How to deal with an overbearing boss or co-worker?

Question

I am the HR Manager at a recycling firm with around 175 employees. I have been with the company since we only had around 60 employees.

We've recently been acquired by a large steel corporation and instead of being completely autonomous, I now have dotted line reporting to an HR Director at one of our new sister companies and I can't stand her. She looks over my shoulder and monitors everything I do and is consistently very rude. I created the HR Department at this company which was nonexistent before I joined the team and now I have an equally experienced HR Director from another company treating me as if I'm a child.

It's quite a change going from the only HR professional at the company and being a stand alone facility to being a part of a large corporation and having to always wait for answers from the top instead of making the all of the decisions and work with people you don't get along with.

Does anyone have any tips on how to keep my sanity and adjust to this situation?

Answer 1

You appear to be disappointed with the present situation and I sympathise with your predicaments.

Yes - you can come out with grace without any compromise.

Initially try to ascertain what irks her when she reacts to your workings. Is she a spinster? What is the age difference between you two - is she senior by age than you? There may be some frustrations within her that makes her overbearing.

Try to probe little by little her activities behind the working scope of the office atmosphere. Her family background is essential to be known. You will receive a clue and develope the same to your advantage.

Try an appear to be a normal executive and do not let her feel that you are not happy to carry out her directives or the line of action suggested by her. She is accostomed to be after you than change the sequence by you be after her for every petty matters. She may feel rejoiced.

Recommend her at every opportunity to your seniors or her seniors. Elevate her and than she will confide in you bit by bit.

Forget what you did and achieved at your office especially in front of her. At her rudeness just a brief smile will unnerve her. Do not let her feel that you are subdued by her torments.

Elevate her, Elevate her and she will be elevated to a better post and you may step into her place with grace and forbearance's.

Above all do not loose your confidence and your contentions.

when able appear unable - when close appear distant.

You are sure to overcome this phase.

You deserve all the good luck and wishes.

Answer 2

summit there application to a better company, hopefully they call and offer him a better deal and he jumps ship problem solved.

Answer 3

I';ve seen this sort of thing go in both directions.  Sometimes, the company will see the wisdom of treating employees with respect and let that horrid HR person go and promote the good one.  Other times - if the company is more inclined to treat their human resources / employees as something to be kept in line, they might actually prefer the other person's management style.  If I were you, I'd look to how the company responds to that person and to you.  If they seem to respect you more, stick it out, otherwise, it might be best to begin looking.  Mergers, as you know, lead to the chopping of heads.  I'd be surprised it they kept both HR heads for more than a year or two.

As for the actual question, I try to not let it bother me.  If I simply must tell the person off, it's best to be subtle, witty and graceful about it.  I once had a boss who would constantly refer to her advanced degree in "management," while having all the people skills of a Tazmanian devil on a full moon.  One day, I sweetly asked what she'd written her thesis on.

"Why?"

"Oh, I don't know.  Just interested."

She hemmed and hawed for a minute before confessing "Vending machine management."

Well, this was beautiful!  I couldn't help it:  I just said "Not a lot of people in that, are there?"

She was really mad, but it was very satisfying.  She was eventually fired.

Answer 4

Unfortunately this happens a lot with mergers.  I had to deal with a similar situation, and I finally came to the point where I asked for a meeting.  We were able to hash out some differences, and things did change for a bit... but in the long run I was not able to get past the differences that were created, not to mention the different office politics that had been created.  I ended up leaving after 20 years, and started working from home as a statutory employee.  Even though things were very scary for me in the beginning, the transition took about 6 months and it was the best thing that ever happened to me!  Things happen for a reason, and sometimes we just need that boost to get us moving in a different direction.  I would first try talking with your HR director and see if there is some sort of resolution that you can come too.  You have to remember that "crystal balls" do not work all the time, and if you don't put it out on the table, the other person might not have any clue what you are thinking.  At this point, it doesn't seem like you have anything to lose.  

Boy... I sure don't miss those days.  Good luck to you!

Answer 5

>> She looks over my shoulder and monitors everything I do and is consistently very rude.

Move your desk so your back is to the wall with very little space.

Eat 5 Alarm chili for breakfast, and lunch, or eat at Johnny Carino's Country Italian, lots of garlic.

Send her an anonymous gift subscription to a g*y magazine to her work address.