How to find my biological family?

Question

where do I start to look for my biological family? I don't have a birth certificate, I don't have any adoption papers (i'm scared to ask my adoptive parents, I don't want to break their hearts!)

I don't even have a name!!! Do I contact the government of the country I was adopted from? Or should I just ask for my adoption papers???

Answer 1

First set aside your fears and try your adoptive parents. If they are familiar with issues in adoption, they are probably stressing out wondering when you are going to ask "the big question" and should understand you are trying to figure out your life. Just tell them straight out that you want to research your biological family and ask them to help you. They may have everything you want to know locked away in a safety deposit box or something. At the very least, they can tell you what agency they adopted you through and you can take it from there. It's very important that you find your roots.

Answer 2

Ask them if you're interested in searching.  I just asked mine.  I could tell my mom was hurt a bit but in the end you hope that they understand and want what's best for you...that would be finding that missing piece of your past.  My mom just wrote me a note saying how she wished she had been the one to birth me & what not...I'm trying to be sensitive to her feelings but I know this is something that I have to do as it's not about her right now.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I am a soon to be adoptive parent.  While the child has been my foster child I have gotton anything I can get my hands on.  I have been able to get birth certificate hospital records and shot reccords just by askeing and paying the fees for copies I have made him a book with all of this info init some of the paper work has his bmom ss on it.  If he ever wants it all he needs to do is ask me and I will hand if over.  and even help him find her I know it will hurt but I have to support my son in everything he decided to do with his life.  

I am sure your parents feel the same.

Answer 4

if i was in your situation i would sit my parents down and talk to them about it ask them what they think about it and would they mind and there feelings about it if you looked them up tell them that you love them but its just something you need to know

Answer 5

your adopted parents would completely understand if you wanted to at least know who your biological parents were.. just don't ask to meet them... i would understand if you at least wanted to know they're names... you could ask for he adoption papers and/or visit the place you were adopted from and ask to see your files.. just make sure when you ask your adopted parent you ask nicely

Answer 6

You should break down and ask your adoptive parents for any piece of information they have.  I am sure they will understand your desire to find your biological family.  NOT discussing it with them and going out on your own to find your birth parents might hurt them more than going to them and simply asking "Would you have anything that would help me find out where I came from?"

Answer 7

You should be able to get a lot of information when you are 18.  Prior to that you might get some info.  Trell your parents you want to find your biological parents, just to see them.

Answer 8

First, register with ISRR:

http://www.isrr.net

Second, depending on what state the adoption occurred in, there may be state registries to register with that facilitate reunions.

Third, if you were adopted through an agency, they may offer reunion facilitation services. (It will cost money, though not as much as a private investigator.)

Also register your information on

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on your state records -

http://adopteerights.net/

(click on the page marked 'Searchers' down the left hand side)

Check here for search help - and links to FREE search angels -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

There's a lot of people out there who are willing to help you.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Phil gave you some terrific resources.  Be sure to sign up with the ISRR.  

When you check with the information on the adopteerights.net Website that he gave you, you may find that you were adopted in a state with open records.  If you were adopted in one of these states, you can actually receive a copy of your original birth certificate.  That won't find them for you, but it gives you the name of your bio mom and possibly your bio dad.  It's certainly more information than you have now.

Definitely check into the search resources and search angel resources available that he told you about, too.  

As for your adoptive parents, I was surprised to find out the my adoptive mom was actually curious, herself.  You never know how they might feel.   Eventually, most realize that it's not about replacing them, it's just about knowing your own history and background.