Question:

How to fix the trust in your relationship after you have lied? Does time really mend trust issues?

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Not quite a year ago, I lied to my mate. It was what I thought was a meaningless lie. I had hoped he had gotten me pregnant, we had discussed this before. I bought a test and the first one was negative. I saved the second in my car to take later. He later asked me if I thought I was pregnant. I told him I wasn't sure. He asked if I had testeed, and for some reason I said no. He later found the second test, and his impression was that I thought I was pregnant and was hiding it from him. His conclusion was if I was hiding this and lying then it must be because I was sleeping around.

In all honesty, it was a nonsensical lie, and I have never thought of cheating on him.

Time has passed, and I thought we had gotten over it, but he was using my phone and saw a number he did not recognize. I explained that it was an old coworker of mine, who did not have a phone and that number was her fiance's number.

All the past came back and he is paranoid that I am sleeping around on him. For true feedback- I am not cheating. I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy. I offered to call the number or give him the info, and he said I guess we jst have trust issues. I asked how I can help fix things and he said to just give it time.

Is this really the only solution? And does time really help mend this sort of thing? If there is something I can do to ease his worries, I would do them...

We have a four year old and am terrified that the lack of trust will ultimately be our undoing... I want to save my family.

Any advise?

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  1. I don't see where you lied. He asked if you took the second test and you said no. Since it was in your car you obviously didn't take the test.

    My husband has used my phone hundreds of times and never saw occation to look to see who all has called me. So, why does your mate feel the need to snoop?

    A big part of me wonders what he is up to....

    Without trust there is no love. Sometimes time works and sometimes it don't. I think most of all you guys need to get into counciling.


  2. just make sure your there for your family and don't do anything else suspisious, he is unsure your being loyal to him, asure him your are and that you love him.

    be completly honest from now on

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