How to deal with a stepson?

Question

my stepson is rude and shows me no respect and his father doesnt see it he thinks im just picking on him and it causes arguments between us he is polite when hes about but when hes gone he is a brat from h**l im at my wits end any help out there?

Answer 1

Get it on a tape recorder. Don't let the stepson know about it.

And don't lead him into an argument.

Then when hubby gets home have him sit down you want him to hear something. Make sure the stepson is there too.

Then play it for him and see what he says about that.

Answer 2

get  nanny cam. better yet, tell your husband to buck up and deal with it, or you won't be alone with him.

Answer 3

Tell your man what a brat he is and if he can't respect you your never going to keep him again tell him he can take the brat with him or a babysitter

Answer 4

get one of those small audio recorders.  put it in your pocket when your husband is not around and record his disrespect..  play the tape back to your husband and show him how his son really acts.  

Answer 5

Hi...

Step kids are difficult sometimes, because they have gone through so much.  If you really examine the situation, you will probably find that your step son is feeling abandoned by one or both of his parents.  

I'm assuming your husband and your step son's mother are divorced.  Most kids take divorces very hard and do feel as if they are shoved aside.  Then, when a step parent or new partner comes into their parents' lives, they can feel abandoned all over again.

It's not your fault.  Your step son's parents need to spend quality time with him and take an interest in his life... one on one time together is one of the best things a parent can do for his child.  Also, making sure the child's emotional needs are met... parents forget to ask a child how their day was, or how they are feeling or if anything is bothering them.... sometimes parents just assume everything is ok without looking at the big picture or the child's "disrespectful" behavior.

Sometimes negative attention is better than none at all... especially in the eyes of a child.  So they act out to get some sort of attention from their parent.

Your husband might consider spending quality time with the child... and do things for him on a consistent basis.  YOU are NOT the parent, so if you are fixing all his meals, and doing all of the typical parental things for him, it might be a bad idea (at least for a while).  The child NEEDS his father's care and nurturing... so it's probably time for dear old dad to learn how to do some day-to-day things for the kid.

If all else fails, the child, along with his father can seek help with issues in therapy.  It really does work when both people work it.

Step kids don't owe step parents respect... respect is earned.  If this child is disrespectful, just let him know you're sorry he feels that way, and go about your business.  You don't have to bend over backwards to gain respect or give til you're blue in the face.  If you treat him with some modicum of respect, you'll get it in return eventually.  It takes effort and consistency.

take care.

Answer 6

he will have to respect you...simple as that.  talk with your husband again...seriously.  even if your husband doesn't see it, he should be willing to assist you because of the fact that you feel this way.  if not, then you guys really need to sit down and talk about a lot more than a rude stepson.