How to deal with husband's ex wife?

Question

My husband had a little daughter with his ex wife. According to the ex, he's nothing but a walking talking ATM machine to her. She constantly demanded monetary help from him, (her hours at work got cut, her car broke down, she needs couple hundred dollars to get it fixed, otherwise, she couldn't pick up daughter on time, etc, etc.) My husband always tried to help for obvious reasons. And I always supported him because the kid is innocent. But yesterday, the ex called him and asked him to take a day off on Friday because their daughter was sick, she could no longer take paid vacation days off because she used it all. Friday is not my husband's scheduled visit day. So my husband declined. She immediately called back and left a message on our answering machine saying "You are such a worthless loser, F you." and minutes later, she let her daughter leave a message saying "oh, daddy, I am in pain, I need you, I miss you." and right in the middle of the message, we could hear her on the background saying "Too God d**n bad, your father is dead."

Can we use these messages to against her in court? She also threatened to not let my husband see her daughter. Any type of advices would be appreciated. thank you

Answer 1

Save everything. Text messages, phone messages. I suggest recording actual conversations as well. As well as all phone coversations. When you two feel you have enough evidence on her go to the courts with it. Also if they have custody plan through the courts then she cant just take there daughter away from him. and if she does try make sure to note it all down, and take it to the courts as well. Also if he pays child support he then has no obligation to fix her vehicle, ect. Unless in the court papers. So for that, I would simply tell her is looks like she better get a better job.  

Answer 2

Yes, use that message in court. That lady is a terrible person. But, try not to get involved with it as it could get a lot worse (my husband's ex was reallu nuts too) take it from experience. Let your husband deal with the witch. Just support him, but dont talk to her, or share any type of communication with her.

Answer 3

Oh h**l yes, u can use those msgs,in court.Anything that is proof that shows that she's a conniving, manipulative wretch, u can by all means do so.I would if i were you, and make sure that she gets taken down for everything!GL hun!

Answer 4

Heck yes i would. I would push it as far as it could go. That woman needs to be stopped.

Answer 5

Consult a lawyer.

Answer 6

There's nothing you can do but wait for husband to get tired of ex pulling that c**p. He will, too. Mine did. He used to come running for a little whim, too. Just like yours my husband had more like a father/daddy savior relationship than a husband/wife with his ex. I know this sounds devias, but the more time he spends apart (not living with) with ex and daughter they will all grow apart and he'll quit wanting to help them as much. Also, as daughter gets older she'll become more like mother and that'll turn him off to wanting to help, too. Believe me, my brothers and I have all gone through this. Just keep smiling and ignore her- be patient, don't say nothing ugly, and sit back and watch and see that I'm right. Men are going to do more for the one that's keeps the loving a going. Just stay nice and let them all duke it out.

Answer 7

She is definitely using him that's for sure.  If I were him I would make whatever payments were made by the court and give her no more money.  As for the daughter she is in the middle and her mother is using her as a pawn.  My own sister did this to her ex husband and the child grows up confused and hated the dad when it was the mother's fault.  As for the tape on answering machine it can be used now a days in court.  When before it could not be.  So your husband will need to get a hold of his attorney to take her to court.

Answer 8

First of all I would say BRAVO to you for being a lady and working this out with your husband.  Extended relationships are part of our society  and a lot of women get twisted. You appear to have it under control and she sounds like a real *itch.  Yes, keep everything she does and says in a diary. Your husband and you should make a decision about the ATM thing - he pays child support and she needs to learn to live on a budget.  Inform her through a letter if she need additional assistance she is to go to the family court and have her support documents revised.  If necessary, you can hire a lawyer and everything that she needs could now be done through him.  Of course she will try to use the child against him but judges look down on this behavior so tell him to follow the book to a "t' and never say anything negative about the mom in front of his daughter.  She won't win this battle.

Answer 9

Keep that message for proof of her manipulations. He needs to cut her off from all money except for the child support.  If she needs more, then too bad.  She is on her own and that is where she wanted to be.  So sorry, so sad!  Yea, right!  Document EVERYTHING.  Even if she is 15 minutes late picking up her daughter.  Document everything she and the daughter says.  Document every scrape, bump and bruise on that child.  Document the conditions of her cloths and hygiene.  In the event you have to go back to court, you will be able to show that she is a manipulator and a liar and is coercing that child.  It will show how undependable and unstable she is and she will be ordered to make some changes or she will eventually loose custody.

Answer 10

Your step-daughter deserves a stable loving home.  Save these messages and take the psycho to court.  Get custody of the little girl and provide her with the home that she needs and is obviously not getting.

On the other hand, your husband's duties as a father do not end when he gives the child back to her mother.  If the child is ill and the mother can't take vacation, where will she put the little girl?  Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for your children, and this doesn't apply only to days that you have visitation.

Answer 11

OH HECK YES! I think you would be a fool not to!

Answer 12

Wow.  Sounds just like my husband's ex.  YES keep the messages.  What a disgusting b*tch.  I can't believe she's partially responsible for shaping this child's mind.  Sad.

Answer 13

yes you can use

Answer 14

Oh, man....I feel ill just reading this Sh*T!

Yes - save these recordings and schedule a meeting with your lawyer. This woman is not stable and this could be considered child abuse.

Document everything. Some states allow recorded conversations as evidence. The link is below.

Good luck.

Answer 15

It's your husband's responsibility to deal with his ex.  Divorce's are always final to the court, but not to the exes.  Unless he has been forced to pay alimony,  he has no legal responsibility to support his ex-wife.  I know that you love your husband and hate to see him dealing with his crazy ex's c**p, but you can only encourage him to deal with his corrupt ex firmly.  Right now, it seems that your husband is over extending himself for his ex and doesn't know how to stop.  Both of the issues you mentioned deal with the ex trying to manipulate your husband.  What's great is that it sounds like she's not trying to manipulate you.  

The court should be the last resort for dealing with any family issue.   They usually end up doing what two grown clear thinking adults could have done.  Your husband needs to set limits and manage his ex and his daughter, you should just try to support and encourage him in this endeavor.