How to deal with loneliness, husbands a OTR Truck Driver!!!?

Question

My husband is gone on training, he'll be gone two weeks at a time, I've had trust issues with him in the past, and I'm just curious, do they have alot of time on their hands, when going through training, and if so what is the likelihood of unfaithfulness, I know men have needs and it's kind of scary!!!

Answer 1

During training, no....drivers typically don't have much time on their hands, as they are usually expected to "team drive" with the trainer.  All the companies vary, but chances are his body will be so tired and stressed out from trying to deal with the change in lifestyle, that s*x will be the last thing on his mind.  Being in a truck 24/7 for the first time is a huge shock to the body....you've got to re-learn how to sleep, eat, toilet and shower.  It's a lot of getting used to....almost like "boot camp" on the road.  

When he is done with training, and as he gets used to driving and learns how to manage his time, yes he may find himself with more time on his hands.  Still, after 11 hours of driving in all manner of traffic and weather, after dealing with shippers, recievers and dispatch and everything in between, MOST drivers just want a good night's sleep when they stop.  

Assuming your guy is basically a decent person, if he truly feels like he has a wonderful, warm loving wife who is understanding of his needs and is always happy to see him when he comes home, he'll be less likely to cheat.  I would highly reccomend you join a couple of online forums or email lists geared towards truckers, and trucker's spouses.  If you have never been a trucker, it is very hard to understand what we go through....and joining a forum online may help you get the picture.  If you know what kinds of things he's dealing with, it makes it easier to understand what's going on, if he doesn't answer the phone or forgets to call at the agreed-upon time, etc.  Try this link:

http://www.atruckerswife.com/

Get a good cell phone plan with unlimited mobile-to-mobile, and keep the lines of communication way open.  Ask where he's heading, how his day has been, where he thinks he might be going next.  Show a definite interest in his day. Be understanding if he's late calling you, or if he can't answer the phone.  Be understanding if he's busy and can't always talk much when you call....ask him when a good time is, and call him later.  If you've had a hard day or you need to discuss something important with him....do it when you know he's relaxed, able to listen, and not dealing with Chicago rush hour or something.  

Send him cute or s**y text messages during the day so he can read them at his convenience.  Heck- get a picture phone and send him s**y pictures of yourself!   Remind him what he's got at home, and let him know that you plan to jump his bones as soon as he gets home!  This way he'll spend more time thinking of you, instead of thinking about the S****y lot lizards.  You CAN keep the spice going in your relationship while he's on the road....if he knows he's got something great waiting at home, he'll be more likely to take care of his "needs" BY HIMSELF when he's away!  :)  

And always make him feel special when he comes home.  Cook his favorite meals.  Let him relax and unwind.  Clean the bathroom- yes, it sounds silly....but at one point I was a local trucker and my husband was OTR without me, and the biggest thing he appreciated was coming home to a home-cooked meal and a spotless, clean bathroom!  Those are 2 of the major things a trucker can NOT find on the road!!  

If you need him to make repairs or do chores around the house, let it wait until he's had a day to relax.  Don't fall into the trap that so many women do, and hit him over the head with every problem that's arisen during his absence, the minute he comes through the door.  You'd be suprised how many women do that- and then they wonder why their husband can't wait to get back on the road.  

Basically, your husband is doing a difficult, hazardous job to support you and your family.  He won't get much appreciation from his bosses, from shippers/recievers, from the DOT, and certainly not from other folks on the road.  But if you make sure to let him know he's appreciated and valued, it will help make it all worthwhile.  Most likely, he's doing this so he can help YOU....and he wants to know you appreciate him.  Good luck :)

Answer 2

grow up truck driving is hard work your trying to earn adoller to take care of your family and your worried about him cheating sounds like you have 2 much time on your hands grow up

Answer 3

I don't have a lot of experience w/ Truck Drivers, but I can say that you should just keep your eyes open for change in behavior.  I know that having issues w/ trusting him in the past is going to play on in your head, but like the other person said, you can't let yourself worry too much unless you have REAL reasons/ signs that he may be cheating.

If he has a lot of time on his hands, does he have a laptop computer? You two could chat while he's on the road (and maybe you can seduce him online to keep him excited over you :)).  I know a truck driver that uses the wifi internet at the truck stops, etc. for his laptop...

Answer 4

My man is a oil rigger and sometimes is gone for 3 or 4 weeks at a time.  We have been married for 31 years and I have learned something during that time.  Men are human... have faults and vices just like women.  Mine says during all that time he has never cheated on me.  I believe him.  But other women haven't been that lucky.  YOu just have to play the cards that life deals you hon.  My grandmother who had been married 3 times.. one ran off, one died and finally she married a man just for convience.  The last one is the one that lasted.  She told me once that if a man is gonna cheat, he will find a way on a deserted island.  If he is gonna do it, he will no matter where he is or what he is doing.  

For your own sanity... you just can't be worring about this all the time.   Life is too short to spend it worrying about what another is doing.  Be alert and know warning signs but otherwise relax and live your life.  Take care of yourself and any babes you might have.  Keep communications open between you and your mate and be alert.  Good luck.