How to deal with a sociopathic ex-son-in-law?

Question

my ex-son-in-law is in and out of my grandkids lives and always messes their heads and hearts up during the out time. He has a kid with his current wife and his latest mess was to cause permanent breathing issues for this kid by treating their home after a pest control service had already treated... with knowledge it would make his kid sick. He intended to make his kid sick and then sue. How sick is that?!!! Anyway, he does stuff like this all the time and no one has been able to really "catch" him and "prove" he does any of the stuff he does (this isn't the first, just the last in a list of many) and he brags about his activities to people who aren't willing to rat him out,so how does one go about turning him in so he does no further harm. He has been accused of criminal sexual conduct of 2 boys and barely scraped out of that. The list is too long for here. I think he fits the sociopath bill to a tee.... he does nothing for anyone unless he benfits, he has no concsience.

Answer 1

your daughter has the keys to do something...is she the legal custodian? She , more than you can change things or bring concerns to the court...Now if you are the guardian by all means get a report going with children services...actually anyone can report alleged abuse

Answer 2

It must be tempting to take out a contract on the guy, but that's illegal unfortunately.  The custodial parents needs to go to court and get a restraining order against him so he has to stay away from the ex and the kids.  The ideal situation would be move away with the kids and not let anyone he knows where you've gone.  They deserve a healthier life and only you, the adults, can give it to them.  Since this isn't likely to happen, you'll have to just continue to use all the tools available to you to keep him out of the kids' lives.    With a little luck, he'll mess up so badly he gets put away for a good, long time.

Answer 3

He's not a sociopath.  He's a psychopath.  Have you called the Child Abuse hotline in your area and spoken to them?  Can your daughter move for sole custody (assuming they have joint) and with supervised visitation?  I think the first step would be to speak to the child and family services department.  Good luck!

EDIT:  Isn't the child support order being enforced by the courts?  If so, can't the support payments be deducted automatically from his check?  Does your daughter have any attorney?  If not, she really needs one.  Also, the children need an advocate.  Have you considered putting them in counseling?  My girlfriend is dealing with the very same situation you are and her children are seeing a children's therapist.  A few times, the therapist has had to go to court or provide a written statement stating the effect their father's antics have had on them and how she feels, in her expert opinion, that the children's best interests would not be served by _______________ (fill in the blank).  They may also need to seek mediation on the visitation schedule.  My girlfriend's soon-to-be ex also had the idea of taking the kids over summer vacation so he wouldn't have to pay support, but the mediator nixed that.  He can have them for two weeks during the summer, but not consecutive weeks.  Considering this is the kind of guy she is dealing with, you all will need to make sure you keep careful records of EVERYTHING.  That's what my friend does and these records have been very helpful to her in court matters.  Also, her soon-to-be ex seems to back down somewhat when he's confronted with things like receipts, tax records, printed out e-mails, etc.  She records everything ... the times he picks up the kids, when he drops them off, where they say they went, etc. and she also saves all e-mails, all voice mails, all receipts.  In short, every single thing.  Unfortunately, that's what you need to do when dealing with this manipulative and sneaky.

Answer 4

you have got to get those kids out of there. I really am worried about this, because this is really similar to my situation with my moms bf. Its over now, and I have so many mental scars from all of that. I have anxiety and depression problems because of that. I personally could not bear to know that the kids are going through the same situation and living with it. They need out now, call 341- KIDS, they have got to get out of there before something else happens that could scar them for life.

- the reason why this man is doing this is probably because of a past history, a history of abuse or neglect, a history of not having a father to be there for him, so he wasn't raised properly. He needs help, like counseling too...

-but i'm really concerned about those kids, get them out... i'm praying for you guys. You may be their only hope.