How to deal with overbearing parents?

Question

Hi,

Im a senior in high school and my parents insist on being a part of every aspect of my life. They call up my teachers to talk about me, they call me every hour when im at a friends house or at my girlfriends and complain that im not calling them or asking what im doing and why im not home. They say they let me make my own choices but as soon as a choice i make is not the choice they would have made they intervene (eg. i apply to university and they dont like the one i apply to so they make me change the university to which i apply to). My mum trys to prove my point of view wrong by calling up a friend of hers that has a very similar approach to raising her children and saying that she agrees with her hence she is right. Please help i can no longer stand this and am planning to move out of the house currently because i can no longer handle this.

Answer 1

Most parents think they are doing what is best for our kids. That being said let me kist say that empty nest syndrome is a real thing. The hardest thing for a parent is the thought of our kids being grown up and leaving home. I have a junior in high school and he is applying for colleges on the East coast, we live on the West. I tried to talk him into going here at first but realized that he was trying to get into that college because it offered the best education for what he wants to major in. I know that being a senior you want your freedom, and to be honest with you I dont blame you. My son knew I was having a hard time knowing he would be leaving home in 2 years so he asked me if we could have "date night". We go to dinner and a movie and talk about everything. Im proud that he makes wise decisions, and even tho he is growing up still takes this time for me and his dad. Try that with your parents, its only a couple of hours a week and it really does set our minds at ease to see what amazing grown ups we have raised. Good luck!

Answer 2

Become really rebellious and they'll get tired of intervening for little unimportant things

do stuff like get dirty turn your phone off come home late make your books a bit untidy in school - not bad work just untidy - and anything you can think of to annoy your parents, and then when they get in a temper about it just get stroppy.

Don't over step the line though only small things - don't do anything that could have big consequences.

Answer 3

Take heart, it can't last for ever.

They obviously care for you and love you - when you are (much) older you will realize it's the only time in your life you are totally cared for in this way.  Calling you every hour is over the top, have you given them a reason not to trust you?  If not tell them you will switch your mobile off and call them at an arranged time.

Listen to them but make your own choices when you feel really strongly you are right - especially choosing your university.

They cannot make you change the university application can they?

Nag at you, yes, but force you, no.  Be brave and quietly stand up for yourself, you still depend on them for shelter and food.  Life is tough out in the world on your own.

Answer 4

sorry that your parents don't seem to want to start cutting those apron strings and let you live your own life.  You do what is right for yourself and just tune them out when you need to. Calling you every hour is ridiculous and must be a pain. Tell them to stop calling so often, if they won't, don't answer your phone. Let them know that you are an adult and don't need constant supervision anymore.

Answer 5

My mum is exactly the same and Ive learnt that rebelling doesnt help so for now I dont argue but when I move out of her house I plan to move as far from her as possible. Otherwise she will never let me live my own life. I cant stand her, shes hypocritical and incredibly judgemental