How to gain self-confidence?

Question

Lately people have been telling me I am insecure. When, in fact, I guess I'm so used to it that I haven't noticed. I really love my life right now (except for school), but how can I gain the confidence I need? I just want to be happy, to seem happy. I don't want anyone else telling me I'm insecure.

Please, no sarcastic comments. I'm being serious, this is my life.

Answer 1

Why are people telling you you are insecure?  Are you saying negative things about yourself.  A good way to have more confidence is to think about all the hillbillies in the world with no teeth and wearing clothes that are too small for them and you will think more highly of yourself!

Answer 2

I'm insecure too. Most insecurities come from fear. It could be fear of failing, like in relationships with others, fear of embarrassment, rejection, being made fun of,  etc., etc. 99.9% of people, young and old, have SOME insecurities, so you're not the only one!

You just have to learn not to take these insecurities too seriously, shrug it off..have a laugh about it, because most insecurities are silly anyway! We just blow them waaay out of proportion!

I find the only real way to get self-confidence is to set small goals for yourself, and get out there and do them. This could be anything-from cleaning up your room, to finishing a project, to learning a new skill. You develop a strong belief in yourself by accomplishing these feats. Don't beat yourself up if you fail at something, instead congratulate yourself for TRYING..as long as you try, you can't fail.

Also, stop worrying about what others think of you. Are these people going to even matter a couple of years or even days from now? No. Do whatever you WANT to do, to make YOURSELF happy.

Good luck. ;)

Answer 3

It will come with time.

In the meantime, 2 things. (1) You gain confidence by learning that you can count on yourself to come through.  So when you do something well, have a little personal, private celebration.  When  you mess up, take note, learn from it, then move on.

(2)  Get this book to help you regulate your thinking better--it has powerful tools, highly successful, highly recommended.  But to get the benefits, you have to DO the written exercises (not hard, just take some work).

Meanwhile, don't worry about it.  People often knock others when they get the chance, to get a quick "ego-fix"!  The only time you really need to worry about insecurity is when it gets in the way of what you want to accomplish (like winning the right guy).

Also, it can really help (this is actually item 3) to know yourself well.  I know no quicker and better way that this website:

Go to the website below, and for free register and take the test to learn more about yourself--it can be quite enlightening. The test has been around for decades and is commonly used by psychologists and counselors generally.

http://kts2.personalityzone.com/user/reg...

Once you've taken the test, AND have your 4-letter personality/temperament designator, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/myers-brigg... and scroll down to the paragraph titled: "Type dynamics and development" and look to the right at the rectangle titled "The Sixteen Types" and find your four-letter type and click on it, and read about yourself! If you answered the questions on the test honestly and accurately, you'll be amazed at how well you're described!

Answer 4

If you love your life right now then you ARE happy.

You can't let what other people say to you affect you like that when you're already OK.  If they tell you you're insecure and you feel you're not insecure tell them "I'm fine.  Thank you".

If you do want to gain some confidence just find something you like to do that makes you feel good about yourself and happy and just do that.

You don't have to be like everyone else to be happy.