How to discipline an advanced 11month old?

Question

My daughter will be 11mo. on the 11th. She is almost walking. she has a very strong personality, How do I start setting boundaries and for her to know I mean no. I want a child who is pleasant and obedient and not distroy her personality?

Answer 1

Use No sparingly, don't say it 20 times a day.  If she is about to do something you don't approve of distract her and when she does something you do approve of tell her she is being good.

Answer 2

My son was the same way.  He walked by 10 months, talked at 8 months and knew what buttons to push at such a young age.  I would say consistency.  Stick to a disipling method and pick your battles.  If she's climbing on things don't yell NO take her to the park where she can climb.  Whatever she can't do try and find a way that is possible.  Don't get me wrong not everything kids do are good but don't say no to everything.  Good luck!

Answer 3

each child is different. i have a strong willed child and for him the thing that works the best is talking to him. helping him understand right from wrong, he loves to talk with me and i am teaching him and he doesnt really even know it.

Answer 4

I say read some parenting books if you are  not sure what you want to do.  They always helped remind me in tough situations, like terrible two's,  that the way you chose to discipline them will effect your relationship and your childs for their entire life!  Good luck...

Answer 5

At 11 months, I think redirecting may still be the best thing for you to do.  When she is getting into something she shouldn't, explain to her that it is dangerous (or whatever the problem with it is), and say something like "Let's go play with you ball."  She may not yet comprehend your explanations but it's good to get in the habit of explaining things to her.  At that age, this usually worked with my daughter.  However, if she kept persisting to do whatever it was she wasn't supposed to be doing (her favorite was trying to take the dog's food while she was eating - very dangerous!), I would firmly tell her no and then hold her gently but firmly in my lap (which she hated) for a few seconds.  Most of the time, she would then stop trying the offending behavior.  Now my daughter is 15 months, and she seems to really be understanding the concept of time-out.  We have a designated corner that we sit her in if she continues doing something after we have told her to stop.  We make her sit there for about 30 seconds.  She actually understands when she tries to get up on her own and we tell her to stay.  She will reluctantly sit back down and wait out her eternal 30 seconds.

Answer 6

My son sounds similar to your daughter. He was very easygoing until he started crawling at 6 months, then decided that he was in charge. He too has a very strong personality. He started walking at 10.5 months and things really got crazy then. He started shaking head no and throwing temper tantrums at 11 months of age. His first word was even no, and not because I say it to him a million times a day (I don't). I find that the first thing is to learn what triggers a tantrum so that you can either avoid it or be prepared. Redirect her to something else when she does start getting upset. Also, start teaching her baby sign language. A primary cause of meltdowns in this age group is their lack of verbal skills since they can't communicate what it is that they want. Now that my son is 15 months old and has better verbal skills and is learning sign language, he can better communicate his frustrations with me. For example, instead of screaming because he wants some milk, he makes the sign for milk, I get him some,  and a tantrum is avoided. I also can explain to him that he shouldn't touch/eat/do something because he will get hurt (get an ouchie). Also, make sure your expectations aren't too high for your child. Tantrums and fits are a natural part of this age, as well as the desire to explore.

To avoid her hurting herself provide her with safe areas that she can explore. For example, my son has one kitchen cabinet that is his and he knows the others are off limits. (And if I forget to latch one he gives me the lock so I can secure it!) I put tupperware and a bunch of safe things inside it that he can dig around and make noise in.  

As long as you maintain simple boundries (no touching the hot stove or electrical outlets) rather than making everything off limits or a no no,  and consistent schedules for your child you should feel confident that you are doing the best you can to discipline her.

Answer 7

Utilize re-direction as much as you can at this age! Kids have short attention spans and can usually be directed to a more appropriate activity/behavior! She is too young for time out to be effective!

Answer 8

You set your rules and be firm, the ealier the better. If she does anything wrong you let her know it's wrong and to not do it again. You don't give in when they cry. You put her in room for a time out. Just talk to her and explain again and always express your love. By the time she's 4, she will know her boundaries. You won't destroy her personality because you are just teaching her that she doesn't get a present when you do something wrong. If you do this your child will be the most behaved, and most thoughtful child in class. She will know what it right and wrong pretty early in life.

Answer 9

Well, the most important thing to remember is consistency and follow through. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you do it. If you say, "Don't touch that glass or you're in time out," make sure that if she DOES touch that glass, you DO put her in time out. You have to follow through with what you say so that she knows you mean business and that if she DOES go against what you say, she KNOWS there's a definite consequence.

I think time outs work best. I won't say they WORK right away, but often, if I tell my 2 and 3 yr olds that they will get a time out if they don't listen to whatever it is I'm telling them, they stop...not all the time. But I still follow through with the time out no matter what. AND I say something I can do. I don't say things like, "If you don't be quiet now, we're turning the car around and going home." Because...well, I don't want to go back home!

Answer 10

I agree with Jacqui...Re-direct her...she is too young for much of anything else...if you don't like something she is doing...give her something else to do...something you want her to do!

Answer 11

your kid going to grow up to be a leader...

Answer 12

You are on the right track to a well behaved child if you set boundaries.  At 11 months, your daughter is PLENTY old enough to receive discipline, punishments and training.  Obviously, it's a little different for an 11 month old than for a toddler, but the good news is that  if you start now, you can avoid the so called terrible twos  and instead have a happy, obedient loving child that everyone around will enjoy.

Begin by tellng her "no" in a firm and commanding voice,  Don't be afraid to be in charge and let her know it.  When you say 'no' and she continues to do it (whatever), smack her hand and say 'no' a little more forceful.  Just enough of a smack to let her feel a soft sting.  If you have a stong willed child, she will probably go for it again.  This time, smack her hand a little harder and say "NO" with more force.   Most babies will stop at this point  If she doesn't, pick her up and say, "I said NO". and move her to a different spot.  If she does stop on her own (eithr because she started crying or just gave up), pick her up and hug her and say, "That's a good girl to listen to mommy".  Lots of smiles and hugs and kisses.

The next time she goes fo the same thing, say, "NO" in a lfirm voice and if she stops and looks at you, pick her up and hug her and praise her.  At 11 months old, stopping when you say 'no' IS obedience all the way.  She isn't old enough to actually trun around and go the other way.  After a few times of this and her knowing how to respond to "NO", you can begin to spank her on her bottom when she doesn't obey the word 'no'.  If you tell her 'no' and she ignores you and you're sure she knows what it means, that is disobedience and you have to set the precedence for zero toleration of disobedience right now.  I don't mean pull out a belt and beat her.  I mean pick her up, smack her bottom enough that she feels it (although it probbly doesn't hurt because of the diaper) and set her in a spot away from toys and things she can play with.  Ahetr a few seconds, pick her up and hug her and tell her,"Mommy said no, you have to listen". She might not understand all your words, but your meanng will be very clear.

Always smile and show happiness anytime she obeys and listens and does what she should.  Never  get angry with her when she doesn't.  Just keep reminding her to 'listen to mommy'.

The most important thing is to BE CONSISTENT!!  Don't let her get by with somehting one time because it's cute and then expect her to take you seriously the next time when you tell her 'no'.  And don't allow her to get away with disobedience sometimes and expect her to obey you another time.  She will quickly learn the "NO" doesn't really mean anything.

I have five kids and this is how I did all of mine.  They are very well behaved and obedient.  They are happy, well adjusted,, friendly children that people like to be around.  I have fun with them in our lives and I never have to worry about how they are going to behave at the store, doctor's office, friend's house, play date, Sunday school...ect.  I'm not bragging, just giving you evidence that I do know what I'm talking about.  I think it's impotant to look for answers from people who have some  older children as proof  rather than people with only children that are still young..