How to deal with a disobedient 11 year old boy?

Question

My son is a loving caring child,he is the only one I have and he is my life.but lately he is not doing anything I asked to do,he is so lazy,just want to play video games,he feel "abuse" when I ask him to cooperate with the littlest chores:like ":make your bed,wash your dishes,clean the bathtub(once a week),or brush your teeth" The worse is that I feel manipulated into his web of lyes ,he constantly tells me "I did that already"

I think I am not a bad Mom,so why he does not respect any of my rules.? The worse is that feel guilty when I have to take his things away.

Also my husband who is a great stepdad to my son feels the pressure,he does'nt want to cause more tension by get in either side.

How to deal with this behavior? How to not fall for his cocodrile tears when he promise to do better and do not follow?

I am so drain. I love my boy I want him to learn about respect rules and be obidient .PLZ help!

Answer 1

Smack him in the head with a boot !

Answer 2

Spank him. Become Strict, MEan, make him hate u. just a little.

Answer 3

Consequences work wonders.  Earn tokens/stars to be able to use video games by doing basic chores.  Eg, feed dog - 2 tokens, brush teeth 2 tokens - Need 10 tokens in order to have video game that night.  Can loose tokens for poor behaviour or gain tokens for good behaviour.  Adapt this as necessary.  Also 1-2-3 Magic Parenting book has simple strategies you can try - Works for me but she is girl/8

Answer 4

No way would I spank an eleven year old!

My son is also eleven and has some disobedient issues. Follow thru with punishments is really hard, when you see your child unhappy.

Don't make punishment unrealistic, like no video games for a month! I

I usually take away TV,and games for an evening. My son actually seems calmer and spends time with us when he know he's can't hold up in his rooms for endless hours in techno land.

I also keep a point chart on the fridge for all chores he is to do. He looses points if he does not do chores, and gaines extra points when doing extra help around the house.

He cashes in points for money or special activities.It still takes reminding him daily, but he knows when asking for money or privileges, he has to use the points.

This also replaced the allowance he was receiving and he is more motivated to do his chores.

Hope this gives you some ideas,

                                  Good Luck, A Fellow MOM

Answer 5

First off the step dad should back you up on the discipline,.  He his helping to support this child and should be able to punish as well as praise this child. There should be two parents raising this child, not just one.  Second follow Thu with your punishment, If he lies about doing his chores then he is in trouble for lying to you and for not doing the chores!  If he cries oh well, being unhappy is part of growing up!  It is a consequences you suffer when you don't mind the authority figure.  You have to hold your ground and follow Thu with punishments.  Your husband and you and the child should sit down and discus what the punishment is going to be when he does _______.  That way everyone knows the rules and what is going to happen when the rules are broken.  I bet he will get his act together when he realizes those tears aren't working any more!  Good Luck!

Answer 6

Sounds like maybe you aren't following through.  If you ask him to do something stand there until he does it.  Don't give him the option of lying to you.  If he doesn't do the things he is supposed to do give him a warning.  If he still doesn't then you need to punish him appropriate for his age like taking tv and video games for the rest of the day.  Don't do anything harsh like taking things away for a week cause that causes depression.  Punishments shouldn't last longer than a day until they become teenagers.

Answer 7

you turn him over your knee and apply some heat to his seat.