How to deal with it............?

Question

There's this girl I've known for two years and we're best friends (we're 18). Anyways, she has a boyfriend (he's 22 and are friends a little more than a year) and I lately started having deeper feeling towards her. We lately started getting more physically attached to each other and quite a few people had asked us already if we're friends......

And no, she's not about to dump her boyfriend and she doesn't mind when our friends see her and I walk around holding hands or see us cuddle together.

I just can't deal with the fact that she has a boyfriend cause we get along so well and I know that she knows that I'm a lot better than him.

Then why would she stay with him and how do I deal with it?!

Answer 1

This is not a good situation. You need to back away from this girl and when she asks you why, you need to tell her because you love her like a girl friend and not just a friend and she has a boy friend so you don't belong in her life any more. She will either then decide if she is in love with you or her boy friend. You have to make it clear to her that she can't have you both. It has to be him or you.

Answer 2

Of course she's not about to leave her boyfriend - she's having her cake and eating it too. She apparently refuses to choose because you're allowing her to have two love interests - how nice for her! Obviously not for you.

I know you care for her deeply but understand that as long as she continues to decieve her boyfriend, she's showing you that she lacks respect for both of you - you as a friend and him as a boyfriend.

Let's say she does dump him and you're around. What's to stop her from being chummy with another "friend?" After all, you allowed her to two-time him.

Answer 3

You need to step back from this and really think about what is happening.  In your post, you state that you have begun to like her for more than a friend.  You also say she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend by culminating this 'more than friends' relationship with you.  It looks like she is showing you, even though you don't want to see it, that she cannot be trusted in a relationship to maintain faithfulness.  I doubt this is the type of relationship you really want in life.  You are better than her ... and if you are going to be better than him, quit messing with his girlfriend.  It isn't kind to treat your 'best friend' in the manner she is treating you.  I wish you the best, it has to be sad and painful to be going through this.