How to even begin to organize a house that is filthy and cluttered with "stuff"?

Question

My 41 year old daughter used to have a clean house with minimal clutter. For the past couple of years she's beem dealing with severe depression, cutting herself and suicidal ideations. She recently had emergency surgery to remove five feet of dead colon. Health wise she is progressively nicely but very slowly. For reasons too complicated to explain she chose to go from the hospital to her home,not mine. We've both in agreement that living in a filthy cluttered envirmoent is bad for mental health. The house has not seen a broom, mop or any other cleaning implement in at least a year. And then there's the miscellaneous stuff covering almot all the furniture and floor. I was over there yesterday and found myself just cleaning around the debris or just moving it from one place to another. Very few, but some of the clutter needs to be kept. like her mail so I can't toss it all . How can I clean up this mess in an organized way room by room so I can see some results

Answer 1

I did start sorting things out  in sections like clothes, paper, thrash, recycle, utensils, miscellaneous etc.

Then sort sort individual group..like some of clothes can go to goodwill etc, paper that can be recycled or imp letters etc.

Once that is done....get some storage stuff.....like boxes (if you have ikea in your town they are chep there or walmart has good selection too) Get one which have lids on them.

Start filling them out and labelling them....liek imp letters go in one box wiht a label saying so...aslo you can file some.

The key is to remove junk, keep what is necessary, recyle what you can.. n throw what you dont need at all n is of no use to anyone.

once that is done you can wash /clean/mop the floor, clothes, utensils etc.

Good job on helping out your daughter....I hope she appreciates your work n knows what a great mom she has!

It did take some time...ask some one to help out but hey once its done its so well worth it!

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Start one room at a time, divide the stuff into "keep", "sell" and "trash".Get rid of the trash right now, and the "sell" as soon as you can. It is hard to not revert back even years after the cleanup. Some people can go for a decade and they still revert back.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

First go room by room, clear it out completely and start from scratch (like a white/blank canvas). Throw out everything that is not needed or has not been used for a while. Make sure she is not in the house because she will want to keep everything. Insert bright colors into the room and utilize all the natural light. And try using lots of baskets to contain the residual things. Try storage answers from this site  http://www.containerstore.com/index.jhtm...

Best of Luck

Answer 4

Box it up and take it to your house.  Yes, it's more time and energy consuming, but you can go through it on your own time; donate or dispose of unneeded/unwanted items; clean an entire room or more (or have someone else do it) with no 'stuff' in it; and then bring the important items back to a clean house.

If she's already depressed seeing you throw away her things might make it worse.  Whereas if you box it all up - even a little at a time - she's not seeing EVERY SINGLE THING.  She only sees what you bring back.  From there she might even be able to get rid of some things herself.

I don't mean this in an unkind way,  but it sounds as though you almost have treat this situation as you would when dealing with a small child who doesn't want to clean their room or give up any of their toys.  The more you can do without her direct knowledge, probably the better.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

You are dealing with so much more than just a messy and cluttered house.  How are YOU doing?  

This site has a pdf scale which will help you to determine whether it is even a good idea for you to help her on your own or if it may be better to get outside help.  

It is the National Study Group for Chronic Disorganization.  They are a group of Professional Organizers which specialize in the worst situations - situations where the home is a health issue, where there are physical or emotional concerns, working with extreme hoarders, mental and physical disabilities, etc.  

What makes them uniquely qualified is they prefer to coordinate with counselors and other professionals to resolve the situation with as little negative impact as possible on the usually fragile or impaired individual. They will be able to be supportive of her, will not be judgmental, and from what I understand will work toward trying to make her feel empowered.  

For the pdf resource - http://www.nsgcd.org/resources/clutterho...

Take the time to contact them.  Even if you do not want their services, they will be the best assistance for further resources and educated advice on what steps to make next.

My heart goes out to you both in more ways than you could possibly know.  It is very hard to help someone who, though willing, may not yet be ready for help.  And there is nothing worse than watching a loved one in such pain that their environment mirrors the worst of what they have been feeling. If you ever need an ear, my e-mail is available through my profile.  I wish you both the best of luck.

Answer 6

start at the front or the back door and work your way in systematically...at least that's what has worked with a friend of mine.

Answer 7

I had to clean 50 years worth of clutter out of my grandmother's house just so she could get around. I hired a dumpster and a bought a pair of rubber gloves. Just start throwing things that are filthy, worn out, or haven't been used in months away. It is the only way. All of it...don't stop. Don't just move it around and don't try to do one room at a time. Whole house all at once. Moving things from one place to another won't help. Her mail should be sorted and bills and important things in one spot. The rest can be taken to the local shredder. Just do it...you'llsave her life in the process.

Answer 8

I feel your pain...I too, am a slob.  At some point, you are going to have to be brutal and throw things out!  Start by getting 1.  A laundry basket for "things to keep"  2.  A box for "things to donate"  3. a garbage bag.  Start in the smallest room (usually the bathroom) and clean.  Get rid of the junk, donate anything that hasn't been worn, used or looked at in the last 9-12 months.  Keep a bucket loaded with paper towels, cleaners and supplies.  After the tossing, start cleaning!  It will take time, but it will go quickly if you take it one step at a time.

Answer 9

I feel for you and her. My sister has a clutter problem as well. She has negative feelings about herself and sabatages everything good in her life. I think you might want to ask your daughter what she wants first. You may be wasting your time cleaning because when she is back on her feet she will start to mess the house again. If she doesn't want it cleaned you may just have to put up with the mess. I have cleaned my sister's home more times than I can count and it always ends up the same. Sometimes you have to just let them live the way they want to live.

Answer 10

Before actually "cleaning" begins, start with a bit of organization.  By simply throwing out un-needed/unwanted items, you'll see a vast improvement.  Get a trash bag and simply start in a small area of the residence and work clockwise from there.

I know your daughter is recovering, but see if she is willing to get involved in the process- it may help her.  Hopefully she is following up with her doctors and making progress in her recovery.  I think that as she does, she'll see that her living conditions are neither healthy nor helpful to her well being.

Good luck.

Answer 11

It will take a lot of patience and work and time...Buy some plastic tote containers for the important things and have lots of trash bags handy for the rest and throw it out. Do one room at a time,going through the clutter.When the clutter is gone and you can see the floors,etc. again,do the cleaning. Good Luck!

Answer 12

You need to minimize the decision process for you.

1 - Start by de-trashing the place. Take a large trash can, put in a liner and start discarding all the newpapers, empty bottles, and the like.  All you have to do is decide "Trash, not trash".  When you fill a trash bag, haul it out and put a new one in the can and keep going.

If you find mail ... toss it all in ONE box labelled mail.

2 - Then start with the decluttering: smallest spaces to largest ones  ... remove everything from the bathroom, scrub it and (here's the key) only put back bathroom stuff that is in clean, usable condition.  Discard all the out of date cosmetics, broken curling irons, etc.

3 - Then the kitchen ... remove everything one cupboard at a time, scrub and put back only what she'll use.  Minimize the stuff you keep.  Skip the counters and floors for now.

4 - Same with the bedroom, one section at a time, remove everything, clean and only replace what should be there.

5 - Then the living and dining rooms, same drill. Start with closets, move to larger areas.

6 - When you have de-cluttered, then it's easier to scrub the floors, dust and clean the furniture

TIPS:  As you are cleaning an area, if you  find things that belong in another room, DO NOT STOP TO PUT THEM AWAY! Drop them in a box, and put them all away after you are through with the current area. This keeps you on track.

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Go to flylady.net ... she has a schedule that keeps you ontrack

Answer 13

You definitely need to clean it out. From experience I have learned that when your environment is realcluttered its hard to think straight and it is overwhelming. She may not even realize that is contributing to her illness. You need to clean one room at a time. Start from the front of the house and work your way back. It doesnt have to be all at once. And it will give her something to do to keep her mind off the bad things. Also she might enjoy looking through her things and throwing things out. I recently did the same thing when my husband and I started over together. it really feels good when it is done. Stay positive....And put on some good music while you work. I wish you both the best of luck....Jaz

Answer 14

What i would do is get some rubbish bags and some boxes, and tackle the house by going from room to room, starting from the top of the house and get rid of all things that could be thrown out, and for the other stuff pack it tidily in the boxes, you could get storage boxes insteed of cardboard as they are much better. But before you tackle this i think you should go out and get all the cleaning stuff that is needed, maybe even bring some from your home to save the expense, unless it is better to buy the stuff. Maybe you could go through her mail and see what can be thrown out as it maybe junk mail, and once you have done the top half of the house then start downstairs, one thing i would like to add that as you do one room and made it tidy and clean close that door so no dust goes into it, i hope that helps.