How to find out if my sister in law is cheating on my brother?!!?

Question

I have 2 nephews and a niece, they are 16, 13, and 11yrs old. The two oldest told me about a month ago that their mom flirts on the phone for long hours. She works @ night n my brother works during the day n they're hardly ever together(alone). The other day i went to their house n my niece wanted to let me borrow a dvd. She told me where it was n next to it there was an empty box of birth control pills.I asked my niece if her parents ever had any privacy to do it n she said no.(they are ALWAYS w/ their parents they are never alowed to go anywhere w/their friends) I know its wrong to be in someone elses business but now i'm involved b/c my niece and nephew complain to me n i really care about them and i care about my brother.

Answer 1

HOW ABOUT GETTING A LIFE OF YOUR OWN AND STOP GOSSIPING WITH CHILDREN AND YOU WOULDNT HAVE TO BE IN YOUR BROS BUSINESS!!!!

Answer 2

dont get involved, youll only end up regretting it.

Answer 3

talk to your brother and sister-in-law about  this not the kids!

Answer 4

You really need to mind our own business.  Trust me......I have three kids in the house and my husband and I still find time to "do it".  You really have no proof of anything.  She could be talking to your brother on the phone.  She may or may not be having an affair but you have no business getting in the middle of it.  The smart thing for you to do is to let her self destruct and be there for your brother if and when she does.  As for your neice and nephew.....just assure them that you are there for them and their parents are adults and will work this out between them.  

Answer 5

I applaud you.  Call Columbo!

Answer 6

I caught my brother-in-law talking on the phone to another woman and I told my sister. Can you say big mistake!  She started acting funny towards me.  IMO, MYOB!

Answer 7

An empty BCP pack is not proof-positive of an extramarital affair. I take the pill to control menstrual problems, even though my husband has had a vasectomy.

I think you should stay the course and keep out of your sibling's business.  While you may be concerned about your niece & nephews, infidelity (IF it's happening) is not harming them in any way.  And if BOTH parents have child-chaperones ALL the time (as you were told) then there is little to no chance of your SIL being unfaithful.  

Just stay clear; you don't want to be stirring up family drama where there isn't any...regardless of how well-meaning it might start out.

Answer 8

I would stay out of this one.  If you see anything else than follow her.  But just because you saw birth control and the kid said they don't do it is not enough evidence and it could ruin your relationship with your brother.

Answer 9

I think you need to step back a little.  You crossed the line by asking your niece if her parents ever have any privacy for s*x.  You may have your suspicions, but you are going to cause a lot of problems if you get between your brother and his wife by being the "confidant" for their children.  Just back off and try to keep yourself out of their business.  If you really want to be a friend to your brother, you should be able to talk to him and ask him how things are going, if he's happy, etc., but don't do any of this sneaky spying stuff.

Answer 10

If you care about your brother you will stay out of it.

Let him and his wife handle any problems that they have in their family.

In-laws should butt out.

Answer 11

Unless you are willing to play detective you will have to drop it.  Just suppose that you do find out she is having an affair how will you tell your brother.  It will be devastating for him and for the children too.

Answer 12

Don't cast yourself in the role of investigator.  Instead, try to be a communication facilitator.  I think you should invite her to lunch and calmly explain to her what her children think.  Then tell her that you're going to talk to your brother about it the next day, so if she hasn't explained things to him by then, it's going to come as quite a shock to him.  This solves the problem of information flowing only to you, by making sure it also flows to the parents.

Answer 13

You're already in too deep.  You should really back off and MYOB because there are bound to be circumstances which will cause you to look foolish, no matter what the outcome.  

Answer 14

I think you should mind your own business!!

Answer 15

I can think of several reasons for her to be taking BC and it has nothing to do with birth control.

BC regulates your hormones if you are entering perimenopause (if she's old enough to have a 16 year old then she could be old enough to be entering that phase of life)

New BC stops your period all together so you can just have a period 4 times a year.

Some women who suffer from endometriosis are prescribed BC to help with their problems.

Just because you go through a phase where you aren't sleeping with your husband doesn't mean you stop the BC, when the opportunity for s*x happens you want to be prepared.

This is really none of your business and you would do everyone a favor by butting out.

Imagine the kind of havoc you accusing your sister in law of having an affair would create.  And if it is proved that you are wrong and she is innocent--guess what...you won't be welcomed in their home any more.  They will see you as an aggitator and a trouble maker and deny you access to their children.