredients, because they are not in the formulation of the product, but in the preparation of it. One example of this is the dusting of the conveyor belts in the production facilities to prevent the foods from sticking during processing. The food itself might not contain gluten, but there is gluten in the ingested product. You should also look into products such as shampoo, sunscreen, lotions, toothpastes, etc. that can have gluten in them and be absorbed through the skin.

No matter how many wonderful ideas you get from others, what therapies you use, what diets you implement; we must remember what may work with one child may not always work with another child, but they are all worth a try. Hang in there it may take time and may be difficult but you will find something that will help your son. Good Luck =)

Answer 11

You poor thing.  You must be exhausted emotionally and physically.  Can you get Jenny McCarthy's book Louder than Words?  I've seen her recently on talk shows, and she talks about the difficulties of her Autistic son.  I know she's made changes in his diet, and also some other recommendations that have really made a difference.  You also need to find somebody who can care for your son once in a while so that you can take a break.  You need to also look for a support group of parents with Autistic children.  There should be one in your local area.  The parents of an Autistic child is the only advocate of that child, and you must fight daily for awareness and for aid.  Please know that you are not alone, there are many many parents who are in the same place you are.  I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 12

1st question... how old is your son? Sounds young.... so I am going to tell you all about what I did with my  Autistic boy at age 3, 4, and now sometimes when he is 5... but a lot of these problems have calmed down now.... My son is Autistic, but he is also high functioning. We have never had the chance of using ABA therapy... though that is supposed to be great. I have read a number of books too, and learned a lot, but what I am going to tell you about you can get started with a little bit of time on the internet. We thought then, and hind sight is 20-20... we were right, one of Timmy's greatest frustrations was his lack of ability to communicate.

1. I started using sign language. Just type into your search bar preschool and sign language... you should find a number of websites that will show you the signs in video... and you are not going to be using signs for every word... that would be too much at this point. You just want simple signs for things like more, eat, drink, potty time.... you see? If you have trouble finding the sites, email me. I will go through the deep recesses of my hardrive, and figure out where I put those sites... lol Funny thing was, my boy didn't necessarily use the sign language, but he did recongize the signs. Even now when he gets stressed, I will use a couple of signs to catch his attention, and he calms back down. Sometimes when I signed "please", he said the word... sometimes he signed back to me... but it started communication.

Another great visual communication trick... picture cards. There are a number of ways to use these... from communication books, to picture schedules, etc. You can laminite them and velcro them to a board... blah, blah, blah. Great stuff... But to get started.... go get some card stock, some tape and construction paper, and maybe a cheap photo album..... then go go Do2Learn.com  I still haven't gotten around to paying for a subscription for this sight... though I would love to. But to get started... they have a number of free pages of 2 inch picture cards to use.

1.  I made schedule boards by pinning up construction paper to the wall with a series of cards... Example... going potty, washing hands, and brushing teeth. Each and every step has a picture card, and we "go potty" following the same steps every time, using the same words, and pointing to the same pictures. Goodness, I haven't had to do that in ages... But I did the same type of things for the basic morning schedule, the bedtime routine, etc.

2. I also made a communication book. That is where the cheap photo album comes in. In there put the pictures of things he might want to come and communicate to you about. Sooo, if he really wants to play with his legos... he brings you his book, and shows you the picture... You can do this for a "I hurt" book... You know... "Ouch", and a picture of his... ear.  You can find a lot of these pictures at Do2Learn, and then I cut out pictures that I found either on the web or off of the toy box from new toys, whatever, and kept them in this little book. To get the point across to him, we started out reading his little picture book. Then, when I was making a suggestion of watching a certian Barney movie... I pulled out his book and showed him. Next thing I new, he was using it.

Now we don't even do that anymore. I had to give him "tools" to communicate, he picked up on the idea... and now we don't need the tools.

Another thing that made a huge difference for Timmy, was ADHD medicine. That was the last thing I wanted to try... but I was at my wits end. And it made a huge difference for Timmy. He was able to focus on what he was doing, he was better able to handle social interaction... with me, with his siblings... etc. He was so much happier. I tried it with my other spectrum boy... Timmy's identical tiwn... and it didn't work. But it did for Timmy.

Oh, another little thing. One of my friends, who was always very kind and supportive of me with my little terror, started counting with Timmy one day when he was upset. Now, often when he gets upset, he starts counting. That is my cue to turn around and give him my attention. Usually I can spot something simple that I can fix for him.  Oh, and another thing. There were times that I had to sit down, indian style, wrap my arms around him from behind, and rock and sing... our song was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star... it calmed him down... There was also time out in his room... he could scream and kick etc... but he couldn't hurt himself (just a room with pillows, mattress, and stuffed animals), and he couldn't hurt anyone else... and as soon as he stopped screaming and kicking, I gave him my attention. Tantrums didn't last as long that way.

Hmmm, I am brainstorming here, and babbling. I hope some of this helps you out. Have any more questions that you think I can answer, just email me. I'll be happy to help any way that I can.

Kat

Answer 13

First of all, please realize that he does not have 'bad' behavior. By judging him as bad, you are saying that he has a choice on how to behave and is choosing to do things that are socially inappropriate.

The truth is that your son will not learn more appropriate ways on his own, that is a common deficit of autism. You don't say how old he is now, and you don't mention his current capabilities. Is he verbal? Is he potty trained? Is he able to get his own food and drink? Can he play? How long has he been in therapy? Has he been tested for allergies?

There are special ways of dealing with your son, and what your behavioral therapist needs to be doing is working with both of you, within the home setting, to help set up a structure and routine that is comforting to HIM and allows him to live and learn.

Please contact your local autism society organization, not only will they be able to provide support, but they can help you contact better therapists, because by now with therapy he should be more calm and able to communicate in some way, whether it's verbal, sign or PECS. The school should be providing all these services for free, from the age of three. Please, please please, the sooner he has help, the better for both of you. Also read at www.wrightslaw.com. i know it's one more thing that you probably don't have time for, but knowing your son's legal rights to education and therapy will help so much in the long run, time after time I see parents get five or ten years down the road and be angry because they didn't realize the schools MUST provide all of these things.

Answer 14

I see some good advise and some well.. that I would take with a grain of salt. 'helpnout' is on target, except there is

CARD in FL it is based in Tallahassee, but we have a local

office here in NW FL where I live. Always take a day at a time.

Always remember that you know your child better than anyone. Don't give up hope. There are folks out there to help.

Get plugged in to a support group and keep him involved with

as many therapies as possible. I recommend equestrian therapy, it really helped my son cope with different things in his world.