How to deal with a know-it-all 9 yr old?

Question

My stepson is 9 and will be in 4th grade. He lives with his mom and stepdad and we have him about every other weekend. He is increasingly becoming a know-it-all and will argue every single point of a conversation until it's impossilbe to talk with him at all. He is not this way so much with his dad as he is with me. He will ask a question like "What year did Columbus land in America?" I'll answer "1492." He'll act like he already knew the answer and say, "Oh yeah. I know that. He landed in 1492." He'll do this 50 times a day. He truly thinks he knows everything and won't let me tell him anything without pretending he already knows.

I don't know how to deal with him! I love him and he is a very sensitive boy and he would probably start bawling if I addressed this with him. I have very little experience with kids this age (my only child is a toddler) and I keep thinking it's just a phase, but he only gets worse. It's getting to the point where he is so annoying that I can't stand to be around him. He dominates all the conversations at dinner and puts in his 2 cents with our adult topics (gas prices, Obama vs McCain) even if he really has no clue.

He and I get along fairly well. I know I'm just the stepmom to him and I'm not his favorite person. He's very close to his mom. My husband knows I'm getting sick of his behavior, but he hasn't said anything to him yet.

I just need some advice on how to deal with him.

Answer 1

Try talking to your husband again. You can also try saying when he is asking a question like that "Well what do you think it is?" Let him answer and then say well I guess your right and walk away. This will annoy him. It may make it worse or it may make it better. It all depends on the child. My nephew did this when he was visiting for the somer and he is the same age. I explained to him what rude was and how to tell when he is being rude. After that when he would say something I would ask "do you think that is a rude comment or question". He would stop and think then say yes or no. If it was a rude question or answer and he did not think it was I would explain why and then give him an example by asking him a question just as rude and asking him how it felt. It took a couple of times, but he got the point. Good luck! :)

Answer 2

Deal with it, Thank God he's not in drugs. He respects you.. eyc..

Answer 3

hes being a typical kid just ignore it

Answer 4

Just dont talk to him. If he nags at you, ignore him.

Remember, he's only nine and like you said, has no clue about some of the thing he says. Be easy..

Answer 5

One of these times, ask him to answer this question:  "Quick, what's 500 multiplied by 680?"  (Answer is 340,000)   Don't let him get a calculator and kind of ask the question in a urging manner.  He won't know the answer obviously.  Then, say "I know it."  Then, kind of make like you're working it out in your head, then say the answer aloud.  He'll probably want to verify it on the calculator.  When he sees that you're right, say "So, it looks like there are some things that your step-mom does know, that maybe you don't know yet."  If he asks you to figure out another question like that, say "No, just one for today."  By doing this, you'll gain the upper hand.  Then, don't ever bring this up again where you'd have to answer such a math question like this.  Instead, engage him in conversation and discuss about things like life experience that you have much more knowledge about (but don't preach), and try to make him think in terms of "What would I do if I was in this situation?  How do I want to be when I'm 19 years old?", etc.  By doing this, he'll develop his imagination better and create original thought.  Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, if it bothers you that much, you really do need to address it with him. Maybe he doesn't realize he's doing it, or maybe there's something else bothering him. If he's behaving inappropriately, you can't ignore it just because you think it might hurt his feelings to address it. Nobody likes to see a little kid upset, but it's better to have him mad at you for a little while than to not be able to stand being around him. Talk to him about it, but try to be as nice as you can. Try to focus on how his behavior makes you feel.  

Answer 7

You need to address it with him. tell him how it makes you feel and the behavior you expect. If he's as sensitive as you say, one would think he'd have some empathy for you.

Try talking about things at dinner a lil more that he's interested in and knows about. When he's out of his element, quickly acknowledge what he said and move on. If he continues, threaten a timeout or whatever it is you do (and FOLLOW through) Don't LET him dominate an adult conversation.

Answer 8

My 9 year old son is the exact same way.  You are an adult in his life, so therefore you can tell him to not argue.  You can ask him politely, "please don't argue with me" and then change the subject.  Ask him questions that leave no room for an opinion what so ever.  If he voices his opinion, and you disagree, don't engage in a debate, simply say, "wow, I never thought of it that way." and once again, change the subject.  You should consult him about matters, get his opinion on dinner, small things.  Ask him which he would like, spaghetti or chicken, or salad or broccoli.  If he feels important, as if you are coming to him for information and "power" over the small things, it might fill that need in him and curtail some of the "know it all" attitude.

Answer 9

unfortunately it is a phase. It is ugly and drives me crazy. 10 is not any better. It does need addressed. I wish I could give you some wonderful advice that would make it go away. When my son acts like that I just tell him (every 5 min.) I am not going to have him talking back and argueing. He is sensitive also. Maybe because they are sensitive it helps them not to feel so insecure when they don't know something. Good luck! If you find a good cure all let me know.

Answer 10

Ask him how to spell: the full name of titin. It has well over 189,000 letters! When he says "t i t i n", let him know that the true hame has thousands of letters.

Answer 11

Sounds pretty typical of a 9 yr. old boy.  I think he sounds like he's just maybe trying to control some things in his life- where in other areas he has no control.  It's hard for kids to go to other houses like that, even though he loves his Dad, he probably has alot of adjusting to do when he arrives and when he goes back home.   Kids always hear other adults talk about gas prices, etc. and think that they have made their own opinion on it.  9 yr. olds will also try to act a little more grown up when they really aren't.  Sounds like you're already trying to be patient- I would just keep at it.

Answer 12

Your stepson is being a normal 9 year old boy.   If you're getting sick of his behavior that is kind of your problem.  Why make it more of an issue that it is.  This is a phase he will outgrown the further into puberty he gets.  

Answer 13

If you answer all his question's, he will probably keep on doing his acting he already knows it. So, if ask another question like that, tell him to go online and look it up. So, that way he will not act like a know-it-all.