How to deal with being raped

Question

a few years ago i was raped by my older brother. he just recently got aressted for the crime as i never told anybody about this until about a month ago. now im still afraid and scared for life. i am attendting severe councelling and have people explain to me its not my fault but ya. anyway this is how it happend(warning its pretty disgusting)

its just me and him home alone one day. he comes in my room in just his boxers while im watching tv. he bites my toe and says i bet you like that you foot fetish slu*, and i laughed and so did he. and he was just playing around with me. until he pulled out a knife( it was down his boxers) now i ofcourse got scared. he then said to me alexis take off your fu*k*ng clothes so i did. he then removed his boxers, and put the kinfe to my throat and forced himself inside of me a few times. he then not only vaginally raped me he did it to me analy. he also slighly cut my bum and v****a(very minor cuts didnt require stiches thou they did hurt) he then put the kinfe againt my throat again and touched my genitals and breast numerous times.

anyway how long until i forget about what he did to me, how long until i can be intimate with a male and just how long will he be in jail. he did this to me more then once my brother btw. and also he moved out a year later and hit the streets as he became drug adicted.

Answer 1

It will take you a while to get over what he did to you, but I assure you it is possible. If you are up to it get out there and find your self a good guy you can really trust and spill your thoughts and feelings into him. I know it helped my girlfriend ( she was raped) out a lot. Not all guys are bad.

Answer 2

What he did was truly wrong, and believe me he is and will pay for what he did, in fact he is paying right now. but thank god that you are alright and willing to stand up and tell what he did to you, iam so sorry, that happen to you. but be string, i know it is hard at times, but you must know that you are more than a conquer, you are a survival. try to pick up the pieces and move on, i know that it won't be easy. but you can do this. you will get your self esteem back as well as your life. i know right now you can't forgive him, but as a child of god. you will eventually have to forgive him. so that you can move on with your life. iam not saying go and find him and say that. that is not what i mean, i mean forgive him in your heart, ask god to help you forgive him. that way you will not be harboring any bad feelings that keep you from seeing or being with someone else. don;t worry you will survive this , you are stronger then you think. my hats is off to you. you are truly to be admired for having such courage as this. so do the right thing and get yourself straight with god, because that is all that matters to you right now is god. ask him to help you overcome these obstacles in your life. so may god deeply bless you and i will be praying for you..

Answer 3

sorry about what happen..

you will never forget what happen to you.. but it is your choose to deal with it the way you want to. if you let it run you then that is what will happen you will have a miserable life. don't let it run your life g.f you only got one .. take charge of it. what happen in the past can stay in the past.

you will find a right man when your ready to let your wall down till then no one here can say how long it  will take.. only you know...

you need more will power on this matter, you cant let your brain control your life.. take your life back and for now set your past aside. live life like it never happen cause the more you  talk about it the more you make your self depress and that is all mind set that depression...

i was raped when i was 13,so what i am telling you is what i have done. and i am married now with kids and all.  just remember it is your life.. you choose how to live it. not any one else.

Answer 4

well im really sorry,

but all i can say just get back up and be strong, i know it will be hard but just pull ur self together and go on with ur life. Dont let this pull u down

Answer 5

That sounds terrible, and I know it is beyond that for you.  I'm glad that you are in counseling, and I encourage you to get as much help as you need.  Rape is a really serious thing.  I would suggest finding a website where women who have been raped can talk to each other and chat.  Being able to talk to someone who has gone through the same thing can help a lot of people.  The most important thing is to be open about it, and not keep all your feelings inside.  I'm not familiar with Criminal justice, so I don't know how long he will be in jail, but I would suggest getting a restraining order if you are worried about him hurting you again.  As for being intimate with another male, that's all up to you.  Sometimes, women who are raped won't ever have s*x again because it only brings back memories, but the most important thing is to control your fear, and don't let this experience have a devastating effect on your future relationships and life in general.

Answer 6

One of the worst fears we women have is being raped, but when it happens it just worst than you could have possibly imagine. First I want to congratulate you for being so brave to finally tell. Second I want to tell you that you are not alone, many women have suffered these abuses. Counseling is good, so you can let out all the feelings you have been keeping for all these years. You should also have a support group, this makes you realize that you are not alone and just by listening the process these women have gone through to heal these wounds is very comforting. It's going to be a long and hard process, how long until you forget? I'm sorry to tell you, but you will never forget. But part of the process is to forgive, many women who had this horrible experience, create a sense of guilt, that perhaps it was because of their fault that they were raped. In this scenario if you feel guilty you'll have to learn to forgive yourself, and eventually your brother, of course this part of the process is one of the hardest. Find a hobby in which you can let out your anger, something like kick boxing or so. You'll be able to be intimate with another male when you realize that not all men are the same, that not all men are like your brother, this might take years to realize. Focus on yourself right now, try to get on with your life, one day you'll wake up and realize you're ready to let go.

Answer 7

if you're old enough, move away for a while, get involved with helping women who this has happened to, it might help. it worked for my aunt.

i'm sorry that happened to you. he's a sick f*ck and lame excuse for a parasite [he's worse].

Answer 8

oh my god is this for real?

did this seriosly happen to you?

im so sorry to hear but i cant believe this is all your brother. i mean that would be preatty scary. your brother must be really really dirty to rape his blood related sister how did your mom and dad take this? this would take time to go through this situation adn forget about it but try your best i am very sorry to hear about that and i hope you feel better.

Answer 9

First of all, I want to let you know how deeply sorry I am that this happened to you.

Also, I wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

I was sexually abused by my older brother for almost 2 years (he was 15 and I was 4). Of course I never reported it. I mean, he was my big brother, and I didn't know it was wrong (come on, I was 4!).

After he was caught molesting 2 other little girls as well as a little boy, my abuse came out. I was placed in play therapy until I was about 9. I went for a few years without needing therapy, but as soon as puberty hit, I began having problems again. I went back into therapy when I was 12 and have been in therapy ever since.

I have dealt with suicidal thoughts and attempts as well as self-harming.

I have also stayed in a few in-patient treatment centers, which seemed to help a lot!

I was fully "potty-trained" before the abuse, however I began having problems with controlling my bladder. To this day I occasionally have problems with wetting the bed because of nightmares.

I am now 18 years old, and am currently having individual therapy 2x a week as well as group and family therapy 1x a week.

I can't say for sure how long your healing process will take, however I do know that having others who you can confide in is a huge thing! If it weren't for my family and friends, I honestly would not be here today.

I don't know if this helps or not, but I wish you the best of luck in your recovery process! God Bless!