How to deal with this? ?

Question

Hi,

I am having a really downer day today!

I am missing the first baby I lost. I lost him due to missed miscarriage. He would have been coming up to his 4th birthday in December.

Don't get me wrong I have a beautiful little boy now called Caden who is my world but I so miss my other baby.

I watching Caden sleeping and I just crying my eyes out.

I know it meant to get easier in time but it just hurts so much. I was 18 weeks pregnant. I felt him kick.

I just miss him so much.

Really depressed

Lx

Answer 1

You sound a little like you might have a bit of post-partum depression, combined with unresolved grief.

It is never easy to lose a child, expecially at the point where you are starting to feel movement and it's becoming more real and more anticipated.

You are also seeing your son now and it's making you wonder about your lost baby, and it hurts.  This is natural, and don't let anyone tell you differently.

Here's the trick, though.  You are going to need some help here, because you have a lot of things going on in your life.  You have an infant at home, who is demanding your attention and time, and causing, I'm sure, some vast amounts of sleep deprivation and stress/worry.  You have some memories and pain from your earlier miscarriage.  You are likely coping with some horomone fluctuations that are all a part of pregnancy and post-pregnancy.  You are likely overwhelmed and stressed out beyond all reason.

You should speak with your doctor/obstetrician about the way you are feeling and why. I presume he/she knows about your miscarriage and can likely give you some information or refer you to someone who can help develop some tools to handle your understandable feelings.

Answer 2

Izzy is so right, God has given you a lovely son, not to replace the little one you lost, but for you to love for himself. I pray you will soon be able to cope and enjoy the 'gift' you have now and believe you will see your first son who is helping you both.

Answer 3

Awwww im so sorry to hear this.

This happened to my best friend and it took her a long time before things got easier.

Pain heals in time, you just have to give it time.

Your never going to able to forget the first baby because he was your first child and he was a part of you.

But just rememeber you have have been blessed with another beautiful child from God.

Hope you feel alot better soon

x*x