Question:

How to deal with an obsessive mother?

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I am nearly 20 years old and my mother still thinks I am 10. (She once called the police when I lived in the dorms because my cell went dead and she hadn't heard from me in 24 hours.)

I am VERY independent, I am spending my last summer at home as I am moving into my own apartment for my next semester of college. I will be paying my own bills with a private loan I got that she (or anyone else) did not co-sign for. I am preparing to purchase my first car, a land rover when I go back to school.

My plan is to go to my school town, about 5 hours from here, sign my lease and get a car...then drive the car back here and move my clothes and things myself (I'm buying furniture in my school town) but my mom is advising me against it because:

1. She simply wants me to stay at home.

2. She thinks everyone is a serial killer and somehow I will be murdered while looking at apartments.

3. She doesn't think I know how to drive well enough (I've been driving for about 4 years now).

4. She doesn't think I am going to be able to make it on my own!

I know that I am responsible and resourceful and capable of making all this happen. It just seriously hurts me to feel that I don't have my mother behind me in the decisions I am making. Trying to tell her this gets me no where, at the end of the day she feels like she knows best and I know nothing about life.

Should I not care and continue with all my plans, or is there a way for me to get her to see that I am not a dumb kid anymore?

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2 ANSWERS


  1. You have the right to continue your plans. I mean you're legally an adult. Maybe your mom has heard bad stories about people moving out or had bad experiences herself. My mom was worried of me getting a driver's license because of the high rate of car accidents caused by teenage drivers. I assured her by saying I eventually will need a driver's license and the experience will help me become a better driver in the future. You can try telling your mother that moving out will benefit her.


  2. have you ever had a seriouss talk with your mother about how her obsessivenesss is degraded your quality of life? Maybe its time?!?

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