How to deal with my in-laws and my husband.?

Question

My in-laws are very smart people. They have constantly misbehaved with me right since the time I have know them (i.e. 1 year before I got married) which is almost 5 years now. However, when my husband talks to them about it they say they love me very much and never had any such intentions so at the end of the day my husband feels that his parents are great and care about me but I am not good towards them. We had to pay lakhs of rupees in loan which they borrowed in my husband's name saying that they are tight but I have heard that they have a very lavish lifestyle. However, whenever we visit them they behave as they are short of money and virtually living on the brink.

They talk ill about me to all the relatives and I have come to know through many people what they have been saying but when I tell my husband he does not believe me saying that his parents can never do that. None of the people who told me this are ready to say so to my husband and I do not want to name them or it will spoil their relationship with my husband's family. They are constantly smirking, and passing sarcastic remarks and I have no way of proving to my husband that they are not what he thinks but I just do not know how to do so that he understand....I am so frustrated that I thought of taking my life...the stress is killing me!!

Answer 1

JUST LET THEM BE...DON'T BOTHER...

Answer 2

He will never believe you even if you had video footage of them being bad.

You now have to accept them for the bad people they are.

When the other relatives start to tell you what the i laws said tell them ''please don't tell me my feelings are hurt enough.This way you don't have to think about them all day. Good luck♥

Answer 3

They are his family.  His parents.  He should be taking care of them and sending them money and gifts whether they need it or not.   Treat them how you would treat other people normally and if you can;t take them then step back a bit and treat them more formally.

Reassess your own thoughts? Are you being too selfish?

Answer 4

Kill them with kindness.  Be extra special nice to them, hug them, tell them you love them.  Ask if they need help with anything.  Go overboard.  The Kill them With Kindness really works.  They won't know what to think.  If they don't change any after a couple of months of this, then just talk to your husband that you can't take his parents behavior any longer, and start naming names.  You have nothing to lose at this point.  If your husband doesn't stand up for you, you don't deserve him.  Then maybe it's just time to call it quits and divorce and move on.  

Answer 5

I take it that your family lives a really traditional indian/middle eastern lifestyle? You probably have to give your in laws tons of respect right? So you cant just call them out or you'll look bad too. Wow this is tough! Maybe you and your husband should get counseling to work this out! Good Luck!