How to discipline 14 mo son for pulling my hair without being cruel?

Question

I usually say no and look him in the face. Sometimes I grab his hand/arm mid-grab and squeeze it a little. Today after his nap he grabbed so much of my hair and pulled out about 5 strands or more when I caught his arm still grabbing. I squeezed the arm until he little go. Then I said "No!" until he finally let go. Then he screamed and cried with tears for about 5 minutes. I don't know if I hurt him or if his feelings were just hurt, but I know I felt like c**p. How can I get him to stop this hair pulling without being cruel or hurting him?

Answer 1

my daughter does the same thing and she is 16 mos. old and has been doin it 4 a while now i tell her no and that it hurts mommy and she will stop however i dont think u should be squeezing his arm he is a baby.i know they have to learn but a firm no should do it in my opinion u went to far.

Answer 2

use time out

Answer 3

Just a slap on the hand and a firm "no." You probably did hurt him, but he had to learn.  Sounds like you are doing a great job, he will learn soon.  Just keep doing it! :)

Answer 4

hes 14 when u grabbed his arm u should of pulled him over ur lap pulled off his pants and undies and gave his bare butt a spanking

Answer 5

Unfortunately at 14 months old little kids don't know it hurts or that it's mean to pull hair. They are only exploring the world around them and to them everything bears investigation over and over and over...

the best thing to do is calmly and gently take his hand down and tell him "no that hurts". Don't slap, don't squeeze and don't yell.  It isn't necessary.  Eventually they stop and move on to something else.  My son went through this as well and he's 16 months old now. He's past hair and onto exploring faces and other textures around the house.

Answer 6

I had the same problem with my nephew. We just told him firmly "No, that's not nice" Then after a while he just grew out of it. If you can then put him down after he pulls your hair. That shows him that he hurt you and that he won't get attention by doing it.

Answer 7

My pediatrician gave me a great tip for "disciplining" at this age for the touchy feely no-nos (like hair pulling and hitting).  Face it, they don't understand much and you're really limited in what you can do, but this one worked great and I didn't feel like a monster for doing it.

Stay very calm and don't yell or get mad during the process.  When he pulls your hair, take both of his hands, one over the other, in your hands.  Your hands will be on top and bottom with his hands in the middle.  Just hold them and don't let him remove his hands.  Say "No.  We don't pull hair."  Then turn your face away from him.  You don't have to do it long.  30 seconds.  At this age, being immobilized is really frustrating to the child.   So, it's a great deterent.  Plus, since you aren't looking at him, you aren't reinforcing the behavior by giving him attention.

It's like time out.  Even at this age, they don't like having their movement restricted.  And though their memory isn't great, it's still good enough to condition their behavior.

Answer 8

Unfortunately a 14 month old are just like puppies in a way. They learn from repetitive behavior. If you put him down and tell him No each time, he will realize that this is not making you happy. I would not hold a grudge, but for the time being you will have to remove him from what is catching his attention and causing the behavior of pulling your hair. Slapping, isn't necessarily the cure. Good luck.

Answer 9

at his age he cant fully understand a punishment or understand physical pain. my own opinion is when he pulls grap his hand and give it a quick but not harsh slap while looking him in the eye and saying a clear NO. he will probably cry not because of pain but just because he is either mad because he cant do what he want or was caught off guard but dont start playing caretaker if he does; loosen grip on his hand while still looking him in the eye sayin no then put him down or ignore his cries he will stop and think to himself about it. (something i learned from Nanny 911) but you have to be consistent and if you have other kids if he does it to them teach them to do the same thing so he knnows its wrong to pull anyones hair

Answer 10

well i say you keep doing what you are doing because

children will be children,

you can't really discipline a 14 month old child.

mabie when he is 4 or 5 you can threaten him with the whole "corner" thing and things like that but he probably doesn't understand, he is just doing something that amuses him.

=] hope this helps.

Answer 11

As a mother of 5 I would have to say, at this age, he still is at the age that he needs his hand slapped each time he does something like that (notice, I said slapped, not tapped). He will soon not do it and will know that each time you say NO! you mean it! He has to recognize that discipline comes with the word NO and that he can not hurt people. If he doesn't learn this now at this age, he may turn into a biter and worse. Many kids that are not taught to obey, these are a daycare and kindergarten teachers nightmare.... I know this is not a popular discipline, but the old style works best at this age, so by the time they are teens you only have to use words, groundings, etc......just look at society today and it shows!