How to deal with a child missing her mother?

Question

My boyfriend has his daughter every other weekend (and some througout the week). For about the last month maybe 6 weeks, every weekend that she stays with us she starts crying saying she's missing her mother. My boyfriend can't seem to understand since she's with her mom all the time and doesn't get to see him that often, it's very irritating that the little time we do get to spend with her she's crying wanting her mom. As a girl, I understand a little better because there's no substitute for a momma's loving, she's treated exceptionally well at our house and she has no siblings at either location, how do we help her cope with a situation that isn't going to change?

Answer 1

it could be that he only has her every other weekend. That is not enough time for her to really feel bonded I don't think. In time she will most likely look forward to the weekends, but for now, she is six. And six year olds get homesick easily. All I can think of is do really really fun things. Like the zoo and other active things that distract her. Also, make plans for the next time. So for the next time she can look forward to going to that big park down the road or going swimming or going to her favorite new movie. Give her something to look forward too.

Answer 2

Try to distract her with a fun activity first.  Sometimes, if they are having a good time, they forget to be upset.  If that isn't working, sometimes just a quick call to say hi to mom is enough to settle a kid down.

Answer 3

Its a normal feeling for her, shes only 6. I think you just need to reassure her that she`ll be seeing her mom soon. Don't spoil her any more than she probably is though. She just needs to understand that this is HER time with DADDY.( And you of course.) Let her call her mom before she goes to bed, and her mom needs to reassure her that everything is OK, and she`ll see her soon. She will grow out of this. Patience, Patience, Patience.....lol

PS Just continue your normal parenting pattern. She will be fine.

Answer 4

I am no expert, but have taken care of grandchildren who miss their mom. I think you could tell her that it is o.k. to miss her mom and let her know exactly when she will be seeing her mom again. Then distract her with activities that require her attention. One example might be to plant seeds inside in pots. You could take her to get the seeds and dirt and show her how to plant them and take care of them. She would have something to look forward to seeing when she comes over. You could find crafts like making things out of clay or weaving potholders, depending on how old she is. Ask her what kinds of things she likes to do with her mom and if she can show you what some of them are. Also, you can do things in the kitchen together. Stirring things in a bowl or peeling eggs can be fun for little ones.  You sound like a nice person and she might tell her mom that she misses you! An impatient dad doesn't make a little girl feel less like missing her mom tho.

Answer 5

How old is she?  Kids don't get really easy with leaving mom overnight until they're 10 or so.

The key to avoiding the problem is distraction.  Have another little kid over to play with her, or spend the night, have lots of activities they can do, feed, feed, feed them.  Keep them busy and you won't have to deal with their loneliness for mom.

For example, we used to make "tents" around the house and sleep in them.  We just put up dining room chairs, pulled bedding inside and slept there overnight (after we played ourselves to sleep).

TX Mom

Answer 6

She will come to accept the situation on her own. You both just need to be there and accept the fact that she misses her mom. It is still odd for her to be away from her mother and it will take time. Please explain to your BF to be patient with her. His getting frustrated or letting her know that she's hurting his feelings won't help her. It will keep her from letting the two of you know how she really feels.

The activities like outings, planting and baking are good ideas, I did those with my niece to get her used to being away from her mother.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

if they (mother and your bf) dont have a horrible relationship why dont all 4 of you do something together

Answer 8

why not engage the child into some activity with you,like baking cookies,play games like games board or the mall window shopping,there are many things to show her,it takes time before she understand that the situation.