How to deal with an "overly interested" boss?

Question

I haven't been doing so great lately, and I lined up an appointment with a psychologist. I had to go to the office and drop off the paperwork in order to get an appointment. They are open the same hours as the office I work in. I don't normally take a lunch break, just 2-3 short (very short, like 3 minutes) breaks during the day.

When I went to drop off my paperwork, I asked the boss if she had anything that needed to be delivered. She asked where I was going. I simply replied with the name of the road the doctor's office is on.

"Why are you going there?"

When I tell her that I am dropping off papers at my doctor's office, she says "There's no doctors on that road! Where are you going?!"

So I finally tell her - I'm setting an appointment with a shrink, alright? This prompts her to actually ask if it's her! I tell her it's just my life, and I'm dealing with it. Don't worry about it.

And she says that she won't push me anymore about it.

She keeps asking, week after week, how it's going. Now, I've only been to one appointment so far. My next is one is a week from today.

The first time she asked, I was highly irritated, and kind of snapped.

Today, I say I need to take a lunch to go to the store. She suggested 11:00, but my prescription won't be ready until 12:00, so I ask to go then. I told her this via email. Then I get "Why 12:00? Do you have some kind of appointment? Do you have an interview somewhere else?" I tell her, no, my 'scrip won't be ready 'til then. She responds back "YOU ARE ON MEDS NOW???!"

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So I tell her "Yes. YAZ. Birth control."

Now... if I'm ever anything but completely open and friendly with this lady, she gets nasty. She punishes me.

Regardless of laws and being legally entitled to a lunch, if I go, I get punished. Not reprimanded, mind you. Keep in mind also, I don't get paid for my lunch hour I work through every day. But she won't say anything at all, or complain.

She will simply line up people to show up at the office at 5 minutes 'til 5:00, to keep me here late, unpaid. She will pass on all her work and let me run myself ragged while she surfs the internet. She will go to the big bosses and say I'm being mean to her and I hate her and I'm trying to get her fired.

This is what happens when I try to keep to myself and keep my personal business personal.

Anyone have some ingenius idea as to how I can keep my personal (and at times embarrasing) things to myself without insulting her and inflicting punishment on myself?

Answer 1

I would suggest that you tell her (the next time she asks) that you don't feel comfortable disclosing your personal information to your boss.  Thank her for her concern, but you must simply refuse to tell more.  Perhaps, when you're getting a script filled or an appointment, just be going out.  Leave it at that.  If she presses, remind her that it's a personal trip - not on company time.  

best of luck

Answer 2

You need to set boundaries.  There was no reason she needed to know where you were going on your own time.  Now she is using the information you provided against you.  Assuming you're bonkers and on meds.  You need to speak to someone in HR, assuming you have an HR dept.  This is unprofessional on her part and someone needs to speak to her.  I would suggest you start packing your bags and looking for another job on your own time without telling her because you will not be able to separate your work and private life working for her.  She "owns" you in her eyes.  

Answer 3

If there is a Human Resources department, go to them and tell them that you are being made to work unpaid overtime at lunch and after hours.  Tell them that when you do have time off for breaks, you are on your own time and you should not have to report your whereabouts to your boss.

Tell them that your boss continues to ask intrusive questions about your private medical affairs.

If there is no HR department, tell your boss's boss.

If the wage and break violations continue, file a wage claim with your state labor board.

If there is any retaliation for any of this, file a complaint with your state labor board.