How to discipline a 6 year old?

Question

Today I gave my 6 (almost 7) year old $10 to go to the book fair at school. I gave him instructions that he was:

A) to get 2 books

B) to bring me back change.

He got 5 books, and brought me back $.02 in change.

He understood the instructions that I gave him, as I made him repeat them.

A little background:

During Christmas time, we gave him $20 to go to the school's "Santa's Workshop", where you can buy small gifts for your family. He got my husband a gift and then 5 gifts for himself. We made him donate 4 of the gifts to charity.

Should I make him donate the books to charity? Or just three of the books? Should I let him have them, even though he disobeyed me? Should I make him earn all the books back through good behavior and chores?

Answer 1

i went through this with my son too.... same thing... but what i found out was that sometimes the teacher will assume they get to spend all the money they have and help them choose things up to the amount they have... my son came home with a few cents too... they gave him some pencils to take up the last 50 cents or so... i would send a note next time so his teacher knows how much he can spend exactly. i think donating the extra ones to charity is fine, but i wouldn't read too much into it. it is possible that he was overwhelmed by having his own cash and acted on impulse. it will get better with age :)

Answer 2

He should be grounded from the TV for not following your instructions and made to do house work to earn the money to pay for the extra books!  Just donating them is not any kind of punishment, unless you make him donate them after he's earnd the money to buy them!  Then you should have a good long talk with him about following your instructions and listening!  Good behavior is just expected all the time and should not count toward his bad behavior!

Answer 3

He is 6!  As a parent who works with the book shop and secret santa workshop let me assure you he probaly just got caught up in the moment.  My son bought 6 matchbox cars at the santa shop for christmas when his teacher had a list of names and the amount he was to spend. (you are not allowed to go with your own child)  Most of the time the people helping him, really were not paying attention to your instructions. Let it go, be glad he bought books instead of candy or drugs.  There are far worse things to worry about!

Next time, send a list with him so the impluse may not be as bad.  Just because he repeated the instructions were repeated back to you does not mean he understood!  Even parrotts can repeat.  I would say this is a great time to join the library and then he can check out several books.  Have you ever not wanted something, and could not decide which one so you bought both?  Let it go, and do not take them away.

Answer 4

when i did that when i was 6 my mom used a cattle prod on my arm...now I'm deranged

Answer 5

I think you should make him earn the books through good behavior and chores!

AND so he will not do that again, next time you give him money and a set of rules, you might want to threaten him if he disobeys you. Haha that sounds harsh. But think of other rewards you give him or things he likes to do. Remind him that he has not listened to your directions in the past, therefore if he does not follow directions... he can't watch T.V. for a week. Or... he gets a time out.

Answer 6

I would personally save the extra 3 books that he bought. Obviously he is very interested in reading. However, I see your viewpoint that he disobeyed about buying extra books. Allow him to earn the money to buy them off of you. If reading is that interesting I wouldn't stop him from keeping the books honestly.

The Christmas thing that's totally understandable. But books are a bit different than toys.

I feel that making him turn them back in would discourage the fact that he's wanting to learn to read and read more.

Answer 7

Since hes done this before and since hes a little kid just donate the 3 books.You cant really trust him with money yet too.Wait until hes 9 or 10

Answer 8

Turn this incident into a positive thing. Have him read all the books and ask him to present each books as a verbal book report.

Or, explain that he must do a little more chores around the house to pay off the extra money he had spent.

Go easy on him, you don't want to turn him off books!!!

Answer 9

Is it possible that you can get a refund on the books? Just 3 of them.

If not, have him donate all of the  books to charity and then have him also work off the money. Let him know he'll have to do chores whenever you say so, no matter who is over.

We had a simmilar problem with my daughter, we'd give her money and she'd spend it all and give us back no change at all!

Good luck!

Answer 10

Give him a time out

Answer 11

look,give all of them to charity because you can't use two cents and he shouldn't be disobeying you

Answer 12

Great idea to donate the x-mas gifts!  If the book fair is on tomorrow can he return 2 - if not let him choose which 2 he would like and make him earn the others.  It's a little different situations then Christmas which is about giving and not getting so the donation was appropriate.

Answer 13

make him donate them all and work to get the 10 dollars back

Answer 14

make him donate them. then make him earn more doing whatever around the house and buy new book. and for anyother school things dont give him money only money that he earns around the house ( i know its harsh but this is the 2 time he did it!)

Answer 15

I totally agree with the first post! When he does this he's basically stealing and it should be dealt with as such. Or let him keep two of the books, donate the others he wasn't supposed to buy and make him do special chores to earn that money back. Like chores he wouldn't normally do.

Answer 16

donate the books or earn the books back seems to be good ideas but I would also let him know that next time there is a book fair or santas workshop he will not be able to participate.

Answer 17

maybe he is not ready to have the money and control his impulse to buy.  our school lets the kids have a day where they can look first.  i have my granddaughter pick out what she wants that day and then the next day i send the money.  otherwise go and pay yourself.  i definitely would not let him keep the books.

Answer 18

YOU gave a 6 year old $10.00 that was YOUR fault not the child's.  YOU were expecting a CHILD to think like an adult...that is YOUR fault.  How do you think YOU should be disciplined?  Next time use a little bit of common sense and don't send a small child to school with that much money.

Answer 19

at 6 you may be asking a bit much. They get excited in the spur of the moment. I would take the extra books and let him have them either for good behaviour over the next few months, in place of pocket money or put away for birthday or Christmas

Answer 20

I think any of the solutions you have listed are good. I would have him donate 3 of the books to charity and have him earn the two books he chooses.

Answer 21

i would make him do extra chores and donate the books to charity if in the end he gets what he wants he will continue to disobey and it will get worse if they find they can get away with one thing they will try to get away with other things thats why they call it tuff love but also keep in mind that when he does what he is told make a big deal out of it and reward him for the good behavior

Answer 22

I think the best approach with a child that age is to ask him what he thinks his punnishment should be.  If my 7 yr old daughter does something she knows is wrong, I ask her why she did it, if she thought it was wrong and what does she think her punnishment should be...i think its a good way of making them understand right from wrong and taking responsibility for there actions.  Also if I send her to her room and punnish her I make sure to ask her if she thinks I'm being fair and if not why and make sure to explain to him why you think he wasn't being fair.