How to deal with rude OB's?

Question

I asked my OB tonight about a tubal ligation after I have this baby, and he goes "well, because of your age, I don't want to do that. We can, but before you make that decision, I want to try to interest you in something else, so here's a pamphlet". He gave me Mirena info. I don't want birth control. I don't want artificial hormones surging through my body. My husband and I are 100% sure that we are done having kids, we don't want anymore. I was hoping a tubal ligation would help us prevent another pregnancy, especially given my pregnancy history. This is my third pregnancy since my daughter was born in March 2007 (last two were miscarriages).

We feel very discriminated against because of our ages (22 and 28). He's finding it hard to get a referral from our family doctor to another doctor for a vasectomy, because we don't have 3 kids and he's not 30, and now we're dealing with this from the OB.

How can we deal with my OB and how can we convince him that a ligation is what I want?

Answer 1

It's because young people generally change their minds later and have to have reversals which are only partially successful most of the time.  They then have to undergo fertility treatment to get pregnant which costs insurance tons and tons of $ so it is not in their best interest to allow young people to sterilize themselves.

What if your husband dies next year and later you remarry and want desperately to have a baby with your new husband?

Answer 2

The Dr's like to prescribe meds because they get personal kickbacks from all sales. But, at 22, you are super young. So, I understand why Dr's are reluctant to do it.

Answer 3

It is the same in the states. You can not go through tubal litigation until 30 years of age. However, you could seek the medical attention of a fertiliy specialist. The FS would be able to conclude if tubalur litigation is medically necessary. If you are 100% sure you will end up needing a hystorectmy.

Answer 4

Its that way alot of places.  You have to spit out 10 kids or be 40...can't even decide what to do with your own body!!   I would fight it tooth and nail, or find a doctor willing to do it.  Don't take no for an answer and good luck!

Answer 5

It doesn't necessarily sound as if your OB was rude so much as he gave you an answer you didn't want to hear.  If your insurance gives the specifications of the criteria to pay for either a tubal ligation or a vasectomy a doctor is going to be rightfully leery of performing an elective surgical procedure that insurance won't pay for.  I am sure he doesn't want to be left with an unpaid bill for services rendered.  It seems a difficult thing to consider, but since you are young,  what if the horribly unthinkable were to happen and your husband died and you remarried and wanted to have children with your new husband?  Or the reverse for your husband.  No one wants to think about such a tragedy, but it could happen and reversals of both sterilization procedures are expensive and not guaranteed to work.  That being said, if you definitely want this procedure done and your current doctor won't do it then the most simple thing to do is find a doctor who will.  ADDED:  If a hysterectomy is likely in your immediate future than it does seem unnecessary to do a tubal ligation or for your husband to have a vasectomy.  There are other non-drug birth control options.  Speak to your doctor about your reluctance to use Mirena and ask for other options.

Answer 6

Just tell him you read the pamphlet and you are still wanting to have the tubal, and if he is not willing to do the procedure if he could refer you to someone that will.  It's pretty standard for him to tell you about other options so that -you- are better informed, it really covers his butt in the end.

Answer 7

He wasn't being rude, he was giving you other options.  What if ten years down the road you do want another child?  Thats what he wants you to think about.  When delivery time comes around, and you still feel the same, then tell them so they can do it at your post partum appointment.  He's trying to make sure that this is what you want.  Just tell him you thought about all the other options and you still want to ligation.

Answer 8

If your OB won't listen, even if you sign something, then you may just need another OB.

Answer 9

I would just talk to him and tell him what you want. Or go to another doctor. You do what you want to do, and if you feel 3 kids is enough then no doctor should tell you other options.

*My birthday is dec 13th, and my cousin is due Dec 13th also*

Answer 10

Print out this page and give it the ob! :D Because you really want it and are very sure it seems obserd to you, but these docs have gone thru it lots of times! And people change their minds and stuff.... You are the boss of your body as is your hubby... the insurance fact will i guess keep him from doing it now... but you should be able to make it happen... and if insurance is a problem... and that sucks!... you would have the chance to pay cash for the procedure!

I think its rediculious they have rules so detailed against it! if they want to have rules you history should be one of them! :(

good luck

Answer 11

oh canada eh, lol, i live here too, and i know how it is.

i am 24, and i have 3 kids, and they refuse to let me get my tubes clamped.

they say that i am too young to make this decision, and like you said, you dont want the hormones going through you like this.

i am also breastfeeding my 11 month old, and i am not taking birth control for this reason, and i dont wanna take taht mini pill becasue who knows really..

anyways, in regards to your question, if you think you want it, and know you want it, then tell them,

also tell them that you want a second opinion, and that you are very serious about this choice.

my dr told me that if i was as serious as i say i am that i would talk to more then one dr about it,

i know that they do it where i live (ontario) after 4 kids if you are under 25, or 25 and three kids...

but i also know a girl that was 23, not married, and only 3 kids and they let her.

so it all depends

get a second opinion and be firm about it, and pushy

good luck

Answer 12

I totally support your choice to complete your family is that's what's right for you.  The same people telling you to reconsider are the same people that would probably complain if you needed welfare assistance to look after the next one !

My advice to you is ... please ask your husband to have a vasectomy instead of you having a tubal ligation.  The procedure is so much less risky.  He would have to go to the doctor for about 20 minutes, get a local anaethetic and even get anything cut - you will have to go into hospital for one or two nights, some (albeit very few) women die of complications with tubal ligation surgery, men don't die of complications with vasectomies.  I know because even though my partner and I haven't finished our family, I already did a whole lot of research to get an assurance from him that when the time comes it will be him having the operation and not me !  If you google it you'll see what I mean.

If I was you I would put a question up on yahoo answers, and google and ask around high and low "where can I find a doctor in Canada that will perform vasectomies on someone under 30".  Don't ask for or worry about other people's opinions, you know your family way better than someone with an avtar !

Good luck.