How to gain back my confidence?

Question

Asked this earlier...never posted! Here goes again...

Was bucked off one of our horses back in July. Broke my ankle, needed surgery. Get the cast off on Thursday, and will then have a walking boot.

For those of you that have had similar experiences, what is the best way for me to gain back my confidence?

I am 35, have never broken a bone in my life, so it was pretty scary...This was a new horse we took in...my fault totally...didn't warm him up first, and he is one w/ a ton of energy...learned my lesson on that one!

Any advice on getting back into riding w/ confidence would be appreciated.. (i've never been thrown from a horse before...so it pretty much freaked me out)

Would like to be able to ride again this fall, so I have a little time...thinking going back to basics w/ the ground work, and just getting back into it slowly, but would love to hear what you have done in a similar situation.

Answer 1

that's exactly what I did, DO NOT get back on if you r nervous, horses are sooo smart, they sense it, and do the same thing over and over.....b/c they now know that it works, you have to be oh so careful when getting back into it, and you have to kind of teach them they can't do that, so definitely start slow and chances are the horse may try to throw you for a while until he/she learns it doesn't work....hope this helps...

Answer 2

I've fallen off a few times...  once I landed hard on both feet and had both ankles sprained pretty bad!  That was a week before my graduation from college and a move!  You know how hard it is to get around on crutches when both ankles hurt!

Anyway, is there another horse you could ride for awhile?  One that you might feel more comfortable on?  Maybe that way you can get your riding strength back in your legs and get your seat before you get on the other one.  It seems like you know why it happened, so if you can prevent it, then you shouldn't have to worry.  (I know, that's easy to say, but not always so easy to believe!)  Do you wear a helmet when you ride?  I guess when I wear mine, I feel like I have one less thing to worry about.

Also, I read a great book about fear in riding.  I can't remember what it's called, but it explained a lot to me.  My fear is the fear of getting hurt, for sure.  The other type of fear the book talked about is fear of performance.  I don't think I worry about that too much!

The bit about getting right back on is great in theory, but I feel that's not always possible.  If one gets hurt bad enough, you need to take care of yourself first.  You'll get back on when you are ready and able.  There is no use making an injury worse.

Whatever you do, good luck!  And it seems to me like you really want to be riding so I'm sure you'll get there!

Answer 3

hi im kristina, i was bucked off a horse at least 30 times.

i never REALLY hurt myself but i know people who did.

well if you are a horse lover like me then im sure that you will be able to get back into that saddle, the problem is this trick i learned from my instructor, when you fall off a horse, you need to get RIGHT BACK ON AGAIN, if you don't and decide to go home, then you will risk losing your confidence and being scared to go back on. i think you should as soon as you can get back on a horse a ride, do not think about falling off again. horses are dangerous and unpredictable but the most important thing is to know your horse, if you don't then accidents happen, if you do then i am sure that even when he tries, you won't fall off because you will be ready.

all i can say is that when i feel off a horse in 2007, i hurt my arm, and i fell off because i was going too fast for a jump and the horse got spooked by a squirrel, and gallopped to the side and i hurt my arm. i cried for 2 mn, and then my instructor told me that either i get back on the horse and continue my lesson or i will have the risk of never wanting to ride again. the key is to get right back on again.

i hope i helped you build your confidence!! :)

BTW if you need a boost, try spending time with the horse that bucked you off, try talking care of him, giving him treats and stuff, for him to know who you are and know that you are NO person to be bucked off by.

good luck, and i hope you get your butt back into the saddle soon.!!!:P:P:P:)

Answer 4

Here's the story of me and my 7 year old mare:

At 3 I took her to a friend who'd done well with others. Not a good experience. She was started to everything but weight in the saddle - join up, all the Parelli ground work, etc but got real nervous when it came time to get on. So I decided I better let someone else finish her. He after 45 days still was barely on her back - and I learned he'd led me a bit astray for my $750 a month, she was getting about 3.5 days of work a week and otherwise was locked in a 10 x 10 stall. Not a good situation. So I brought her home and started myself. A small wind knocking the doors of the arena around sent her into a rodeo buck. I luckily didn't break anything but couldn't sit at all for a few days and was very uncomfortable doing so for a good 3 months.

Through a few trainers more who did nothing to build her confidence and a few more tossings I'm at my wits end now. The tough part is that I am certain it's not that she's goofy or stupid or bad - she's just very afraid of things because she's been pushed too hard into too many things too fast by people who shouldn't have been on her, including me.

This lesson, over the last 4 years has taught me that:

1. I can get hurt awfully bad now that I'm over 35

2. I don't know near as much about horses as I thought I did

3. I need help from a professional

I have two choices - I can give up on my babies I've raised or I can learn to do this bit by bit from the basics again.

It helps to fully understand how a horse's mind works. I've found great amounts of information in books, on video's and on RFD TV. Unfortunately it's not easy to understand. Humans, being the quick learners by observation we are, do not naturally have the patience required to properly interact with horses to the best of our abilities. Reading Buck Brannaman's books The Faraway Horses and Believe reinforced to me that my problems with my horses are mine, not the horses. My biggest issues are patience and goal setting. I've never learned to set a large goals then identify the smaller goals to get to the larger ones. I've never learned how to teach anyone anything in small increments or think any other way than my mind works. From reading and watching everything I can afford to get my hands on, and putting it all together with logic and persistence, I have learned much.

I would suggest the same might work for you - and that you start from the ground up again - probably the biggest thing you need to learn is how to identify when the horse is going to act up again and head it off. Just the other day, Mother and I were discussing this subject - she's got 50 years on me in the saddle and she's less confident even than I am. We've both come to the realization at the same time that some riding is actually work and takes focus. It was many years ago that we were able to jump on a horse, take to the trails, swing our legs and ride along lazily. Neither of us can do that anymore with young untrained horses - it's going to take years of focus and constant control to get our young ones to the point we want them.

So - if you'd have asked this question right after you broke that ankle, I'd have told ya to use the recuperation time reading and watching.

I would suggest to you that starting from the ground and gaining focus from the horse would be best - if you're not knowledgeable about Monte Roberts theories on join up, get some info and try it. The process is meant to get you and the horse in the proper relationship with you as the leader and he the trusted follower. YOu must know how to be the best leader for him before he will be 100% sound with you.

Meanwhile, you must, if you already haven't, determine why he dumped you. Was he spooked? Was he simply testing you out and won? Has he been ridden since? Is there pain somewhere that caused his actions?

another idea is to get to a clinic with him - get to a 3-day clinic with someone like Buck Brannaman, Ray Hunt, Pat Parelli, a parelli instructor, Clinton Anderson, Chris Cox, Peter Campbell, Dennis Reis or even a local yokel who practices these theories and processes of "natural" horsemanship - which simply means you try to understand how a horse thinks, what their view of you is and how to use that information to create a sound relationship with them. Here in Michigan we have a great Local guy who's got that Mare of Mine now. I'm getting her back Sunday - we'll see how we progress.

Above all, dear - don't think you must be doing this or that by this or that time. Riding all the time in an arena is not bad as long as you and that horse are learning. I personally feel much more at ease in an arena. We rarely encounter spooky objects there, so I plan to do some de-sensitizing there first. I'm getting one of those big exercise balls to play with her at liberty, in hand and mounted to get us used to things that move quickly. I'm wanting her to "spook in place" - jump then stop and think, not take off bucking or bolting when she's afraid. Broom soccer and other things are available to.

Set a big goal - set it even a year out - for example, riding on a trail with one trusted friend and a solid horse next spring. Then set small goals - like perhaps walk, trot and lope in an enclosed area completely under control, then even smaller goals - don't even give these exact time limits - be willing to change them as needed = and remember, always remember who you're doing it for: You and the horse. If it's not rewarding for you both why do it? If it's too much work for you, then get rid of that horse and get a more solid one for you. There's nothing wrong with that. personally for me, admitting defeat is not an option any more than selling one of the equine children I've raised. If I can't set her up to be a sound riding horse for me, how can I expect her to be a sound riding horse for another person and get her a safe home even? I not only would be admitting defeat, I'd be sentencing her to a life of doom without a sound start - and I owe her more than that.

Good luck = and by all means DO remember the helmet. Avoid the situations where he'll dump you and try to head them off - keeping ventures outside of a controlled area like a pen or arena he's comfortable in should be very well controlled - for example, if you wish to ride in a field near your home. Start out with short ventures into the field. Keep his focus on you at all times, never allow yourself to think about the birds or grass or let your mind wander - if he's looking at something, turn his nose away and remind him he needs to be listening to you. Pick a point, ride to it, then pick another point back towards comfort. To the uneducated person, it may look like you're meandering aimlessly, but to you and the horse you are focused with an objective that he focuses on too.

Good luck - stay safe!

Answer 5

Hey I am sorry to hear about your bad experience, I think all us horsey people have all had a bad fall or two and they can be really scary but if you love what you do then you have to get over your fear and jump back in the saddle. I would suggest starting out slow and if you have access to a very well broke bomb proof horse ride him in a riding ring and if you are uncomfortable doing that maybe you could have some one help you with a lounge line, you will get over your fears. I had a very very HOT Saddlebred that threw me off on a  trail ride after being spooked by a bunny  and left me two miles deep in the woods and hauled boogey back to the barn, it took me a few times riding in the ring to feel confident to take him back out on the trails.

Good Luck & Happy Trails!

Answer 6

I can SO relate! On my 55th birthday, last November I was thrown and broke my arm. In May when Doctor finally says I can get back on, I used every precaution I could think of: In a round pen with an absolutely docile horse, with a trainer, AND I STILL COULDN'T BREATHE!!  I am doing much better now and actually ejoy it again! So my advice from my limited experience is limit the horse's mobility room and choose your horse carefully. NEVER go out alone and trust AND USE your knowledge of horses. Take it slow, go out for short periods frequently. Your idea of getting back to basics is always a good plan. Experienced riders sometimes get into bad habits of taking shortcuts, etc, so its always wise to go over the rules (darn!) But your horse will appreciate it as well!

Enjoy!

Answer 7

Get a copy of the CD "Building Confidence With Horses" by Julie Goodnight at http://www.juliegoodnight.com/products.h... Had a friend in a similar situation who listened to this for a week and it brought her back to riding after almost quitting. And now she has her own horse. :-)

Answer 8

i broke my back riding horses, what i did was i just stood outside the stall and petted him for a day, then i went in the stall and petted him 4 another day, then i got someone to lead him while i was on his back then............................ so on

Answer 9

I know its scary to fall off, especially when you break some bones doing it. Honestly, it gets alot less scary the more times it happens to you.

I agree with what someone said above... dont get back on right away if you are really nervous... this will only be felt by the horse which in turn will make him nervous.

BUT! I do honestly think you need to try to get back on. I would hang out around the horses alot just on the ground til you feel like you would be comfortable getting back on. When you do get back on, choose a horse that you can just walk around on and that you really trust. Take it slow until you gradually feel more and more comfortable up there. Just make sure you wait until your ankle has totally healed.. you dont want to injure it more.

Best of Luck, and I hope your ankle heals well! :)

Answer 10

The same thing happened to me and I know how you are feeling!

Before jumping straight in and riding the horse spend some time around them to help you gain confidence. Then get a good riding instructor and a horse that you trust to take you back to the basics. Just walking for the first couple of lessons and then start to build it up from there!

Good Luck.