How to deal with this?

Question

It's a long story, but I'll try to shorten it as much as I can without leaving out too much detail.

Me and my ex split up a long time ago, we fought a lot. Well I found out shortly after we broke up that she was pregnant (yes with mine). I was up there to see the baby born but for various reasons, we kind of went our ways and I disappeared from the picture (it was long distance relationship).

My daughter is 3 now and me and her mom have started talking again. We are on friendly terms and she is completely okay with me being apart of my daughters life (in fact she said she'd like that). However, she married someone and my daughter now calls him dad.

So how do you go about telling a 3 year old? Or do you not and let me just be "joe" to her till she's old enough to understand? If we dont tell her the truth when she meets me, would it be more damaging in the long run, when some years down the road she finds out im her real dad?

Just wondering what everyone thinks.

Answer 1

behave like a father to her,so when she is old enough then you can tell her, it will make it easy  for her to forgive you.

Answer 2

I suggest telling her that she's such a lucky little girl, she has two dads! And then explain to her when she's older about the biology part. This shouldn't be 'damaging' at all.