How to deal with sleeping arrangments?

Question

I have a 3yr old and a 14 months and i am 14 wks pregnant. both my kids sleep in bed with my fiance and i. I have a bed at the foot of our bed for our older son but my husband always yells at me for laying him in his own bed then brings him into bed with us. finally i just stopped laying our oldest in his bed and let him sleep in ours just so i don thave to deal with my husband yelling at me. well sinc ei have gotten further alon gin this pregnancy its been really hard to sleep and even harder when i have one kid kicking me in my back and head and the other rolling all over my legs. I have deicided to put them both in the bed at night and refuse to let them come into my bed.

oh the reason neither of them have their own room is cuz of the layout of our hous is poor and if they woke up at night they could have asy access to the kitchen or basement so thats the reasoning on that. also the reason i think my husband thinks its ok for them to sleep in bed is cuz he doesnt have to deal with it at all he comes to bed between 5-7 am and my oldest sleeps right between his legs for an hour then its time to wake up .

any ideas or thoughts on how to deal with this?

Answer 1

I don't think there's anything wrong with having your children sleep in bed.  I think it's good for them and makes them more emotionally secure.  A lot of people say once you get kids sleeping in your bed you never get them out.  A lot of people are wrong.  You can get them out.  Here's how.  First, buy some baby gates to set up along the kitchen and basement doors so they can sleep in their own room.  Put them in bed at the same time every night and start a bedtime routine, like a song or story before you kiss them goodnight, shut off the light and leave them be.  If they get up, simply put them back in bed without saying a word.  Repeat. The first, second and third night might by extremely tough on you, but I promise it will pay off.  Soon they'll be sleeping on their own.

P.S.  Personally I'm not a big believer in letting kids "cry it out", I think all people have a reason for crying.  Let them cry, but if after 5 minutes they still haven't stopped, go in and comfort them, let them know their safe and walk out again.  Repeat.

Answer 2

i personally never let my childern sleep with me for this very reason. someone will get too attached. but my suggestion would be to have them start sleeping in their own beds. you mentioned about them escaping into the kitchen or basment.... use a monitor in their rooms and i suggest baby gates across the doors. then if they get up they can play in their rooms where its safer.

Answer 3

I think the key here is your husband. Once he comes round to the idea of just you two sleeping in your bed, your children will also.

Because you ar eboth not united in your decision, your children will always be in your bed. When I was pregnant, i sometimes didn;t want my partner in my bed cos of lack of room or because he was too hot!! so i feel for you.

Maybe get some bunk beds, some really cool ones for your kids.

You need to explain to your partner how hard it is for you.  No offense to your man but i think he's being a little selfish to you. At what age does he expect the children to sleep in their own bed?

Answer 4

I agree with Garnetair.  What the h**l is this guy doing yelling at his pregnant wife.  His job is to make your life as comfortable and pleasurable as possible during your pregnancy.  He shouldn't be yelling at you.  He should be helping you.  So, I'm going to help you instead.  Get the kids a portable sleeping cot.  You can find the pics and details at the following link.  http://www.amazon.com/Regalo-My-Cot-Port...  This is at Amazon.  it's for $29.99 and it's portable so when it's time to wake up, you can but the cot away.  It's low to the ground, so you don't have to worry about junior falling more than a few inches.  It's made by Regalo and it's called the Regalo My Cot Portable Child Bed.

  Here's another link for you.  It's about .25 cents cheaper at Wallmart.  http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.d... .

  Good Luck.

Answer 5

Yes, tell your husband to grow up and quit yelling at his pregnant wife, and that he won't get s*x, until the kids are in their own rooms... Baby gates work wonders. :)

Answer 6

your kids need their own space.  you can always put up a baby gate to keep them IN their room, and use a monitor to keep an "ear" out for them.  

in the upcoming months, you will take up more room in your own bed and it really just isn't gonna work with 2 kids and a husband and you and a belly!

and as far as your husband... why does he YELL at you?  can't he talk in a normal voice?  not always the EASY way is the best way.  i.e., them in your bed may be easy for night awakenings/feedings/etc., but it is BETTER for them to have their own space.

Answer 7

Get them in their own rooms.  You will really be regretting it later.  Put up a baby gate or something on the door to block them from getting out.  If a 3 yr. old wakes up in the night, he'll probably want to look for you and won't be concerned with any other room anyways.  Plus, what will you do when your baby is born?  Your marriage will not survive 3 kids in your bedroom!  :)  Keep a lock on the basement door- like a latch at the top that only you and your hubby can reach.