How to get a man to show feelings?

Question

My fiance is in the States, I'm in Europe. We plan on getting married next year. When he was here this year to visit he was the sweetest person. We have known each other for over 6 years now, have a 5 year-old daughter together. Just got back together this year.

So in person he is the sweetest person, just how I know him. But now we are on the long-distance part of the relationship and he's so cold on the phone most of the time. I mean, the I Love You I get at the end of every conversation, we talk about 4 or 5 times a day, maybe more. But the I Love You is about it. He only says he misses me when I say it first. I get no sweet e-mail, no sweet text messages, no e-cards, no cards in the mail. Got an engagement ring this week, only cuz I asked for one. He just doesn't show feelings. Sometimes, on a rare occassion he will tell me how much he appreciates me and how much he loves and misses me...about once a month. But I need to hear things more, especially being so far apart. I need reassurance. How do I get him to be more "emotional"??????

Answer 1

For one, why don't you take this up with him?

Secondly, maybe he feels kinda weird saying " I love you" over the phone.

Third, maybe he's not the expressive type.

You ought to check this out -> http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Long-Dista...

Answer 2

Good Luck with this one me and my husband have been married for 6 years now he is still as stubborn as the day we have been dating.  I say unless things are becoming very distressed between you too there is really no problem men will be men and they are the most stubborn ever its been going on for decades they can't help it.

Answer 3

Some men simply don't "give good phone"  meaning they either hate talking on the phone, or simply do not communicate well while on the phone.

In person you have all kinds of body language coming at you...on the phone...just a voice.  Talking to someone via phone, we are listening for more then just words.  We listen for fluctuations in tone, sighs, snickers...sometimes we can even tell when someone smiles by the slight change in their voice.  All these things communicate just as much as the words said.

A lack of any of the above mentioned can make a person sound cold or distant.

I wish I could tell you how NOT to feel so insecure...but in a long-distance relationship that can be difficult.  Especially when your with someone who doesn't express a lot of emotion anyway.

Answer 4

You cannot change him, and you should not go in to a serious relationship with anyone you have problems with.  He is who he is - take it or leave it. Maybe you need to work on your SELF instead of focusing on trying to change HIM. Your insecurities are NOT his responsibility.

Seriously - I am NOT out to hurt your feelings or put you down, I just know from experience that trying to change anyone else to suit you better is a gigantic waste of time and energy.  YOU need to take care of YOU and make sure YOU are happy - never depend on anyone to make you happy - it just does not work that way.  

Answer 5

If he hasn't shown any feelings like your wanting by now then he's not going to.  Some men are like that and they have a hard time saying what they mean or want, or maybe he shows it in other ways that you don't think of because they aren't the way you want them to be.

Answer 6

Some guys just aren't phone people.  Sounds like he really does love you and appreciate you, just doesn't like the phone.  If it is really a big deal to you, tell him exactly what you said here: you need some extra reassurance and feel like he's cold when he isn't right there with you.  He will probably put some more effort into it.

Answer 7

Well if he was affectionate the first time you were together then maybe

you guys just done have a strong enough relationship anymore. Im know im young,,,younger then u think but i know a whole lot about relationships. Just tell him that he doesnt seem like the person i used to know and that i need a guy who will show me that he loves me.

Hope I Helped :D  

Answer 8

Men are often times not good communicators or conversationalists.  It's too bad, because women really often feel the need for good conversation and affection, especially long distance.  The remedy? Make sure you tell him how much you need his affection and loving words.  Maybe he'll try harder.  Also, long distance isn't really very healthy...try to have one of you move nearer to the other...and soon. It'll be best for you as a couple, and for your daughter to have her father.

Good luck.