How to deal with mother in law?

Question

My mother in law is quiet and difficult to talk to. She likes my sister in law better than me and it really shows. and it hurts a lot. It seems the harder I try to make her like me, the more she doesn't connect with me. sigh. help a girl out?

Answer 1

Quit worrying about impressing her and just make your husband happy. You married him, not her. If she's so selective she's a waste of effort.  Just be nice to her when you see her or talk to her and quit trying so hard. Sometimes trying too hard pushes a person farther away.

Answer 2

Maybe you're trying to hard to make her like you..try just being  yourself , if that doesn't make a difference then you just have to except it. There is the possibility she does like you but as she is a quite person maybe she can't show it. Don't get to stressed out over this ...in time things might change...continue to be a pleasant, helpful, thoughtful, kind daughter in law.

Answer 3

stop trying. i'm not saying to be rude or uncivil, but dont go out of your way to be nice. personalities conflict at times but if she cant be nice then dont worry yourself. talk to your hubby and try to get his insight as to what the prob might be and see if something can be done if you feel its worth it.

Answer 4

that is the hardest thing to go through... but dont pay any attention, maybe after awhile she will warm up to u.. or idk.. maybe find something u have in common with her and talk to with that and if there is nothing... idk.. just ignore her.. show to her that u dont care and that u can go on without her..

Answer 5

Kick her in the face, then she'll listen more often than not.

Answer 6

I kind of felt the same way when I was first married.  I have a sister-in-law that has been in the family longer than myself.

The worst thing you can do is ignore her.  It's only because you really don't know each other.  I bet she feels the same way.  It always discourages me when the blame is placed on the mother-in-law.  Any relationship takes time and effort to form.  It is no different with a mother-in-law.

The more conversations you strike up with her the easier and better it will become.  If you don't know what to say ask how some of the relatives are doing. Even if you really don't care.  She will be happy that you are making an effort to be part of the family.  Ask her for recipes or advice or maybe just what she thinks about something.  Whether you chose to use any of it is up to you but she will feel good about it.  Invite her over for dinner or you all go out.

It is thirty years later and she passed a couple years ago.  We were very close by this time.  In fact I am the one she asked assistance from when she was unable to do things for herself towards the end.  I was honored she asked me even over her own daughters.  

Have patience and don't listen to all the people that give you negative advice.  You will be rewarded and it will make your hubby very happy.

Answer 7

Maybe try to bond with her. Try to take her out to lunch or do something you know she likes to do. Try to kill her with kindness. If this doesn't work I am sorry to say but not everyone in life is going to like you and maybe she just doesn't feel like she has anything in common with you. Just try harder to bond with her!