How to deal with husband gone all the time?

Question

my husband travels for work a lot. He is in the military as been on a lot of deployments, he took these orders to be with the family more, but it seems like he is never here. I stay at home with the kids and I am very active with them. It is more at night when I tend to get stressed out. I know he is providing for our family but I get so upset when he calls me for 2 seconds to say hi and that he is going out to dinner with the guys he is traveling with. Just tonight we talked and I had to let him go because the baby was screaming and when I called him back he was at the the pool drinking a beer with his boss. I love staying home with my kids but I feel like I never get a break. I have tried to set things up with people I know to do a girls night but it seems like it never works out. It seems like every time he is done with his meetings he gets to do what ever he wants to do. I miss him so much I just feel like I am the mommy and the daddy. How do you deal with it?

Answer 1

My husband has been working out of town for the last 12yrs. He's usually gone 3wk and 1wk home but he has been gone longer. You know when I did the math it came to 9yrs gone and 3yrs home. It was very hard when our kids where little but at least they occupied me. Now that our kids are older teens they are gone and so is he. It's easy to say find a hobby and hang out with others and that you have to make yourself happy.Duh, sure the money is good and I certainly never thought we would be doing this for 12yrs. It gets harder no matter how many phone calls and text you do. I found that I was getting bitter because I still feel like a single parent. And the reality is that when they are gone that much you REALLY are! Then everyone's advice is to not talk about negative stuff that occurs at home or say how much you miss him. Ya, because he's having a hard time too. I know that mine does miss me and his kids but it doesn't make it easier when the water freezes, car breaks down and you get to handle ALL of these by yourself. You can ask others for help but that still won't change the fact that YOU had to do it without him. I have no solutions...Ever feel like your holding your breath until he gets home?? I have also been honest and open about how I feel but the reality is a pay check. You might think your situation is only temporary, after all I did. It's the day to day struggles that build a relationship. Oh, by the way..NONE of my sons ever want to work away from their families, these separations do have a major effect on our kids.  
My prayers are with every family that is enduring this-

Answer 2

Im not even a military wife - my husband is an IT consultant and something I have heard called "a road warrior" - unlike all of you, I did not sign up for this.  My husband got laid off and this was what he had to do to stay in the same salary range.  Im not jealous, in any way - I just hate being home alone all the time.  Our youngest just went off to college so in the process of raising a family, lost all my friends.....so you ladies who have built in support with your wife groups - take advantage of it.

Answer 3

If you find out let me know.  I feel the same way and it drives me nuts.  I am so tired of being the one who always has to be in charge.  I would love a dinner out with adults...and I do have them with wives clubs but I miss him terribly and it isnt the same.  I love the military and yes I chose this life but I  am tired of being the one who has no choice but hold the home front down.