How to deal with four year old lier?

Question

My daughter just turned four and she is just a lier and I try and explain what a lie is and give her examples but I am not sure if she is getting it. My dad said when you were little if I caught you lying I would spank you and you learned but I am not to much of a spanker only when I have tried everything else and she has not recived but one spanking and that was for running outin the street. I don't want to spank her if she has no idea what she has done wrong but I know she lies and alot my boys where never this hard and when I did the example thing they got it but she is so much harder any suggestions?

Answer 1

my daughter was the same way. It took self consequence to get her to stop. I know it sounds bad but we set her up. She got into trouble for something she didn't do because "Someone else" lied and said she did. After her punishment was over we sat her down and explained to her that we knew the other person had lied and now she knows what it feels like to be lied upon. She has never told another lie until well now she's in middle school and almost a teen and boy it's like all that upbringing has just gone out the window. G/L

Answer 2

She gets it but she is stubborn. I had the same issue! Its frustrating i know. I wouldn't suggest that you smack her either unless she blatantly lies straight to your face and you have already asked her for the truth. (more than once!) I would suggest taking 2 of her toys away every time she lies. Starting with her favourites and working backwards. She will soon realise that lying doesn't pay off. don't forget to keep explaining why its wrong so she understands why you are taking her toys. I would put them in a black plastic bag some where she doesn't go so that she thinks they have gone 4 good. It worked for me and hang in there it doesn't last forever it just seems that way!

good luck.

Answer 3

I don't think she understands. Parents Magazine had a question very similar last month and the answer said that at four the child is just to young to comprehend lying versus the truth.

I have a four year old, myself. We have been catching my son in little fibs, like taking two cookies instead of one. I'll say "did you take more than one?" and he'll say no. So, I'll ask "how many did you really take?" If that doesn't work, I'll say, "can you count them for me?"

Instead of spanking her, just give it some time. Don't let her get away with the lies, just watch what she is doing. If you spank her for something she doesn't understand, it'll do more harm than good.