How to deal with my Husband's baby's momma dramma?

Question

Only 4 People who has experienced being married 2 a man who has a child!! Please!!

I am 22 years Old, my hus and I have a 5 month old daughter and I just stopped being part of the planning and advising team!

He has a 7 year old daughter which is very pretty!!:) but she lives with her mother, stepdad and other 3 sisters one of them a newborn!

I've always had trouble with my stepdaughter's mother, when she first knew my hus and I had married, she started making excuses to not let my hus see the child, he used to have her every other weekend and when it came to be the day of the visit she made up some stories so we wouldn't have her, not that often though she tried to be smart, she wanted us to think she wasn't acting jealous, I spent some great times with my step d. and we learned to love eachother, one day when we picked her up she said!(with a sad face) my momma says she doesn't care about you nor ******** (my name)

and it surprised me, when we talkedd to her mother she said that her daugher only talked about me, that one day she got mad, she said she wanted to live with us because we take her out to Mcdonald's a lot! and she loves the games there!

her mother said she got jealous and said Stop talking about her, I don't care,! I don't care about your dad nor *******(my name)

well later on I found out by her she had mistaken my 4 another woman, she thought I was a girlfriend my hus had before he met me that had 4 kids, so she thought "if she(refering to me) can't take care of her own children , how is she gonna take care of mine?

cause the other woman had children that did not leave with her and and my hus made a comment saying they were spoiled brats!

that's what she emailed my husband, cause I sent her daughter a e-card 4 her b-day and that's when she got mad! (jealous)

I was really upset, and asked myself" what is wrong with that woman, I do nothing more than love, and take good care of her child!!

so I answered back and I was not happy!!

After that we sent eachother some bad emails and she complained with my husband, but since he had seen the emails he knew she did not oct good and I admit I should have never follow her game!

anyways she took the child out of state and now it's very hard 4 us to see her!

She told my hus she eanted him out of the picture, that her daughter already had a Daddy and she did not needed him anymore, she even sign her up in school with her married lastname and my hus's lastname after !! By now my stepdaughter's mind is poisoned, it's been a year and 8 months we have not seen her, because of my hus migration status, we are in another country!

now I am fed up, I know my hus loves his daughter and wish him the best, but I do not want my daughter to have any contact with those people! I don't want her to get hurt!! I know I have to tell her about her stepsis one day, but I am scared!

I don't want my hus to loose the bond with his other child either!

but I am so fed up!

Answer 1

In order for you to have a relationship with her daughter you have to try to be civil with her mom. Based on some of the things you have stated its obvious that you have been questioning the kid about what her mom thinks of you. Any 7 year old kid would want to be with you more often not necessarily because you are a better parent but because you can take them out more often to McDonald's. What is soooo special about McDonald's??? it's obvious that her mom knows what good food is.

How do you send an e-card to a 7 year old? Don't you see that there is something wrong with this picture? I could have gone through a similar situation but I choose to be mature about the situation. You are not going to have a good relationship with the daughter if you don't try to find a middle ground with her mother. Maybe you should step aside and let your husband handle HIS business and stop actually like you are the "prize".

Answer 2

Ok, did she take her daughter and move out of the country?  I am assuming he has joint custody and so he has every right to be involved with her school and his ex should have to make an equal effort to make sure they get their visitation.  If she is trying to keep that from happening she isn't a good mother.  I will tell you right now, if nothing else he needs to stay in phone contact with her and RECORD every second of every call!  This way he can prove dates and times he has contacted her or attempted and when he is denied or not answered.  He will need to be able to prove he has made every attempt.  I understand you not wanting your daughter to be around it, but unfortunately it is a package deal.  If she is not a good mother, trust me if you record everything and can prove that she is hindering the relationship and that he is making every effort then he may be able to get custody.  This happened with my husbands 2 daughters we were 1,000 miles away.  Within a year she went to jail, and we went and got temp custody which turned into long term and she even came and kidnapped them and had them for a year and a half.  That sealed her fate, she lost all custody and had supervised visitation in our home state ONLY!  She didn't want to pay child support so she signed away her kids and consent for me to adopt.  So now they are with their dad and I am "mom"!  No matter what don't let her mom convince her that he doesn't care.  I am not sure how she was legally able to move out of state without the fathers consent or that of a judge.  Your husband needs to get an atty.  He also needs to call the daughters school and let them know she is registered under a false name.  What state do you live in, just curious.  Go to http://www.hope4kidz.org  and email her and ask her about a fathers advocate.  I hope this helps.  No matter what he needs to be in contact even if only by phone for now to be able to tell her he loves her.  When we went to pick up our 2 for the first time, they came running to their dad saying "mommy said you didn't love us and never wanted to see us again"!  Don't allow the mother to make her believe that!  You need to get help but who is in another country and if it is her how did she legally take the daughter out of the country?  That I am unclear on how that came about.

Answer 3

wow...long story =[

Answer 4

I am so sorry, and I feel your pain! I'm going through a similar baby mama drama issue with my husbands (i'm 24 ) sons mother ( he is 6)

Feel free to contact me by email, we can talk about this madness anytime! [e-mail]

Answer 5

really nothing you can do, the happier you are the uglier she will be. let daddy & daughter hang out 2gether w/o you or baby sum times :)