How to deal with death, is my reaction good or bad?

Question

ok, my dad died recently and unexpectedly. i write depressing poems andi have changed a lot. i hang out with different people and i do different things. i'm in the 7th grade and no one else feels the same way i do. and it gets kinda sad. i think things have gone straight down from there. any advice? anyone with my situation?

Answer 1

Wow. I am so sorry.

Talk about this with friends you trust the most. It really helps. If you feel like crying, than cry. Do not keep your feelings bottled up. It'll only make you feel worse. Just remember all the good times you had with your dad. There are online support groups that may help. You could also read true stories about your situation online. that helps too

good luck.

Answer 2

well buddy my best friend went through the same thing you are describing, we played soccer together forever and he quit and started kinda not caring about things anymore, this went on for a few months until i stepped in and told him that death is a natural part of life, god puts us here for a certain time and takes us when he is ready. we all have a purpose here and i knew that his wasnt to sulk over his loss. he eventually started to accept this and decided that he can only make his father proud by doing good and accomplishing things that would blow his fathers mind, about 6 months after that he was 100 percent back to normal and making huge positive changes. we ended up winning the state championship and he made straight a's and had a huge scores on he college placement tests. so i think you are dealing with it in your own way but you have to accept that you will see him again one day but until then, make some awesome dreams become reality so he can watch over and be proud. life goes on and he will be watching your every accomplishment so make the best and give him a reason to be proud. I gaurantee he wouldnt want you to suddenly go downhill and make poor decisions. best of luck, things will get better just be strong

Answer 3

It's hard to concentrate when you're grieving.  You're probably lonely for Dad and have an empty spot inside.

It's natural to go through a time of grieving.  You can't expect others to know what you are feeling.  They have their own problems and maybe not enough energy to deal with anyone else's.  Often the sorrows others suffer are secret or at least invisible to others.

Go ahead and grieve.  Find someone you can talk to, your mom, a counselor, minister, teacher, sibling, friend, or...?  Talking does help.  So does hugs.  And remember and cherish the good times with Dad, the things about him you loved.  Find something constructive to do, some project to help take your mind off your troubles for awhile, to give your sorrows a rest.  Maybe a project that helps others.  Helping others can lift your spirits.  Take part in strenuous activity, maybe running.  That helps you to handle your sadness.  While you may weep at times, also find times when you can laugh or smile.  It's good for your healing.  

Give yourself time.  We can't rush time, but time is the best healer.  

Answer 4

My parents both passed away within the last 6 months, i feel exactly the same way as you and sometimes things just do not seem worth carrying on for.

                                                    But then i think of other members of my family and ask myself how would they feel?

Because i know both my parents who gave me all they could

would be saying to me live your life to the best of your ability

and make yourself proud, and by doing that i am showing the world how wonderful my parents were in making me the person i am today.

And in turn i know they would both be proud of me,and thinking this gives me the strength to carry on.

Answer 5

First of all let me say how sorry I am to read about your recent loss. This must be an extremely difficult time for you and readjustment to life is never easy after a major upheaval like this.

Your reaction is neither good nor bad to me. It is only your mind struggling to reconcile everything that is happening around you.

Try to focus on coming to terms with your grief & while you are doing that please google a short piece called Desiderata. It might help you a lot just now.

Once you have reconciled your grief try to focus on your future. You do have one & you need a career & money and to move on. This way you will be achieving everything you need to do both for yourself & in your Dad's memory. With very best wishes for now & your future. UK