How to explain to a 'str8' guy its ok to have homo feelings?

Question

my very good str8 friend has been hinting that he might be bisexual or at least thats his impression. i dont think he means to have s*x with me (hes very macho and still very nice and cute) and even if he wanted id say no as this would prob ruin our friendship (+hes also married).

but how do i explain to him that he shouldnt be afraid of his bisexual side? i know why he fears, its partly religion, social stigma and that he's afraid if he tries g*y s*x he'll be less of a real man himself + how would he feel raising a son a real man after that. how would you do it?

Answer 1

all love or feelings are natural.after all we are male and female,xy chromizones.society is wrong to try to deny these feelings.its like all prejudice.do what makes you happy.to enjoy another human being is Gods gift

Answer 2

why do you need to explain it to him.  if he's expressing it, obviously he's ok with it.  anyway if he's married he shouldn't be cheating.

Answer 3

Are you sure that you're not just projecting "homo feelings" into his mind because you want to knock boots with your macho married friend? Maybe you're right about him, i really can't say since I don't know either of you, but really though: if he has those thoughts let him sort if out himself, because your coaching may be unnecessary.  

Answer 4

Does he know you're g*y?

If so, just have a chat.  Let him explain his hesitations and be sympathetic but educate him.

And yes, if he's closeted and depressed, that's probably the root cause of his depression.

Answer 5

You think you know why he fears it.  But perhaps there's more to it than that.  In any case, my opinion is that you should not broach the subject of 'his being afraid of his bisexual side'. In the first place, that phrase really says to embrace his bisexual side.  That's not the issue: from the way you've explained it - he's heterosexual and perhaps (just perhaps) a little bi-curious. He needs to investigate and come to terms with those feelings - has he betrayed his identity for all these years? is this just an obsession with another aspect of sexuality he'd like to explore? is this a reaction to a particular person he's met or something going on in his marriage?  All of these things need to be explored before he "embraces" anything (or "becomes not afraid of" something).

In my opinion, the best thing you could do is to listen and ASK questions, rather than give advice. And help him figure himself and his feeling out.

Answer 6

I don't try to tell people what they are going to find if they let go and explore the possibilities. The simple fact is, I can't know. They are possibilities, not unavoidable facts. My personal belief being at ease with the question is far more important than the answer.