How to fix this problem?!!!?

Question

see..I have a sister and she is 6 yo than me(i'm 14) and 2 days ago i got into a big fight with her...actually it was a stupid thing(and i think i have a short temper) cause it was 12am and i wanted to go to sleep.but of course she would comin light the light and make LOUD noises!!!(i'm cant sleep when something disturb me) So i got up and told her to turn the light off and do it the other day cause i'm really tired and i want to sleep.But she insisted and ignored me completely!So i kept reaping it to her and after 10th time my tone changed and i became angry.And i said the MOST stupid thing that i didn't mean at all.I said ,get out of the houses cause i dont wanna live with u under one roof.So she pact up and left to live with her bf.

now everyone is mad at me for that,and i feel reallly guilty.Tho I CANT say sorry to her or i love u either(cause i dont)i have hated her for most of ma life cause she MADE me do things i didnt wanna do.And she used to lock me up in places call me from b*tch to sl*t,got me in trouble ,and beat me up.

But still she was my sister and no matter how much i hated her i would ALWAYS stand up for her.

please help me!

Answer 1

unfortunately the only thing you can do is say youre sorry or wait for it all to blow over. if youre like the typical sisters, you should both in due time forgive and forget.

apologizing will speed up the process though.

and i know you probably dont want to hear this right now but you really do love your sister. as much as it kills you, you do. i always imagine that a relative that im less than fond of at the moment, [in your case, your sister] if they died. and really imagined the feelings. like i can say i want someone to die but i never mean it. so i think of if it really happened. would i cry or party? 99.99% of the time i say i would cry.

now i know youre not saying you want your sister to die, its just an example to prove to yourself how much you love her.

i have the same relationship with my mother, and it kills me to realize that i love her cause i dont want to but it just happens.

hope i helped. =]