How to deal with boyfriends step mom... LABOR

Question

My boyfriend kept me from his family for quite sometime.. which now I know why! Hes not a very family oriented person we was only together for about 6 months when I got pregnant.. and I didn't meet his family until I was 6 months along.. his mom wasn't really around much when he was little and so his step mom practically raised him.. and his real mom has cancer and is pretty bad off.. so she isn't really around but his step mom.. ugh i just don't know how to take her.. I really feel like she treats my boyfriend unfairly compared to his step sisters and brother.. which of course are her children.. his dad has a VERY good job.. around 150,000/yr I won't go into detail because its to much but she isn't willing to help us out in anyway although she is willing to help out people that aren't even in her family! Like right now she has her son's friend, his wife and there child living with them and has been supporting them FULLY for 4 months now.. and she said she would be willing to give them 1000 to help them get into a place even though they blew there 900 rebate check.. but for my baby shower gave us a 50 gift card between her and her 2 daughters.. thats like 15 dollars a person.. this is his dads first REAL grandchild and those people aren't even related to her!.. and I just don't know how to take her.. she calls me and texts me ALL the time and wants me to do stuff with her..but when I am with her I feel like she doesn't even like me.. she makes rude comments and remarks all the time! like she wanted me to go to a concert with her but I'm 9 months pregnant! I dont even feel like getting of the couch which I barely can! So I have to make up reasons why I can't go with her because I have a very hard time telling people no it makes me feel really bad.. don't ask why I just do! like some of the rude comments is one time we went out to eat and she asked me where I wanted to go and I said I dont care.. and she said O I always wondered what type of girl it would take to be with Mike I get it now.. an easy girl! So then proceeded to call me easy the rest of the day like would say come on easy and while we was at the restaurant we saw my childhood best friends step mom who I guess she also knows and she even said to her.. well we found out today shes easy! To someone I have known almost my entire life! and she even said one time we only make cute babies so if it's not cute its not Mike's! She was even rude to my mom the first time she met her at MY BABY SHOWER! I dont know if she is "trying" to be rude but it makes me uncomfortable because I can't stick up for myself and it really hurts my feelings because she has no reason to be rude to me like that! And now she wants me to call her as soon as I go in labor and she wants to be in the room and everything.. I don't want her there! I mean I don't even think she likes me which I dont know why I'm really nice and I try to be sweet and stuff.. and honestly I barely know her I only met her 3 months ago I dont want her in there running her mouth and starring at my p***y but I just can't tell her I don't want her there either.. I want her to like me obviously and I don't want to be the bad guy and I couldn't tell her no even if I was paid.. I don't know what to do.. I'm scared her and my mom are going to get into a fight because my mom is completely opposite of me and cant wait to give her a piece of her mind and I don't want her there anyway.. What should I do? I mean I really dont think I could just say.. I dont want you there it sounds pathetic but its true.. what are some things I could come up with that would make a good reason for her to not be there?

Answer 1

Just don't call her when you go into labor, she will never know until you call her and say you've had the baby. If she makes a fuss about it, tell her everything was happening so fast and you didn't have time to ring anyone. You don't even have to explain yourself to her, your the one having the baby and if you don't want her there then you are the one that has the final say. Don't let this women intimidate you.

Answer 2

You don't have to make up any excuses for her not to be there. Usually a hospital will only allow 2 people in the room so why don't you have your boyfriend and YOUR mother? Just tell her that you want them in the room and thats it...if she continues to bug you about it then you will probably have to break down and tell her how you really feel. I think you are completely right to not want this woman around you during labor. I don't know what her deal is, i mean she could just be mean like that, but whatever her deal is, you don't have to put up with it. That was very hateful of her to call you "easy" like that. I mean, to say it jokingly the first time was one thing, but to keep repeating it, and in front of others was just plain disrespectful! I think that she doesn't take you or your boyfriend or this baby seriously enough. Maybe its b/c of your age..(I don't know how old you are) or b/c you and your bf haven't been together that long. But no matter what your age or status of your relationship that does not give her the right to act rudely towards you. Its like shes 'killing you with kindness" in other words she acts very nice to you, but in actuality you know she isn't as nice as she portrays herself to be, by the comments she makes and the things she does. Like i said, tell her you want (whoever you want) in the room and leave it at that, get your bf to tell her if you want. But if she nags you about it then you will probably have to tell her how you feel. That way she knows you are not going to put up with her BS. I know you don't want to be mean and you want her to like you but you have got better things to think about right now than pleasing her. If you keep brushing the things she does under the rug and putting up with her remarks then it will just get worse. Stand up for yourself. And have who you want in the room during labor, b/c you sure as h**l don't want her to ruin that memorable experience for you.

Answer 3

Don't call her, as the person above me said. This is YOUR time. It's that simple. And if she somehow finds out, make sure the nurses know she is not welcome. They will get rid of her.

And please, do yourself a favour and next time she is rude, tell her. It doesn't have to be nasty, just say, " you are being rude." simple. And if she puts down your boyfriend, say, "he is wonderful, don't ever say that again." Don't get into an argument. Show her you are made of tougher stuff. Be classy, she obviously isn't.

Answer 4

well it sounds to me like she is quit a handful as it is, and that is definitely something that you DONT need while trying to have your baby. I would simply say this "I do not know you well enough, and do not feel comfortable having you in my room while I give birth TO MY child. I will make sure that you are aware when the baby is born and you can visit than" If you do not be firm now than you never will. This is your baby and you can not let her walk all over you. Let your mom talk to her because you need someone else to help you, because you are going to be too busy being in labor that you will not have the will power to say what you want, so its a good idea to have someone else be your mediator and to make sure that things go the way that you want them too.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

either get your mum to tell her or make up a reason

like your only allowed to have 2 people in the labour ward and with your partner and your mum in there you cant have any more but kinda butter it up by telling her she will be the first one you call when the baby is born and she can come straight up

i have the same problem with my inlaws and they didnt stop treating me badly until i put my foot down

Answer 6

Don't let yourself be railroaded into this, simply tell her that this is a special time for you and babys father and that you simply want to be alone. I had to go through this with mr FATHER in law, told him this and he seemed to understand. not sure if this evil woman will but always worth a shot. If she doesn't seem to take the hint from you have your boyfriend STAND UP for you. The if all else fails, let your mom have a go at her, that will do it!! Good luck hon, take care and don't stress, in the long run ot really doesn't matter if she likes you or not, her "son" loves you!!!

Answer 7

she can demand all she wants, but it is your choice who to have in the labor room with you. Does your boyfriend know how you feel about her?

If he does I would just tell him that you want this to be a special time for just the 2 of you. If you want your mother in the room, tell him you want your mother there just in case he gets woozy at the site of the delivery . Most of the time the hospital only allows 2 support people in the room unless you have made prior arrangements to have a special room. On the day you deliver things should be about YOU and no one else.

Answer 8

Wow she sounds like hard work!

And she is being completey unfair towards the two of you and shouldnt be..but thats up to your dad to be able to talk to her about it. He needs to step in on the financial side- afterall, its his money as well.

As for her being at the Labour- just nod and "agree" to what she says for now and when it comes to the time of it happening, DONT ring her. If your dad isnt going to be at the labour then call him when the baby is born if this is possible. He will understand.

Otherwise, if your dad is going to be there then maybe you need to talk to him and let him know that you really only want your mum, dad and BF there, but she is more than welcome to wait in the waiting area if she wishes- she should understand that your parents have every right to be there, and it is your choice.