How to deal with failures in life and rejection?

Question

I'm jobless for four months now, career always been a disaster, been rejected by women many times in my life, always have this phobia from catching diseases, been betrayed by the few people who were close to me. my family lives faraway and all they care about is to send them money in time. i'm in my late thirties and feel that my life has been a disaster with no accomplishments, kids or a person that really loves me. how to cope with these difficulties in my life and deal with them?

Answer 1

Well, I think everyone has been betrayed by people close to them at some point in their lives.  Sadly, that's what makes us stronger or that's what we hope because it just sucks!  I have just learned that you cannot really completely trust anyone else and have stopped expecting anyone else to do right by me 100% of the time.  And, let's face it, I get sick of being around people too, no matter how much I care about them.  We all need an emotional break from time to time.  If we give other's a break when they need it and not dwell on it, they will come back when they aren't pressured to.  I can't stand to be suffocated by a needy person and the only thing on my mind is GET AWAY FROM ME.  Make sure you have things in your life that YOU enjoy doing with or without other people - hobbies, working out, movies, whatever it is that YOU enjoy.  You will be happier and you will attract other people.  They may not want to do all the things you want to do, but so what.  You need different people for different reasons, no one person will fulfill all of the different aspects of your life.  

You are at an age where you should be past expecting your parents to be your everything - they have lives too and unfortunately some parents distance themselves from their adult children.  But, that probably comes from being told over and over to mind their own business, but when they finally do the "kids" don't like that either.  By the way, I just figured that one out myself and no longer feel angry toward my own parents for having lives too!

Most people at some point find themselves in a low spot like you are in now and only see all the negatives in their lives.  Start thinking positive and accept all the good you have going for you - do you have talents or are good at anything in particular?  If not, get moving and figure it out!  You don't have to be the best - only strive to please yourself and don't worry about competing with anyone else.  That is very liberating!  

Also, realize that maybe you have played a part in how your life has turned out - maybe it's not all "them," and you need to figure out what you can work on & change to make your life go better.  Do you have diagnosed or undiagnosed ADHD?  If you're not sure, look it up - sadly that causes problems in all areas of a person's life - social, emotional, work/school.  My child has it and it causes problems in all areas of life - we were adament that that was not the problem for a few years and tried on our own to curb the "strong will," but it's a psysiological problem in the brain that my own will cannot change without help - medication and counseling.  It's not an easy answer by any means, but if that's the problem you can do something about it.

Watch a good movie and do something fun for yourself tomorrow - take a walk/bike ride or something...it will get better!  Good luck, you're not alone by a long shot.  

Answer 2

BUILD UP COURAGE BY FACING PROBLEMS  [Prakash J. Shah]

Control your emotions if you wish to have greater power over others.  When you are very angry or some big injustice is being done to you, maintain dignified silence.

Move  in natural surroundings for long hours.  Try to find out ways and means to combat the cruel blows which are given to you by other powerful people.

Many  people win out in life because they refuse  to  admit even to their own selves, that they are defeated.

     The famous boxer even when he was tired and injured declared to the world, `I will fight one round more'. This attitude helped him to remain a winner.

     You can build up courage by facing your problems instead of avoiding them. Self-confidence and positive thinking can be your main tools.

     Every time you spend a rupee or money passes through your hands silently affirm to yourself: "This money will multiply and grow in manifold and will come back to me."

     No matter what obstacles stand in your way, let nothing  dim the  bright  dream  in  your soul.  Project  the  power  of  your creative mind and move ahead to attain your goals.

     Please  be assured, if you are struggling with the best  of capacities, if you are right - God will be so kind in sending you help from known and unknown sides - MARCH AHEAD.

Answer 3

Whatever you do, don't turn to drugs or alcohol. All you need is a friend who is willing to listen to you, and sympathetically help you. You can also go to a psychologist. The best thing I think that you should do right now, is to stop feeling so down, look toward the bright side. Find something that you know you can accomplish. That first accomplishment will make all of the difference, because it changes your mood from negative to positive. You just have to try, and try. Forget your families if all they think about is getting money from you. Tell them your situation and tell them to deal with it. They live far away from you, what are they going to do. You just have to keep trying. Don't look so depressed; fake being happy, because if people sees that you are happy, then they'll be friendly to you, and the more friendly people become to you, the more you'll feel accepted, and the more positive you will feel. Don't look sad all of the time if you're thinking people will be sympathetic for you; they'll pity you. Everyone goes through hard times. You just need to smile, think positively, get a friend, and maybe he/she will listen to you, and be there for you. It'll all work out eventually.

P.S When you apply for jobs, during the attitude questionaires, tell the employers what they want to hear, not the truth. Then fake it.

Good luck

Answer 4

Sometimes our outside life is a projection of what is going on in our minds. If you analyze your thoughts you might be surprised to find out that you've never thought highly of your life....you've most often than not visualized yourself failing and not being successful. You also have not opened yourself to other people and that is why you feel that you dont have anybody who loves you or cares about you.

Trade those negative thoughts right now for more positive thoughts. Start visualizing what your perfect life would look like. Start thinking in terms of what you want your life to be. What kind of friends do you want to have? What kinda woman do you want to be married to? How would you being successful feel like? Everytime thoughts of failure and rejection want to dominate your mind, turn them around and think what if people actually love me and I find that love of my life and become successful?

Life gives us numerous of second chances for do-overs. Every day you wake up is a chance to start anew. The past is what it was. You cant change that. Accept it for what it was. Instead focus on the present and improving it. Its not going to be easy, and its definately gonna feel weird initially since it will be a new feeling for you. Welcome it, let those feelings guide you to the new you.

Answer 5

I think you need to find something that makes you happy. I mean REALLY makes you happy when you do it. Even if its buying yourself something...treat yourself every once in awhile. Maybe you should get out there and try to meet a different type of girl. Maybe you are just talking to wrong ones. As for work, maybe find something that is just completely out of character and fun. Take you mind off of other things. Ive been there. No job. No relationship. No kids. I felt worthless. But I took some time for me...and found things i really liked and started getting out there and meeting people and having fun. I wish you the best really. Maybe you can try to join a group or something to meet with weekly or monthly. As for you family....i know its hard, but id stop sending them money. You can email me anytime you need to talk. :)

Answer 6

well for one, dont expect the worst in life because more than likely you will get it,  everything you just mentioned can be fixed or improved, take it one at a time, think of the things you do have, like are you healty? were the women that rejected you truly the type of women you would want to spend the rest of your life with? having a kid or a woman or a job doesnt make you an accomplished person, think of it this way, you are still young, most people dont really know what they want in life until their late thirties, you have no kids and no woman so therefore you are free to start anything new you want, look for any kind of job right now without expectations n hold on to it until you find the job you would really like, surround yoursefl by positive people and dont talk about anything negative, instead write it down, once you voice it out its like you are telling yourself these things awaiting for them to happen or get worse, and if your family just remembers you when they need something then is an awesome thing that they live far away!

Answer 7

The most effective way to deal with life's mishaps is to admit what you've done wrong. Even if the thing that happened is completely someone else's fault, you can always find things that you could have done better, to help the situation in your favor.

You control your own destiny and no one knows what's best for you but you. You can't make everyone happy, so you might as well do what you need to do to get by.

Answer 8

dont fail, dont get rejected