How to deal with the ex-mother in law.?

Question

Ok, my ex and I divorced because she cheated on me with another guy. She's since gotten engaged to this guy and I would have thought that would have been enough for her mother and sisters to cease communication with me. But her mom constantly calles me. She tells me all the time her daughter is "living a lie" and all kinds of other negative things (stuff I wish she had told me before I married her). This divorce was/is extremely painful for me. Her mother is a really nice woman and I don't want to take it out on her but I need a clean break from all of them. I know its not her fault her daughter did the things she did. I don't wanna be rude but I would think she would stop contacting me on her own. I've just stopped responding to her messages and phone calls but is that wrong? Do I owe her an explanation why?

Answer 1

no.

Answer 2

You don't owe her anything but respect. Tell her that since her daughter has made her decision, then you have to make some because of the circumstance she has put you in. Explain to her that she has been a great mother in law but as of now she is just a friend. You want to move on with your life and need her to respect your wishes not to be contacted anymore. Explain the divorce was hurtful and you need to forget it. You really do need to move on so by hanging on to the past you can never do that. be nice but tell her your done!

Answer 3

"Look  Mrs.(surname), I understand your concern for your daughter.  However, I want to move on from everything and don't want contact from her or anything to do with her.  I want to move on with my own life now.  It's really hard to do so if you keep bringing up the past and her.  you're a nice woman, but could you give me my own space to breathe and go on with my own life"

Answer 4

i think you need to tell her that you need a clean break. that's all you need to do.

Answer 5

It's good that this woman is supportive of you.  It sounds like she is calm and caring.  She will understand if you explain to her that when you hear from her, it reminds you of your ex.  Explain how painful it is for you and ask for some healing time for yourself.

She will understand and give you your space.

Answer 6

kindly  keep allowing the voice mail to take the messages.

Answer 7

You certainly do not owe her an explanation a and I can see why you just responding to her. But since you said she is a nice woman maybe you could send her an email explaining how this is divorce is very painful to you, and that as much as you wish it didn't  have to be this way,  you cannot maintain a relationship with the mother of your ex-wife. You have to make a clean break for your own healing and unfortunately that includes her mother. If she doesn't understand then just cut all communications and don't feel guilty you will already have done more than she should reasonably expect.

Answer 8

You owe her merely a short, succinct explanation of the reasons you would like to cut off contact with her and her other daughters.  You are no longer family.  There is no reason that you need to continue to be reminded of the hurt that your ex did to you any longer.  Get on with it adn tell you ex-MIL that it's over.

Answer 9

I think her mother sounds like a wonderful woman and you shouldn't treat her any different because of what happened between you and your ex.

Just find a way to politely say, "look, I like you and I like your family, you have meant a lot to me yada yada...but I have to move on and to do that I need a clean break from everything that reminds me of her. I hope you understand it has nothing to do with you."

You can say "I don't want to talk to you anymore" and be respectful about it. She'll understand.

Answer 10

i know that you would need a clean break from the family but i think you should at least tell the mother.