How to deal with an EXTREMELY naughty 2 year old?

Question

i watch my niece once a week as a favour but she really tries my patience.

she is so cheeky - everything is no.

she is destructive - she tries to damage things in my home, my daughters toys, anything she can get her hands on.

at times she can be violent - rarely with adults, mostly with my daughter as she is smaller than her, my daughter is 10mos.

ive tried all i can think of, i put her in the travel cot with no toys (naughty step would never work). i make her apologise. i shout at her. i take thing from her. i talk to her to try and explain what she done wrong and why its wrong. but nothing - no change,

my nephew has autism - so we know she isnt exhibiting signs of that , but im at a loss as to how to deal with her.

her parents arent consitent. they smack her for something one day, then let her off with the same thing the next day - ive spoke to them about this but it falls on deaf ears. but she needs to know acting like this in MY house will not be tolerated.

Answer 1

She is only two, she learns what she has been taught in the home.  You are blaming her for her parent's short comings regarding her discipline.  Yelling at her and lecturing her is not going to get you anywhere...again she is only TWO, she is NOT a mineature adult, she is a TODDLER and doesn't understand the concept of what you are talking about.  Her behavior isn't her fault, her parents are obviously enabling it with their lack of discipline and lack of consistency and abuse (smacking her is abuse).  All I can suggest is since you obviously have no control over her or yourself (yelling/lecturing) that you cease watching her.  Maybe then her parents will have to put her into a more structured environment like a day care where there IS consistency and they don't hit.

Answer 2

Then u will have to watch SUPER NANNY,,,

will basically this show teaches you how to handle kids,,

take away her fav toy when she is naughty, when she do the right things give her a sweet

Answer 3

You are fighting a losing battle, all children no matter what age need stability,and consistancy. Believe it or not your niec e has already learned how to bend both ends toward the middle so to speak. She knows that though you may discipline her for her actions chances are that she will get away with it with mom or dad, so you are nothing more than a mean grown up that shouts at her and takes her toys away. She needs to know that you and her parents are all on the same team and enforce the same rules, otherwise not only will she continue to act this way but her behavior may even get worse. Stick to your guns though, even if you have to be the bad guy at least she will know that her aunt will bust her butt if she gets outta line.

Answer 4

since the parents aren't being consistent it's going to be hard to see much change from her at your house.

All I can say is just keep doing what your doing, eventually she'll realize that you're not gonna put up with the same c**p her parents do and start behaving.

If this goes on for too terribly long then I'd consider having a sit down with the parents and figuring something out.  If they refuse to talk with you then you may have to get harsh with them and say something like, "well then I'm sorry but I can't watch her anymore".

If the parents start working harder with her and she still doesn't improve then it may be a psychological issue in which a doctor would need to become involved.

Best of Luck to you!

Answer 5

Since she is your niece, spanking is not an option.

You have to be consistent and clear. I would fix up a place or room in my place where there is little there, but where I could watch her. When she misbehaved, I would put her in that room/place with increasing penalties for misbehaving. And, no matter what her screams were, I would leave her there -- at least by her screaming, you know she is still living ;-)

When she misbehaved, I would remind her of the consequences of the behavior and tell her that it was her decision if she wanted to stay in the place/room all day.

Bascially, you don't have a lot of options if you want to continue to keep her. But, if you are consistent and carry out the consequences of her actions, then she might slowly change...

Answer 6

She sounds like a normal 2 year old to me. Why can't she play with your daughter's toys? Is it because you keep them from her all together, or because she tries to destroy them? Show her how to use the toys properly. If she hits or throws them, tell her the toys go in time out until she is ready to play nicely with them. It is natural for her to be curious about a 10 month old - she's a baby. All 2 year olds love babies. But if you are giving your baby more attention, that "love" is going to turn to jealousy and she is going to try and hurt the baby. Show the 2 year old you love and care for her - do NOT yell at a 2 year old. That is so counterproductive!

Keep her busy and she will not misbehave. If she still DOES misbehave, then the naughty chair for two minutes should help. Be consistent with her, but stop being so MEAN... use NICE words and NICE touches with her - of course she's used to being rotten if her parents SMACK her... at age 2?! They need some parenting classes, it seems!!