How to deal with crazy evil in-laws?

Question

My inlaws are HORRIBLE!!!! They loved me to death until my DH proposed. After that MIL just lost her mind! She did everything to make sure I didn't feel included in their family--including trying to kick me out right before he left for Iraq last year! She always says how much she loves me to my face but then to DH she says that he ruined their family by marrying me! FYI--i'm 26, DH is 24 and just got out of the military. I'm a very good Christian woman and I've done everything I can do to make MIL, FIL and his brother like me and accept me but they just can't let him go! They have their whole life wrapped up in him and what he's doing! Thank God that my DH sees what they are doing and protects me! The last straw occurred about 3 months ago and we have had no contact with them since then. His parents actually think he's at fault that their is a barrier between them but it's really them! I feel like I've ruined their family but the only thing i've done is fall in love with their son and treat him like a king! Seriously! He's spoiled rotten and I'm ok with that because he's worth it and he treats me the same! But i feel guilty that he doesn't have a relationship with them anymore! He is the one that cut off the contact and told me not to contact them either but i just feel like there is something i could do to make it better!

I know this was just a huge rant but i'm feeling so overwhelmed right now! Please Help!!

Answer 1

Exorcism !  

Answer 2

I can sympathize here. I don't get along with my hubby's parents either. We cut them out of our lives, do to the vicious jealous behavior of his mother. And when we get pregnant (for the first time) they are not to go near our child! EVER!

Answer 3

Don't feel guilty about having no contact with the inlaws, your husband loves you enough to put you first, just listen to him, it was his idea not to have any further contact with them, believe me, your husband knows them better than you, he had to live with them years before you guys hooked up. Sounds like his parents are control freaks and no matter what you say or do is not going to change them, they are the ones who obviously have issues, not you or your hubby.He's using the tough love approach, it might take weeks, maybe years, but after time goes by long enough, they will undoubtedly miss their son and or any hopes of seeing future grandchildren, its too bad for them they have to learn the hard way, their son is an adult, kudos to him for putting you first and ignoring their antics.Time and distance will soon tell the tale hun, you and your hubby just go about your daily lives and enjoy loving each other as much as you both do, :)

Answer 4

Listen to your man...it's his family and his decision to protect you. Or do you want him to side with them? I know you want everybody to just get along, but that family is being bullheaded, not you. Leave well enough alone and live your life with your husband, have a baby...have some more!

Answer 5

Your husband has made a decision to put his wife first.  Don't do anything to undermine him.  It will have to be his parents that have the epiphany and decide to change their ways.

Answer 6

Don't! I mean don't do anything to make up to your in-laws; you may just make it worse. It's best to stay away for a long while with no plans to go back any time soon. If time doesn't fix it, stay away permanently. You have no obligation to your in-laws but to show them respect whenever you meet and to let them have a relationship with their grandchildren. Your obligation is to your husband. It's always sad when people don't let their grown children go; you should be left alone to pioneer your own unit of the society, which his parents did when they got together. If his mother has been a single parent for a long time, that explains her attitude, but that's not your problem. Parents don't own their children, and when young adults marry, the older adults should give them ample room to be themselves and live their life the way they see fit.

Read Genesis 1: 27- 28 and 2: 23- 24. My prayers are with you.

Answer 7

I applaud your husband for being man enough to stick with his wife in spite of his parents.

Answer 8

If you've had no contact for 3 mos. why does it take so many exclamation points to tell the story? I'd advise a tranquilizer. Seriously.