Please help! I'm desperate in need of advice on what to do. Sorry for this long and boring story but I feel you guys need the full details to help give me an answer.
I'm not one to brag, but humbly am the luckiest s****.in the world. I’ve been married for 2 years but been with the love of my life for 14 years. I don't deserve to be with her. I sometimes tell her I'm not the man for her. But she feels to differ, and I'm not complaining.
I'm 30, my wife is 28. High school sweethearts. Through the years we've been together I can count the number of times she screwed up in our relationship which is 3. As for me, let’s say a lot.
She does not trust me anymore. This is because I'm a compulsive liar. I've never cheated, but got involved with heavy drugs. By the time I was 23 years old, I had hit rock bottom financially. She found out I was a druggie not once, or twice, but 3 times. She told me to get help or she was gone. I love her very much and at that time I did everything I could possibly do to get my $#!T together. It was a slow process but well worth still having her in my life. She worked part-time and went to school full time. Amazingly she put herself through college w/ a bachelor’s degree and cleaned up my debt. Even before we got married we both made it clear who was to handle the finances.
Here’s where we are now: I get paid weekly and the deal is that with my wife’s paycheck she pays all the bills. My pay check gets broken down to a %'age where a certain amount goes to our saving account which is in her name only. I'm the beneficiary if anything was to happen. Then some goes in to a car account just in case car breaks down, a little in a x-mas account, which at the end I'm left with and average of $80-100.00 a wk. and $450-500.00 total in a month. I'm one who like to by c**p that I don't need and at the end have nothing to show for. It's either c**p or nothing. My wife gets upset to the fact that I never spend or contribute any of my money on her or us. She says it's only spent on me.
I’m an electrician and my wife and I both work for the same company. She’s our accountant. A week before our 1st wedding anniversary I took out a loan for $1000.00. We stayed on the island and stayed in a luxury hotel for the weekend. The money was used to spend for that weekend. I did not tell her that I took out a loan (keep in mind that my wife still handles all our finances). I took the loan out because it was our anniversary. I couldn’t have her pay for every thing that weekend. So there was no way I could afford going out on fancy and expensive dinners. So I used the money for that purpose. The remaining money I had left I had budgeted I had planned on getting her the Gucci hand bag she and I had looked at a month before and she said she wanted. We exchanged gifts that we got for each other and had a perfect 1st year anniversary that weekend.
Exactly 1 month had past (here is the 1st of 2 issues in regards to this subject) we came home from work and she had checked the mail as usual. She had looked into our monthly bank statement and had found out that I had taken out a loan. She was very angry and disturbed that I had taken out a loan without her consent. She became very curious to what the money was used for and what did I spend it on. We seriously sat down and wrote down on a piece of paper and I had to account for every dollar & ensure her that I did use all the money that weekend for our anniversary. It had come out that I was unable to account for $200.00. She dropped it and we immediately paid off the loan using our money saved.
My 2nd incident occurred last Christmas. I had my appendix removed and was out of work for 1 month. For a long time my wife wanted to go to New York, and travel to Europe. She and I did some homework on airfare and it was pretty costly. I decided to surprise her and give her, her dream vacation. So I did it again, I took out a loan for $5000.00 without her knowing. I realized that I done wrong and decided to return the money. I had had the money for about a week, $5000.00 in cash in a letter envelope. The day I was to return the money I stopped at a convenient store to grab something to drink. I was in the store for only 5 minutes, I drove to the bank reached inside the middle console of compartment and realized that someone had reached into my vehicles compartment and taken my money. I was in complete shock….my heart dropped and all at once everything around me had stopped. I tore my vehicle apart looking for the envelope, and realized it was really gone. I did not know what to do. I literally pulled my hair from my head, pinched myself really hard to see if this was a dream, only to come to the fact that this is the beginning of my nightmare. I didn’t know how to tell my wife. I did not have the courage to tell her what have been done. I was out of it I forgot to make a police report. I later realized, would the police even believe me. I mean who would be stupid enoug
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