How to find him?

Question

Ok I wanted to know how to find my girlfriends father.. Problem is we know nothing about him, her mother is hmm somewhat "not all there" and just says she doesn't know his last name ect.. but yet he was around till she was 2 and then gone! No fathers name was put on the birth certificate ect.. So we have nothing to go by ect... How can we find her dad? We live in NY and she was born in Brooklyn. Anything ideas will help.. Oh and supposidly her father's father picked her and her mom up at the hospital!

Answer 1

Sounds like a difficult one. What about running an add with dates of birth and see what comes of it. Give some facts, dates and name of hospital and say something about the father's father picking up the mom, it might ring a bell in some family.

Answer 2

good_old_bastard gave you some good research sites.  Searching is a long and arduous process.  If you can afford it, I might recommend hiring a searcher.  I was recently reunited with a son who used a searcher after five years of trying it on his own--it took her one month.

Answer 3

baptism records? other family may know who he is? friends? if her mother won't tell you, then i'd start asking other family and friends. Pictures? classmates.com, old schools? where'd they meet? how'd they meet? were they seen together anywhere? there must be a way to trace him....

what about old phone books from that time. Does she have an address where they lived up until she was two? maybe he was listed as someone at that address. Try going to your library sometimes they have old phone book records, or you can search online and find people who have them too. Where'd they meet? how'd they meet? drill her mother! So her grandpa picked her up from the hospital....was there a birth annoucement in the paper? you could check that out at the library too. Has she requested all of her medical records from the hospital? His name may be there somewhere? Does she have a baby book? maybe baby shower gift list? w/ her grandpas last name on it?

Answer 4

Your girlfriend needs to convince her mother that because of her future health needs, the future health needs of her children (her mother's grandchildren) your friend needs to get the health history of her biological father.  She needs to ask for a DNA sample of her father for the purpose of genetic analysis in future doctor visits.  Soon, medical doctors will not adequately treat people who cannot furnish health information (genetic details) of their biological parents and better yet biological grandparents.  It's very important that she gets this information as soon as possible before her father dies and getting a DNA sample is more difficult. Her mother knows her father's last name, but is just too angry and ashamed to discuss it.  Most of us born out of wedlock have encounted the same bull from our mothers because of that same shame.  However, you girlfriends birth was not her fault and she should not be required by her mother to suffer the consequences (no paternal social security, no death benefits, no inheritance, no fathering/grand parenting, etc.) of not knowing her biological father or his family history.  She needs to persist her search.